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Original poster

ds has refused his first 2 days of year 7

307 replies

dinosaursroars · 03/09/2026 11:37

my ds was due to start year 7 yesterday, he’s got asd but no ehcp which i was already concerned about

i don’t drive so he was going to to with his older brother (y10) on the bus but he wasn’t starting until today so I tried to take him yesterday but was also with my baby in the pushchair and my 5yo.

he got ready and everything but when we were walking to the bus stop he kept saying he didn’t want to go and was getting upset and tried to run in the road and it just wasnt safe as it was just me and also trying to keep an eye on my younger children so i gave in and we went home which probbaly wasnt great

Today I had to do the school run for my 5yo so couldn’t take him in and he was going to go with his brother as planned but he just wouldn’t get dressed he kept saying things like he wanted his old school and he didnt want to start a new school etc so again i gave in as he was going to make my other children late

have phones the school and the head of year 7 is supposed to call me today but hasn’t yet

I just feel like a failure already i was already worried about him going to school and how he’d cope but not actually getting him there i didnt think this would be the issue

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 03/09/2026 11:57

I would think that getting an EHCP sorted would be priority. It sounds like he needs more support from the school and an EHCP is part of the process of getting that sorted. Was he able to manage in primary school without an EHCP? Did they give him any extra support?

It sounds like he needs a plan for how to dial down his anxiety around a new school and new routines. Have you had any support from anyone around how to do this for a child with autism? How to manage change?

redskyAtNigh · 03/09/2026 11:57

I agree I would take him in late. The longer he doesn't go in, the worse it will get. Can you get someone to look after the baby and younger children tomorrow, so that you can give getting him into school your full attention?

Peoplemakemedespair · 03/09/2026 11:56

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Hoork · 03/09/2026 11:54

Maybe you can ask the school if his brother can walk him to his first class, let him know where he’ll be at break ect. So he has someone to go to if he’s alone or has any questions?

Newusername0 · 03/09/2026 11:52

You have presumably dropped the 5yo off now. So just have the baby and DS? If so, I would take him in late. Even if just to have a f2f conversation with head of Y7 or suggest he just goes to 1 class today whilst you wait etc… try and get him there.

Balloonhearts · 03/09/2026 11:51

Year 7? Seriously? He's what 10/11? He doesn't get a say in whether he goes to school. He does as he's damn well told, even if I had to drag him there by the bloody ear.

Discipline him. Running in the road wouldn't have occurred to me as my mum would have walloped my arse in front of all my new schoolmate for pulling that sort of shit.

Meadowfinch · 03/09/2026 11:42

It sounds like he is worried about the change rather than school as a concept.

Is there a friend moving up with him? Can you have a chat with their mum, meet up at your house and all walk in together? The other child will already have done two days so will know where to go and what to do, so can show him the ropes.

Or wait for the head of year to call and suggest something. Don't worry, he'll be fine, he just needs to get over the hurdle of the first day.

You haven't failed, it's just a hiccup.