Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not refund this £2k

187 replies

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 10:32

NC for this as it’s identifying.

I organise women’s retreats. The next one is abroad at the end of September (Mediterranean).

The retreat sold out 6 months ago and I had a big waiting list with lots of women contacting me saying to get in touch if there is a cancellation.

One of the guests has cancelled - she had one of the biggest private en-suite rooms so her place was expensive (£2k). Her reason for cancelling isn’t an emergency and something she will have known about for a while.

I thought I’d be able to fill her place quite easily and have contacted everyone on the waiting list but nobody can make it now.

The cancellation policy is no refund within a month of the retreat. She cancelled 29 days before the retreat starts.

She wants a full refund but I am going to really struggle to fill her place at such short notice.

The retreat is organised by a not-for-profit women’s org. Everything is priced to break even so the org will have to make a £2k loss. It is a tiny org funded by donations and run by volunteers so this is a huge loss for the org.

On the other hand I feel dreadful not offering a refund.

AIBU not to refund it?

OP posts:
Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 12:03

Our cancellation policy just says no refunds within a month of the start date and doesn’t specify the number of days.

OP posts:
Itsasecretnow · 02/09/2026 12:03

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 11:59

She booked 20 November last year.

Cancelled last Saturday (29 August)

Retreat starts 27 September.

Show quote history

But which is specified in the t&c? One calendar month or 28 days. Or does it just say one month? If so I can see that it might add to the confusion as obviously each month is a different length.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 12:01

It always bugs me in Homes Under The Hammer when they ask an estate agent to value the finished result for rental purposes, and every single time, they say "£X per calendar month" - often saying the word 'calendar' several times in the same sentence. I suppose they must just have been burned before and now err on the side of irritation!

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 11:59

Spirallingdownwards · 02/09/2026 11:50

As quoted above one calendar month from the date booked. So if 14 March then 13 April would be the last day of that month.

Show quote history

She booked 20 November last year.

Cancelled last Saturday (29 August)

Retreat starts 27 September.

OP posts:
BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 11:57

Why ever should OP be put to all the work, hassle and stress of finding a new buyer for the place, just because the original purchaser changed her mind? Is her own time not worth anything?

The buyer chose to buy something expensive, then left it too late to cancel within the agreed terms, so it's hard cheese. She can of course try to resell it herself, or if OP IS able to find a buyer, she might be lucky to get her money back less a fee for all of the admin involved (also, as a last-minute availability, it might need to be sold off much more cheaply).

I agree that the definition of a 'month' should be explicitly stated, as they obviously vary slightly in length, and an awful lot of people seem to be of the firm belief that '4 weeks = a month' (rather than just 3 out of every 48); even the NHS seems to believe this when they prescribe 56 days' worth of medication to supposedly last you for two months.

PoliteRaven · 02/09/2026 11:55

Mumtotornadoes · 02/09/2026 10:38

Entirely depends on the contract. Does it say "a calender month" or "28 days"

She's obviously made the 28 day deadline. But if it's a calendar month has she made that?

Does the contract specify what reasons they can cancel for? If not, it doesn't matter why she's cancelling

Very interesting point - I'd never thought about it before - a quick Google also told me that in Common Law a month used to mean a lunar month (28 days).

Mischance · 02/09/2026 11:55

Mumtotornadoes · 02/09/2026 10:38

Entirely depends on the contract. Does it say "a calender month" or "28 days"

She's obviously made the 28 day deadline. But if it's a calendar month has she made that?

Does the contract specify what reasons they can cancel for? If not, it doesn't matter why she's cancelling

Indeed - defining what a month means in the contract will be crucial.

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 11:52

itsalltoplayfor · 02/09/2026 11:45

Could the vicar shagging commentators please shuffle off to the right place which isn't here on a thread about a retreat in the Med!

Unless they need to talk it through in therapy on a women’s retreat in the Med - in that case I can help 😊

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 02/09/2026 11:50

Huckleberries · 02/09/2026 11:32

@RefundOrNot the key thing here is the number of days

The contract can’t just say “ a month” because what is a month?

As quoted above one calendar month from the date booked. So if 14 March then 13 April would be the last day of that month.

Spidermandino · 02/09/2026 11:48

I would say that I can only give a refund if we can sell it in. If not then no refund I’m afraid.

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 11:47

Hectorsmother · 02/09/2026 11:34

It is clever solution finding like this that makes me so happy to be on Mumsnet!

