AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

We had internet in the 1990s and mobile phones and landlines, council tax or rates as we called them, water rates based on rateable value of the property (which were high), we had cars (but most people drove jalopies) and house insurance was higher then than what we pay now and tied to the mortgage company so they could charge what they liked. We also paid 25% tax and 15% mortgage interest rates. My first Hotpoint washing machine in 1987 cost £100 more than the washing machine I bought last year. We really weren't any better off in the 90s but I do agree that we didn't have the external pressure to spend more than we had either.

I live in a big rural county with less central funding than many areas and have several near me.

I always understood that someone was middle class if they or especially their parents and grandparents went to university. It's got nothing to do with spending power. If someone is born into an aristocratic family and falls on hard times, loses the family fortune, and works in Tesco it doesn't and will not ever make them working class. People can become middle class through education, however, many people will choose to still claim to be the class of their upbringing.

Hmm, I'm conflicted on this. I know plenty of rich builders who defo aren't middle class. However, my father grew up very poor in the east end and went to work for a big banking group in his late teens as a clerk.

He stayed there for four decades and became pretty senior. He's well spoken, plays golf, and you'd never guess he'd grown up poor. It's not even that he adopted the affectations of the middle class. He just spent his entire life from his teens until retirement in corporate environments and became pretty much indistinguishable from the other men around him.

Feel exactly the same. I prioritise my kids clothes and activities and then when ot comes to me I feel like I can only afford cheap cosmetics, toiletries, clothesl -- despite our household income being pretty high. I was easily able to afford new clothes regularly back in my 20s and 30s - of course it makes a difference having dependants but everything is juat so much more.expensive- and worse quality!

As a society we just spend so much more money wastefully than previous generations. And we are pressured to do it, as if it’s the norm. Most middle class people, just a couple of decades ago, only bought new clothes occasionally, only ate in a restaurant a couple of times per year, never bought coffees, didn’t get massages/nails/treatments, bought cheap face cream from Boots. We had the same furniture/carpets/kitchen/bathroom for decades.

I would consider my upbringing middle class, but we didn’t have loads of hobbies, we just did brownies. We only got new things twice per year - birthday and Christmas. We went on fairly budget Europe holidays or camping in the UK. We only ever had one car and it would be 5-10 years old. Etc etc.

These days people seem to think it’s the norm to afford lunch out every week, takeaway coffee, nails once a fortnight, new clothes just because it’s a new trend, kids doing multiple hobbies, upgrade mobile phones every couple of years, lease 2 new cars per family, upgrade household furniture, redecorate, get a new kitchen etc. When I was a kid (80s) only incredibly wealthy people lived like this.

I know what you mean. I spend more time putting things back than taking them to the till. I particularly miss book buying. I love reading and I love books. I go to the library which is great but it's not the same.

I think it depends on where you live too as your bills do of course determine disposable income.

I'm renting atm as moved to the midlands for work and still not sure I want to buy here. I pay a little over £600 pcm for a decent sized maisonette on a nice estate. Not quite private drive levels of poshness but it's mainly middle class families here with plenty of decent newish cars on drives etc. Got a front and back garden and fair bit of space.

I never really need to budget and just buy what I want within reason. Bought an OLED TV, games console, quite a few gadgets, a fortnight in Crete in the past year, plus had quite a few £150 nights out, and still managed to put £15k in an ISA. I made about £57k last year so I'm not a high earner by mumsnet standards.

However, I don't have nor really want kids and in my early 30s I'm becoming more certain of that rather than less. I always thought that was maybe why I don't struggle financially but on the other hand if I lived with a similarly earning partner we'd have over £100k between us and would share bills, so I dunno.

Probs gonna make £10k less this this year as can't be arsed doing the overtime atm but I'm still feeling fairly comfortable, even if I haven't been paying into my ISA as much.

where is everyone living where they haven't closed the libraries? My closest one would cost me about £5 on the bus for a round trip, none within walking distance.

Yes, that was exactly my understanding of class as well.

I think a lot of people just see that wages are 2-3x what they are in the UK and assume that spending power is thus 2-3x what it is in the UK.

However, for wages to BE that much higher, many things automatically have to cost 2-3x higher (and in my experience some things can actually cost more like 5-10 times as much - another random example, I just stocked up on tampons back in the UK because I could get 120 for 4 pounds. Here it would cost me $40!).

The number that sticks in my head is that people have 14% more spending power here, but I actually question if even that is calculated correctly. I swear I live way more frugally than people I know in the UK - we just don't have money left for the extras that they enjoy (holidays, meals out, beauty treatments, toddler classes etc.) Saying that, of course there are things that we do like about life here, but feeling wealthy certainly isn't amongst my reasons for staying put right now!

People in the 90s didn’t have to pay out for things we need now to live ( phones, wi fi, extra council tax , higher utilities bills , water bills have increased, cost of any diy , insurances gave shot up , running a car is huge, the list is long )
All devised to part you with money.
Sounds as if living in the US isn’t much better either though and they have to worry about health care costs too ( poster below in the US , it sounds even harder for them too)

Tbf disposable income is always at its lowest whilst you’ve got kids at home. It’s only now they are grown up and leaving uni/home that we have any money to spend again. We had very little at your time of life and we are supposedly boomers.

But yes times are tough now generally:

Two full-time professional jobs, no debt and no large mortgage…yet you can’t afford the occasional treat? Do you know where exactly all that income is going?

