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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not refund this £2k

187 replies

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 10:32

NC for this as it’s identifying.

I organise women’s retreats. The next one is abroad at the end of September (Mediterranean).

The retreat sold out 6 months ago and I had a big waiting list with lots of women contacting me saying to get in touch if there is a cancellation.

One of the guests has cancelled - she had one of the biggest private en-suite rooms so her place was expensive (£2k). Her reason for cancelling isn’t an emergency and something she will have known about for a while.

I thought I’d be able to fill her place quite easily and have contacted everyone on the waiting list but nobody can make it now.

The cancellation policy is no refund within a month of the retreat. She cancelled 29 days before the retreat starts.

She wants a full refund but I am going to really struggle to fill her place at such short notice.

The retreat is organised by a not-for-profit women’s org. Everything is priced to break even so the org will have to make a £2k loss. It is a tiny org funded by donations and run by volunteers so this is a huge loss for the org.

On the other hand I feel dreadful not offering a refund.

AIBU not to refund it?

OP posts:
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 15:26

I’ve had some great advice on this thread - thank you! I am going to try and sell the remaining place for 50% discount and give the woman a partial refund. That feels fair.

To answer a few questions (this is outing but never mind) the women’s org is a Community Interest Company called Sisters Heal. I’m a volunteer. All the Directors are volunteers - nobody gets paid apart from the therapists.

I volunteer because I feel really strongly that women who have survived trauma or who are struggling with emotional distress should have access to single sex support. We subsidise 1:1 counselling and offer lots of free and low cost therapies. The retreats give women the opportunity to get away and access professional support.

I’ve had lots of DM’s from this thread which I wasn’t expecting! But I have sent everyone the booking link and a code to get a 50% discount. If the place hasn’t been filled by tomorrow I will post the discount code on the thread.

Hoping some divine intervention will help the right woman find this retreat ✨

OP posts:
HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 15:02

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 14:57

Yes, good point. But OP says that SHE organises them - not that she works for a big company that does this - so I inferred from that that it was a one-woman effort and not a huge concern that has a massive turnover but just doesn't actually officially make a profit. I may have got that wrong, of course.

Sorry, there is one lady, famous on Instagram, who is also running a non-for-profit horse-riding holidays to Asia. It is a one-woman effort. Not a massive turnover, does not officially make a profit. Just paying a huge salary to herself, huge (compared to locals) salaries to her Asian staff in Asia, everybody loves her, they are all rolling in it, thanks for this non-profit wellbeing organisation. Occasionally she runs women-only holidays too. All I was saying is that 'not for profit' means nothing.

Quercus5 · 02/09/2026 15:02

I have had to cancel a few things this summer due to a flare in a fluctuating illness. On one of them I lost all my money, which was around £1000. Yes it hurts, but as long as the Ts&Cs were made clear at the time of booking I don’t begrudge the organisations at all for following them.

YANBU for holding firm.

Pherian · 02/09/2026 14:59

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 10:32

NC for this as it’s identifying.

I organise women’s retreats. The next one is abroad at the end of September (Mediterranean).

The retreat sold out 6 months ago and I had a big waiting list with lots of women contacting me saying to get in touch if there is a cancellation.

One of the guests has cancelled - she had one of the biggest private en-suite rooms so her place was expensive (£2k). Her reason for cancelling isn’t an emergency and something she will have known about for a while.

I thought I’d be able to fill her place quite easily and have contacted everyone on the waiting list but nobody can make it now.

The cancellation policy is no refund within a month of the retreat. She cancelled 29 days before the retreat starts.

She wants a full refund but I am going to really struggle to fill her place at such short notice.

The retreat is organised by a not-for-profit women’s org. Everything is priced to break even so the org will have to make a £2k loss. It is a tiny org funded by donations and run by volunteers so this is a huge loss for the org.

On the other hand I feel dreadful not offering a refund.

AIBU not to refund it?

If she cancelled before the deadline then you need to refund it. If she hasn’t then you don’t. It’s really simple. She should be given the opportunity to change the name in the reservation to someone else though if within your policy.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 14:57

HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 14:42

Non-for-profit orgs can pay multi-million compensation packages to their employees, all 'non-for-profit' means is that they don't have to make a profit, that is all.

Yes, good point. But OP says that SHE organises them - not that she works for a big company that does this - so I inferred from that that it was a one-woman effort and not a huge concern that has a massive turnover but just doesn't actually officially make a profit. I may have got that wrong, of course.

SleeplessRoads · 02/09/2026 14:56

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/09/2026 14:17

To be even more pedantic, we're not in February 😀

Did the contract say which month? Maybe she wanted to give a February in a leap year’s notice ;)

Mulledjuice · 02/09/2026 14:51

carkey26 · 02/09/2026 14:24

I think because it's unclear and could be interpreted as 28 days you'll need to give her the refund. I suspect she would be able to challenge it legally if not.

how could it be interpreted as 28 days?

are you the letting agent of my first home who said monthly rent would be "4 times what we said the weekly rent would be"?

caringcarer · 02/09/2026 14:45

I'd tell her she's missed deadline for full refund but you can offer her the cost of her food £100. Tell her if she can sell her place on you will accept a new person. In future you need to build in a small margin and be specific x number of days.

