AIBU to consider quitting my job?

You mention nursery pickup at 3pm so I assume it’s a school nursery? Could you find a different nursery that is open longer to give you more focused work hours?

I work full time in a demanding professional job, and have no family or other help at all. I rely on paid childcare to make it work - private nursery while my child was little, then after school and full-day holiday clubs once he started school. I don’t have a cleaner but that would be the next thing I would outsource if I felt it was necessary. I would also consider things like meal kit deliveries like Hello Fresh, or gardening services.

I would never ever give up my job unless literally all other avenues have been explored and found not to alleviate the load.

Probably not the best idea if they want a second child unless the DH takes the lion's share of the parental leave - otherwise they'd have one on PT wage and one on maternity pay for a good while.

Can you move to a different less stressful job or your DH? I would be very very slow to give up work altogether. Everyday there are loads of people trapped in marriages where they have given up work to be a stay at home parent and for whatever reason the marriage is awful but they are trapped as they cannot afford to leave.

Don't give up your job. You'll also be giving up on your pension, your financial independence and your ability to leave should your husband take a shine to the attractive young new starter at his place.

I know that sounds really harsh but there are a number of women who post on here trapped in that exact situation because they didn't ever expect to find themselves in that position.

Do not give up your job. If you have to apply for another less stressful role that is not a problem particularly as you want another child However, I wouldn’t advise any woman to completely stop work

We both earned similar so myself and my husband both went part time and shared the childcare and housework between us.

The cons are that you can feel like a tag team but then you’ll likely be spending as much time together as you are currently now you’re both working full time.

A major con would be losing pension contributions too, not just daily money.
I'd be wary of it.

Does your husband have the kind of role where he could go part time instead?

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Please do not give up your job . Outsource as much as you can : childminder to pick up/ drop off , cleaner, on line shopping. Do not give up your financial independence . Apply for other jobs maybe .

Have you spoken to your husband? How secure is his job? Will being the sole earner put excess pressure on him?

The trouble is OP that the difference between a full-on fulfilling and difficult job and no job at all is HUGE.

I strongly recommend you find some way to still work as you clearly like your job and have put a lot into your career.

can your husband go part time?

So your current job can't be done PT but that doesn't mean the alternative is to become a SAHM. Look for a better role.

What job or industry are you in?

Could independent contracting be an option on a project basis to keep your skills up but give you greater control over your time?

I was in a similar position, I stayed at work, I regret that deeply. I did quit when they were both in the juniors, and life was so much better. When they asked why don't we go skiiing anymore etc, I said if you want I can go back to work and we will have a lot more money, they both said no every time the question came up.
I did go back to work when they were teenagers and looking back, I wish I had not. Currently trying to retire early, but have to see my current projects through, but if I could change things I would not have gone back to work after having the kids and when they were teens, and would have been more present and better able to take care of my health.

Is your job the sort of thing you could pick back up?
I stopped work when I had DD (and subsequently DS) and as they started school I picked up some freelance work and then ramped it up as they got older. Now I am back at the top of my game BUT I am SE and in a different career but I earn more than I would have if I had just stayed where I was I imagine.
I never thought I would pause my career but I don't regret it for a second and I have some really fond memories of Primary school days with both my DC
Its not for everyone and only you know how it could affect you long term but I really enjoyed it and DH was 100% behind me

I definitely wouldn’t quit in this economy. Your DH could be made redundant and it’s likely you would find it difficult to get a new role as the market is tough out there for senior roles. If you can manage on one income you can afford to outsource all cleaning, laundry and even a good chunk of cooking. You can even get a virtual PA to help you for a few hours a week so all you really need to do is work and spend time with your child. I would try all that before quitting.

I wouldn’t give up work. It sounds like you’ll barely have enough to live on with one salary. Being a SAHM would be no fun if you haven’t money to go out and do things, have no money to buy clothes, wondering if you can afford to go to the hairdressers. It may sound easy but is far from it if you suddenly go from being able to afford treats and holidays and the suddenly have to cut back, Your DH will probably come to resent lack of money too. What happens if the bickering with your DH turns larger scale and you decide to separate down the line ? Job market is horrendous at the moment.

I’d stay where you are for now but look into finding a new job or something part-time.

Don’t give up your job.

I say that as someone who has been a SAHM all my adult life.

Your child will be older before you know it. Keep your career and your own life.

Pay for a housekeeper a couple of days a week or something. But don’t give up your life to cook, clean and look after your child.

I wouldn't give up work altogether personally as I would hate to feel vulnerable. Can you change to a part time job in a related field, sort of keeping one foot in the door incase you ever want to return to your current position.

Can you tell us what you do, see if anyone has any suggestions?

I am never going to advise or actively encourage a working woman to give up her job no matter what. I have known far too many women who have stopped work and then found themselves in vulnerable positions. Either their DHs have become ill, been made redundant or (the most common) have decided to leave their wives high and dry. Years down the line ime, the exHs are doing just fine whereas the exWs have never fully recovered.

You make the decisions that you need to make on behalf of yourself & your family, before you jeopardise your hard earned career. I would suggest you look for alternatives to alleviate the immediate pressures. Obviously the decisions are yours to make, but be sure that you make them with your eyes open and focused on the long term, not just the immediate pressures.

Sounds like you just need a different job that doesn’t have work needs out of hours to be honest

Working PT may not be possible in your role but it doesn't mean you should stop working. Your child will go to school and you will either turn into a full-time cleaner or be pulling your hair out during the day. Let's face it, you won't have enough money to get an exciting hobby or anything. Is that the life you envisioned for yourself?
Not to mention the long-term hit you take with your income, pension. Plus the additional financial stress of having a second child and no maternity pay. It's not looking good for me personally.
I would look into adjacent careers where you can continue working part time. Maybe at a lower level that you are now but still keeping your hand in the industry as well as keeping some financial security for yourself should anything happen to your husband.

Outsource as much as you can like cleaning /washing/ironing/food before you quit.

What happens if in 6 months your husband is made redundant.