AIBU to feel hurt my adult son forgot my birthday

Hi Op, I hope you enjoyed your birthday Please make sure you do nothing for his birthday. If you tell him why I am sure he will remember next year. Do not send him any money until he apologises..

I have no idea when my mother’s birthday is. June or July I think. I’m just bad with dates

I once forgot my Mum's birthday - I cried when I realised because I felt so bad. It was a difficult time in my life, which is why I forgot but still, I felt awful.

That being said, I there is a big disparity in how people view birthdays. I think you should explain to him that you are hurt and whilst you don't expect a massive fuss, some acknowledgment and consideration would be nice.

I respectfully disagree, it is not par for the course and it’s not ok. My two late teen/adult children have never forgotten my birthday - even when on the other side of the world.
if he is usually kind and considerate I would talk to him and explain that you are hurt, and I’m sure he’ll be mortified. If this is a pattern of behaviour then perhaps a more ‘treat him as he treats you’ approach would be a good idea. I’m pretty sure he’ll soon get the message then!

I once forgot my Mum's birthday. My daughter is somewhat patchy although she'll send a text if she didn't get organised with a card. I'd tell him you expect him to remember your birthday. And maybe be a bit slow about sorting out money for him. I hope you had a lovely day anyway op. (It's perfectly acceptable to remind him a week before that you expect a card).

My adult son is the same, has been for years. So now l dont bother with his birthday, l dont expect much a call on the day would be fine. It is hurtful l agree.
Apart from birthdays we have a good relationship he just isn't bothered with cards and messages and honestly and dosent seem to understand why anyone else is.
My daughter is all over birthdays as she loves them herself, l suppose its just different people.

He's immersed in being a young person overseas, and not giving a thought to his home or his mum. In one way that's a sign that he's grown up confident and secure. But hurtful on occasions like this. Hopefully as he matures, he will value his relationships differently and realise that other people's feelings matter.

He's been really thoughtless. I think you should tell him how you feel, particularly as he has messaged asking for more money! Young adults can be very selfish, they have to learn how to think of others even if that means 'dutiful' things like remembering birthdays. Sometimes they only learn by others telling them they have cocked up.
He may probably have not intended to be so thoughtless, it could have been a case of 'brain did not engage ', but it won't do him any harm to learn how you feel.

Par for the course at this age I’m afraid. I wouldn’t take it as an indication that he doesn’t care. I usually say to DC in advance of my birthday that I hope they haven’t forgotten and I’d really like a card! Usually works, but not always