Dery · 02/09/2026 14:42

@RefundOrNot : month will be understood as calendar month, not lunar month (litigation solicitor here). The alternative would be to say 28 days. She is out of time. I agree with PPs that you may want to taper your cancellation repayments.

HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 14:42

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 13:54

Not-for-profit makes it clear that potentially losing the money is a much bigger deal and far less sustainable for them than it would if it were, say, Tesco or Amazon.

Also, I suppose by saying that it's a women's org, that shows that 49% of the population instantly wouldn't be eligible to buy the ticket on a resale basis, so that makes it twice as hard to find a new buyer as if it were available/suitable for everybody.

Non-for-profit orgs can pay multi-million compensation packages to their employees, all 'non-for-profit' means is that they don't have to make a profit, that is all.

JudgeJ · 02/09/2026 14:36

Melarus · 02/09/2026 11:07

It'll keep the costs down, at least - you'll only need five loaves, two fish and 5,000 slices of fruitcake

And a randy Vicar if you have a kitchen sofa!

AnonyMumAuDHD · 02/09/2026 14:35

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:08

Just to note - ime when people cancel last minute for not very strong reasons - when they find out they won’t get a refund they often decide to go after all or offer it to a friend.

Edited

Agree with this. People think you can fill the place or that they can get a refund from you. Unless she has had a family disaster/broken a limb etc (in which case travel insurance or her credit card might actually cover it anyway), then she will have to suck this up… or come.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:34

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 14:24

Yes, this. She's painting herself as the poor victim, but in reality, she may have just booked it on a whim all that time ago, as a vague possibility if she still fancied it at the time, and set herself a reminder to cancel it if not, but then got her dates a bit out.

If she hadn't booked it for herself, other people who were serious could have had 10 months to come forward for it, and save up for it.

Exactly. One couple told me they couldn’t take their holiday as they were getting divorced. When they discovered they were outside the cancellation window, suddenly the marriage was back on and so was the holiday!

AnonyMumAuDHD · 02/09/2026 14:32

Contractually she isn’t entitled to a refund. I’d reply to confirm this, but say you are trying to come up with ways to mitigate her loss so any help she can give would be appreciated? The free upgrade - perhaps to anyone already coming who can get someone to take their cheaper room/package? - is a great idea as posted above.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 14:24

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:08

Just to note - ime when people cancel last minute for not very strong reasons - when they find out they won’t get a refund they often decide to go after all or offer it to a friend.

Edited

Yes, this. She's painting herself as the poor victim, but in reality, she may have just booked it on a whim all that time ago, as a vague possibility if she still fancied it at the time, and set herself a reminder to cancel it if not, but then got her dates a bit out.

If she hadn't booked it for herself, other people who were serious could have had 10 months to come forward for it, and save up for it.

carkey26 · 02/09/2026 14:24

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 12:03

Our cancellation policy just says no refunds within a month of the start date and doesn’t specify the number of days.

I think because it's unclear and could be interpreted as 28 days you'll need to give her the refund. I suspect she would be able to challenge it legally if not.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/09/2026 14:23

PoliteRaven · 02/09/2026 11:55

Very interesting point - I'd never thought about it before - a quick Google also told me that in Common Law a month used to mean a lunar month (28 days).

Nah - it's a calendar month. Forget common law, it's the Interpretation Act 1978 where it's all at (one of my favourite pieces of legislation, saddo geek that I am)

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/09/2026 14:17

SleeplessRoads · 02/09/2026 10:49

Well to be pedantic, every four years 29 days is exactly a month…

To be even more pedantic, we're not in February 😀

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:10

AgnesMcDoo · 02/09/2026 14:06

Except that it’s not.

If the law of the country in which the contract applies state a month = a calendar month, then that applies.

But cancellations can be contentious, so it’s best to have the number of days absolutely clear to the client, so at least there’s no arguing about that.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:08

Just to note - ime when people cancel last minute for not very strong reasons - when they find out they won’t get a refund they often decide to go after all or offer it to a friend.

AgnesMcDoo · 02/09/2026 14:06

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:02

Which is open to interpretation by the guest which is why leisure contracts generally state the number of days as it’s clearer.

Except that it’s not.

Ponderingwindow · 02/09/2026 14:05

I work at a non-profit. Remember that you can’t continue your mission and serve the people you want to serve if you don’t have the money.

Shittyyear2025 · 02/09/2026 14:03

fancytoes · 02/09/2026 10:40

Offer a free upgrade to the other partipants and see if you can sell theirs if cheaper and more likely to get a new taker? Then offer the partial refund to the lady?

This!

Re-advertise that a place has become available but not at what price point. Match a room to the budget that the new person enquiries at. Everyone above that gets an upgrade, releasing the space for the new person.

Cancelee gets a refund of the difference minus admin costs (because of all the faff, and as a gesture of goodwill)

Aluna · 02/09/2026 14:02

AgnesMcDoo · 02/09/2026 13:57

But she hasn’t said any of those things.

she said a month.

Which is open to interpretation by the guest which is why leisure contracts generally state the number of days as it’s clearer.

MeridaBrave · 02/09/2026 13:58

I’d explain that she missed the month deadline and so it’s dependent on selling the room and explain no one wants it at £2k. Explain it will be a loss for the charity. Ask she’s like to find someone or you can ask the waiting list people if they will pay for a smaller room and she can have a partial refund. Can also also existing participants if they would like to upgrade for a fee.

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