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Original poster

AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

718 replies

cocobow · 03/09/2026 16:07

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

OP posts:
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11
BadBadCat · 04/09/2026 07:47

I don't think it's that current times are hard now in comparison to the past, it's that the short time we all remember with nostalgia (the 80s and 90s) which we use as our reference happened to be the most affluent times in modern history. Prior to that the people of Britain were considerably poorer and the gap between the rich and poor was far wider than it is today.

violetcuriosity · 04/09/2026 07:45

Yes, my parents worked similar jobs to us and could take the 3 of us abroad for two weeks once a year and to centre parcs twice a year. They now take us all on holiday each year as we wouldn’t be able to do it. They also had a lovely Victorian house and we live in a small 3 bed new build.

DosPerros · 04/09/2026 07:26

Gibgertea · 03/09/2026 16:40

But 40 years ago my middle class mum wouldn’t have been going into town to buy pricey tops, books and expensive skincare with coffee out- just because. We all used the library, she bought M&S clothes when she actually needed them and we bought doughnuts to take home. Skincare was oil of Ulay. People now think they should just be able to fritter money as if it’s an entitlement.

Agree

Gibgertea · 04/09/2026 07:24

Lifelover16 · 04/09/2026 07:18

Absolutely agree, well said

Show quote history

But completely wrong. We had 14 years of Tories bleeding services dry.

Those earning money should not be allowed to do so at the expense of others.

Lifelover16 · 04/09/2026 07:18

shropshire11 · 03/09/2026 16:49

The country is becoming poorer. The state sucks vast sums out of the economy, where it would otherwise be spent productively, and spends it ineffectively on our behalf in a vast and unreformed public sector, and on its client voting class which is dependent on state handouts. We are stuck in this doom loop until we have a government that lives within its means and lets people who earn money keep it and spend it.

Absolutely agree, well said

MrsPapillon · 04/09/2026 07:17

cocobow · 03/09/2026 23:28

Yes I have friends from a very similar background to you who are now in similar careers to their parents but don't have anywhere near the same standard of living their parents did.

Show quote history

I think that young adults grossly overestimate the standard of living and disposable incomes their parents had. There just wasn’t the same ‘stuff’ to spend money on back then. Living standards were much lower 30 or 40 years ago because the bells and whistles of modern life didn’t exist.

I can remember my DCs being teenagers and DH and I were incredulous at how they spent their money. They would go into town shopping with their friends and go to a restaurant for lunch (Pizza Express or somewhere chainy). If it was raining they’d get an Uber home. I never would have dreamed of getting taxis or eating in restaurants as a teen! We’d grab a pasty or share a bag of chips with our friends on a day out in town, and get the bus home. It wouldn’t have even occurred to us!

But because our DCs had this extravagant childhood they assume that’s how it was for us too. When we were first married nearly all our wages went on mortgage, bills and childcare just like young families today. Some months we had nothing left. Yet our DCs look at the nice house we have now, and the two cars and holidays and they assume that’s been our standard of living all our lives. They haven’t got a clue.

anotherside · 04/09/2026 06:58

Summerhillsquare · 03/09/2026 16:49

Oh and the proliferation of delivery guys bring all the online shopping and takeaways to people's doors, even in my relatively working class area. I know a lot of the shopping is cheap Chinese rubbish but there's a hell of a lot of it.

China makes a lot of high quality clothing. UK stores choose to import the junk.

the80sweregreat · 04/09/2026 06:37

Did the op come back ?

NimbleTaupeTiger · 04/09/2026 06:01

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:09

@SquirrelGGWhen did shops used to be shut on a Saturday then?

Never, open Monday to Saturday and closed Wednesday afternoon where we lived but I think this half day closing moved around a bit.

Sc0tlandbye · 04/09/2026 06:00

I think its disgusting you get fuck all if you dont have kids
Like you're getting penalised for making responsible choices

Gibgertea · 04/09/2026 05:57

Dreameth · 04/09/2026 00:32

Basic amount plus your earnings (which I played around with) minus the reductions for your earnings.

Go on there and do it. I am not wrong I assure you.

Show quote history

You are wrong

Catsandcwtches · 04/09/2026 04:13

The average universal credit claim for a couple with children was £1,030 a month in Nov 2025 when the latest figures are available - gov.uk stats https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/universal-credit-statistics-29-april-2013-to-8-january-2026/universal-credit-statistics-29-april-2013-to-8-january-2026#claims-and-starts-to-universal-credit

There will always be a few people who get a lot more due to their circumstances, but that is the average claim. So about £12,000 a year. It doesn’t make people rich! Single people get less.

Universal Credit statistics, 29 April 2013 to 8 January 2026

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/universal-credit-statistics-29-april-2013-to-8-january-2026/universal-credit-statistics-29-april-2013-to-8-january-2026#claims-and-starts-to-universal-credit

Dreameth · 04/09/2026 03:15

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:38

@DreamethI just tried a calculator with some figures; a household income of 70k & a mortgage with no childcare & the only benefit available was child benefit….