Show quote history

Me too! It’s a great suggestion. I know one of the women in a private room with a shared bathroom was hoping for an en-suite so if I can sell her private room she will be delighted with the upgrade.

I’ve had a couple of messages on here so I’m hopeful I will be able to sell the place after all. Love Mumsnet!

OP posts:
itsalltoplayfor · 02/09/2026 11:45

Could the vicar shagging commentators please shuffle off to the right place which isn't here on a thread about a retreat in the Med!

WerewolfOfLoudon · 02/09/2026 11:43

Mumtotornadoes · 02/09/2026 11:37

Somebody somewhere has definitely shagged a vicar on their kitchen sofa.

Show quote history

A few vicar's wives.

WerewolfOfLoudon · 02/09/2026 11:42

Huckleberries · 02/09/2026 11:32

@RefundOrNot the key thing here is the number of days

The contract can’t just say “ a month” because what is a month?

If the booking is for the 25th of September then cancellation is a month before so before 25th of August. A month is the calendar month, if booking was 31st of March it would need cancelled by the last day of the month before 28th of February. In no circumstances is a booking cancellation accepted in the same calendar month.

@RefundOrNot You might need to be specific in your terms going forward, by the full calendar month plus one day prior to booking date, so by 24th for a 25th booking the following month, and don't make any bookings ever in March for the hard of understanding. Someone paying £2k knows what a month is, pay day is usually the same date every month.

Mumtotornadoes · 02/09/2026 11:37

MelonSorbet · 02/09/2026 10:58

You know that nobody actually shagged a vicar on their kitchen sofa, right?!

Show quote history

Somebody somewhere has definitely shagged a vicar on their kitchen sofa.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 11:36

Hectorsmother · 02/09/2026 11:34

It is clever solution finding like this that makes me so happy to be on Mumsnet!

Show quote history

Or you just sell the room at a discount.

At this late stage they’re not that likely to rebook even at the lower price.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 11:34

Huckleberries · 02/09/2026 11:32

@RefundOrNot the key thing here is the number of days

The contract can’t just say “ a month” because what is a month?

Exactly.

Hectorsmother · 02/09/2026 11:34

fancytoes · 02/09/2026 10:40

Offer a free upgrade to the other partipants and see if you can sell theirs if cheaper and more likely to get a new taker? Then offer the partial refund to the lady?

It is clever solution finding like this that makes me so happy to be on Mumsnet!

Aluna · 02/09/2026 11:33

For late cancellations after the refund window has closed I say: no refund unless I can rebook in which case she gets back the total minus 20% admin fee.

Huckleberries · 02/09/2026 11:32

@RefundOrNot the key thing here is the number of days

The contract can’t just say “ a month” because what is a month?

Aluna · 02/09/2026 11:32

Does the contract stipulate the number of days? 30 days you’re ok, 28 you’re not.

nomas · 02/09/2026 11:23

LittleGreenShoots · 02/09/2026 10:44

I agree the refund now has to be conditional on someone else taking the place and paying.

I would discuss options with them for them to help resell (if appropriate) and to potentially offer the place at reduced cost if no initial takers to be able to offer a partial refund.

I would set her expectations from the start that it's very unlikely that anyone would fill the place at such short notice.

She is very cheeky to be expecting a full refund. Your cancellation policy is extremely fair. Here is the cancellation charges I was liable for a holiday I went on:

90 days or More - 15% of Holiday cost
89 to 36 days - The greater of 90% of holiday cost
35 days or less - 100% of holiday cost

I think you should look to move to this staggered approach, OP.

PangaBanga · 02/09/2026 11:22

I am now here for the vicar. Is it a lady vicar at the all female retreat or a trans vicar, or what?

LlynTegid · 02/09/2026 11:18

If you can get someone to take the place, even at a discount, then pass on that income as a refund.

Switchnow · 02/09/2026 11:14

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 11:05

There are different priced rooms. Sharing a twin is a lot cheaper and we are able to subsidise some women with donations. The woman who cancelled wasn’t subsidised.

The retreats offers 1:1 psychotherapy and bodywork and it’s for women overcoming trauma or emotional distress so the cost of the therapists is high. It’s a very naice venue but they give us a charity discount.

Show quote history

Sounds really nice! I do wonder if you need to up your non subsidised prices if one drop out can have that impact.