For me, candles are a good marker of how my attitude to luxuries has changed. Ten years ago, I’d have thought of a Jo Malone or Diptyque candle as a reasonable indulgence for a 40-50 year old professional. I bought one every couple of months. Now I view it as an extravagance (£56 & £63 respectively) that I just can’t justify.

Totally agree. I’m early fifties.I grew up in poverty. Now I’m a senior professional. Household income is now more than I ever dreamed someone like me would have. Yet I’ve less disposable income than when I was a student at university working part time at McDonalds decades ago. I wandered into Fatface recently and thought it had been a long time since I bought myself something ‘just because’ and yet I couldn’t believe a basic sweater I liked was £80 so put it back. My mum worked part time on minimum wage her whole life yet constantly bought herself new clothes, expensive makeup, expensive wine, nice jewellery. I don’t get it. I’ve tried to stop thinking about it because it just depresses me.

This is true. I think that someone on lower or minimum wage should be able to afford at least a small amount of treats too, but right now most people are squeezed.

It also seems to be a quality issue too but I suppose that's linked to prices.

We just have to hope it improves. It is sad...but at the same time (depending on where you are) stuff like books, theatre, museums and others can be easier to access with little or no money (previews in London, for one, or seats at the top which often still have a good view).

Paperbacks are routinely £9.99 in Waterstones.

Influencers on SM are hugely to blame I tell you now! They have set expectations very high for stuff we either can't afford or don't need.

Look at this cream, that eye liner, this holiday place, that villa, this dress, that gadget, all fabulous and you definitely need it and right NOW!

You could get up and make a cup of tea during the ads in the past, but SM is always on (mostly) so there is no escape from people trying to get you to spend, buy, try. I know it depends on your algorithm, but believe me I only use history, ahem US cop cams (!) and groups for a health condition I have. And still some one will wang on at me to buy, use, enjoy this product or that. And of course many ARE influenced and wonder why things are so expensive out in the wild.

Anyhow, we won't die for the want of a coffee or a cake. The problem arises if you see next door and others going off on three hols a year and a new car every two years, and home improvements, similar set up to you (but who knows), same house same road. I think it makes people unhappy that they can't do the same. Dissatisfaction results and the cycle repeats itself all over again.

You’re not wrong. I mean I could afford an £80 dress if I wanted but it would have to be really special for that price.

Today I got an £80 dress in the sale for £35. There’s no way I would have bought it full price.

I like Fatface clothes but I only buy in their sales as I just can’t justify the price in my head for what the items are. I mean £65 for a flimsy skirt and £40 for a cotton top that probably cost a few pounds to produce in India. I like them but I am just not paying that.

I do like beauty products but I only get expensive stuff for birthdays/Xmas as a treat.

Look for the sales OP.

I grew up in 60s/70s in a middle class household, both parents had degrees which was not the norm then but we didn't have the things people take for granted these days. My mum seldom wore make up, she kept her clothes for years and made some of her own, we always had a holiday but never abroad and we rented a TV (as did everyone in those days).

When I got married in the late 1980s we pretty well lived to the same standards and when the kids came along in the 1990s it was pretty much the same. We always had a holiday but we drove some pretty awful cars and we didn't just buy new clothes or takeaway coffee, days out were nice countryside walks with picnics and choc ices from the home freezer.

I do look at some of the prices of clothes and question why they cost so much? Being a keen seamstress myself I spent no more than £150 on material this year (I needed to change my wardrobe because of very fragile skin) and I managed to make 8 pairs of trousers, 9 blouses and I have enough material left for another 6 of each. So 14 pairs of trousers and 15 blouses for £150 means I would never ever spend £80 on a dress.

Does this make me less than middle class? I was a Chartered professional and DH has a PhD.

I don't think "class" and "money" are the same thing at all. You can be very rich and very common all at the same time. And no, they don't look home made, I am very good but they are bespoke.

Money is tight all round, let's no anyone, apart from the very comfortable, pretend otherwise.

It's shit, bluntly.

Prices are shocking; inflation has outpaced income tremendously and it just feels really shit.

Thank you for a first of reality regarding America.

And yes, I always understood that someone was middle class if they or especially their parents and grandparents went to university. It's got nothing to do with spending power. If someone is born into an aristocratic family and falls on hard times, loses the family fortune, and works in Tesco it doesn't and will not ever make them working class. People can become middle class through education, however, many people will choose to still claim to be the class of their upbringing.

If you and your husband are in top 10% of earners, yet can't afford £80 dress, you're probably just bad with money

It really hit me when I had a slice of pizza and a coffee in the cafe at the local Asda, and then bought a book of 8 second-class stamps; the total was £15! i used to go out once a month with a group of friends to have a meal and see a film at our local independent cinema. We would meet in the cafe bar, have dinner, nothing special just a burger or a salad and a drink, get a coffee to take into the film and then have a drink afterwards. i'd get an Uber home. Can't recall what it cost about 5 years ago but it's around £60 now so has become unaffordable. I used to be a member of the cinema, it cost me £27 p.a , it now costs almost double. I just wait for fllms to come on a streaming service.

Totally agree with this statement. I am 56 and I can still remember going to London when I was about 11 or 12 and my sister and I having to share a can of coke between us (we never had coke) as a "treat".

Yes. I agree, I've always been shocked by the flash cars people are driving. Conspicuous consumption. It's often those who can truly afford it the least who are driving 'premium' cars on finance. I've known a few people who have had them repossessed. The wealthy people I know, think large land owners, tend to drive older cars. Or if they've got a new one, you know they'll be driving them for at least twelve years.