Yep so whack 2k each into pension and see what it is now?

Keep fiddling with it.

If you can’t manage it I will run it tommoz and let you know

Cornishclio · 04/09/2026 02:00

Inequality is the biggest problem today but it is also possibly a generational thing. Now we are in our 60s we don’t need to watch every penny but we have no mortgage, our children are adults and I can afford to splash out on hairdressers, nails, clothes, cosmetics etc in a way I couldn’t when we were younger and bringing up a family. We now pass money over to our daughters every month as we have more spare money while they like you can afford the basics but not luxuries. We also pay for a family holiday each year and regularly buy clothes etc for grandchildren. So some of it is a disproportionate amount of your money may be going on housing, bills, children and maybe you carry student loans, credit card debt or car lease or whatever. Possibly the people spending in shops are older people like us or young professionals with no children who may have more disposable income. I think we should focus on middle and low income families and maybe tax high earners and corporations more. I am sick of those at the top making excuses as to why we should not do that.

dingodan · 04/09/2026 01:35

@SquirrelGGso your basing your opinion on your experience in another country, that makes sense!

As I said shops were never shut on Saturdays in the UK…

BaffledPiglet · 04/09/2026 01:26

lots of confusing class with wealth here. Many middle class people are struggling.

SquirrelGG · 04/09/2026 01:07

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:09

@SquirrelGGWhen did shops used to be shut on a Saturday then?

If you read my post properly you would see I said not in the UK

Kittensinspacedust · 04/09/2026 00:46

cocobow · 03/09/2026 16:07

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

You need to download whatnot and follow some of the make up sellers like hausofharlow of bluella
I was fed up of earning a decent wage but being unable to afford the odd luxury treat as our bills keep increasing and a friend told me about Whatnot. I’ve been able to buy some nice make up less than half price and brand new, brand new clothes, shoes and even a designer albeit preloved bag for the same price as a cheap Primark one. I set myself a limit in the app settings per week, so I can’t get carried away and overspend. Game changer, honestly.

Blueink · 04/09/2026 00:42

Grocery shop has become a luxury and taking huge chunk compared to pre Brexit prices, hospitality sector especially become expensive (compounded by Covid).

I rarely buy a coffee out now due to cost, whereas that was a regular luxury.

Monsoon was always expensive though.

Are your DC doing activities?

Those add up and a change since when we were young? Typically peers my age had one activity.

Holidays? We had one holiday a year in grandparents caravan (fond memories).

Having DC is more expensive than it was, due to changing expectations and reason many having smaller families.

tramtracks · 04/09/2026 00:40

LancashireButterPie · 03/09/2026 23:46

What on earth are you on about?
Of course the UK is a rich nation , in the top 10 for GDP.

There is just a huge discrepancy of wealth distribution. It needs to be remedied.

Show quote history

If you think that wealth redistribution is the answer I can guarantee that we won’t be in the top ten for GDP for long.

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:38

@DreamethI just tried a calculator with some figures; a household income of 70k & a mortgage with no childcare & the only benefit available was child benefit….

tramtracks · 04/09/2026 00:35

RuinartRuination · 04/09/2026 00:27

They’re raking it in in Ireland, you’re right. It’s become the European HQ of every multinational US tech company. But If you saw the way they are spanking the income and doing nothing about their housing and infrastructure crisis, you’d quake in your boots.

Show quote history

I think we should have taken the opportunity after Brexit to turn ourselves into the Singapore of Europe by lowering corporation tax by a massive amount and attracting these businesses to domicile here. I didn’t vote for Brexit - but it is obviously impossible to keep a bloated liberal economy going after splitting from the huge tax free trading partner of your closest neighbours.

Dreameth · 04/09/2026 00:33

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:32

That makes more sense, yes you can have a high income but still receive help with high housing & childcare costs.

Show quote history

No. Housing and childcare was not included. This is not including that.

You need to play on the calculator.

dingodan · 04/09/2026 00:32

Dreameth · 04/09/2026 00:25

Sorry @dingodan

I realise where I have confused you. I said ‘they would give us’. They aren’t giving us 4.7k.

It’s two adults, two kids working and that’s the max someone can ‘take home’ on UC to still be entitled.

That makes more sense, yes you can have a high income but still receive help with high housing & childcare costs.

tramtracks · 04/09/2026 00:32

babyproblems · 04/09/2026 00:00

YANBU. Retailers are taking the piss with pricing on the whole, as are employers and companies who are keeping wages as low as they can whilst executive and CEO pay is higher than it’s ever been before.
Dont believe that there’s no money in the economy - it’s there but in the hands of a tint minority who are doing everything possible to keep things as is.

Have you got any data to support this. My take on this is that M&S for example are an excellent British employer who pay their staff fairly. But on the other hand - H&M or Zara are foreign domiciled companies. Also the vast majority of tax is paid by a small percentage of higher earners - the top 10% pay almost 60% of tax.