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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not refund this £2k

187 replies

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 10:32

NC for this as it’s identifying.

I organise women’s retreats. The next one is abroad at the end of September (Mediterranean).

The retreat sold out 6 months ago and I had a big waiting list with lots of women contacting me saying to get in touch if there is a cancellation.

One of the guests has cancelled - she had one of the biggest private en-suite rooms so her place was expensive (£2k). Her reason for cancelling isn’t an emergency and something she will have known about for a while.

I thought I’d be able to fill her place quite easily and have contacted everyone on the waiting list but nobody can make it now.

The cancellation policy is no refund within a month of the retreat. She cancelled 29 days before the retreat starts.

She wants a full refund but I am going to really struggle to fill her place at such short notice.

The retreat is organised by a not-for-profit women’s org. Everything is priced to break even so the org will have to make a £2k loss. It is a tiny org funded by donations and run by volunteers so this is a huge loss for the org.

On the other hand I feel dreadful not offering a refund.

AIBU not to refund it?

OP posts:
Original poster
RefundOrNot · 03/09/2026 09:08

Seajaye · 03/09/2026 07:00

Stick to the contractual refund terms and conditions of booking. If you enter the realms of sympathetic partial refunds and/or goodwill gestures you could find yourself in the small claims court.

It's a business transaction after all. You could inform her that she can try resell her place if she can find an eligible participant to attend in her place, assuming that's within the booking terms and conditions .

It’s trying to balance the business head with the compassionate, human side too. It is such a lot of money for her to lose and the stress of not getting a refund will do the exact opposite of what a healing retreat is supposed to do.

It is very late in the day and very annoying but when women are dealing with trauma and mental health issues sometimes these things happen.

OP posts:
Seajaye · 03/09/2026 07:00

Stick to the contractual refund terms and conditions of booking. If you enter the realms of sympathetic partial refunds and/or goodwill gestures you could find yourself in the small claims court.

It's a business transaction after all. You could inform her that she can try resell her place if she can find an eligible participant to attend in her place, assuming that's within the booking terms and conditions .

Switchnow · 03/09/2026 01:10

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 15:26

I’ve had some great advice on this thread - thank you! I am going to try and sell the remaining place for 50% discount and give the woman a partial refund. That feels fair.

To answer a few questions (this is outing but never mind) the women’s org is a Community Interest Company called Sisters Heal. I’m a volunteer. All the Directors are volunteers - nobody gets paid apart from the therapists.

I volunteer because I feel really strongly that women who have survived trauma or who are struggling with emotional distress should have access to single sex support. We subsidise 1:1 counselling and offer lots of free and low cost therapies. The retreats give women the opportunity to get away and access professional support.

I’ve had lots of DM’s from this thread which I wasn’t expecting! But I have sent everyone the booking link and a code to get a 50% discount. If the place hasn’t been filled by tomorrow I will post the discount code on the thread.

Hoping some divine intervention will help the right woman find this retreat ✨

It looks like a beautiful retreat, I hope you manage to sell the place so someone else can benefit.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 22:13

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 20:29

Then why update the terms if they're so clear and watertight?

Show quote history

For clarity.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 02/09/2026 20:53

Dery · 02/09/2026 20:02

“RefundOrNot · Today 16:16
Cosyblankets · Today 16:10
Surely if you've updated terms then you agree that "a month" is ambiguous and therefore she should be refunded
Show quote history
I do agree - which is why I started the AIBU. I think a 50% refund is the fairest solution if I can sell the room at a 50% discount 🤞”

@RefundOrNot - month is not ambiguous. I’m a dispute resolution lawyer and familiar with the debates. If this went to court, month would be construed as calendar month. No harm in stating number of days (though i think 28 days is preferable to 30 as it makes for clearer counting).

Yes, even to a layperson, that period of time couldn't reasonably be construed in any way as constituting a month.

By dotting the Is and crossing the Ts, it just protects you even more securely from people who are trying it on and closes any loopholes that they could conceivably imagine to try to catch you out.

Just like when manufacturers of peanuts started adding warnings to the packets that 'this product contains nuts' - no half-reasonable person could ever have doubted or quibbled that obvious fact, but they wanted to protect themselves from shameless CF chancers who were determined to invent an excuse (however tenuous) to take them to the cleaners.

AmnesiacsDream · 02/09/2026 20:41

PoliteRaven · 02/09/2026 11:55

Very interesting point - I'd never thought about it before - a quick Google also told me that in Common Law a month used to mean a lunar month (28 days).

Show quote history

Pretty sure references to "month" in contracts are now defined by statute (Law of Property Act) as being a calendar month unless context requires a different interpretation.

I believe that courts have ruled that it's date to date (so something that needs to be done a month before September 2nd would need to be done by or on August 2nd) but not as sure of that.

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 20:29

Aluna · 02/09/2026 20:16

Has she actually said that though?

Ime people cancel knowing full well they’re out of time but hope you’ll give them a refund anyway.

I started on the thread thinking there may be some ambiguity given the wording but the lawyers are clear that the legal definition is watertight in U.K. law.

It would be for the client to ask for clarification if need be - she booked this nearly a year ago. She’s had plenty of time to cancel if she thought she couldn’t make it.

What she’s done is sit on something she wasn’t committed and then cancel when it’s highly unlikely to get rebooked. That’s unfair on the organisation and unfair on another client who might have liked the slot with more notice.

Edited
Show quote history

Then why update the terms if they're so clear and watertight?

Grumpyoldcat · 02/09/2026 20:23

If those are your terms then its all legal. You have tried to fill it and cant so its tough luck.

Aluna · 02/09/2026 20:16

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 19:56

No it's not fair. You accept that a month isn't clear so she could have taken it one way and thought she was covered. It's not her fault you were not clear

Show quote history

Has she actually said that though?

Ime people cancel knowing full well they’re out of time but hope you’ll give them a refund anyway.

I started on the thread thinking there may be some ambiguity given the wording but the lawyers are clear that the legal definition is watertight in U.K. law.

It would be for the client to ask for clarification if need be - she booked this nearly a year ago. She’s had plenty of time to cancel if she thought she couldn’t make it.

What she’s done is sit on something she wasn’t committed and then cancel when it’s highly unlikely to get rebooked. That’s unfair on the organisation and unfair on another client who might have liked the slot with more notice.

Dery · 02/09/2026 20:02

“RefundOrNot · Today 16:16
Cosyblankets · Today 16:10
Surely if you've updated terms then you agree that "a month" is ambiguous and therefore she should be refunded
Show quote history
I do agree - which is why I started the AIBU. I think a 50% refund is the fairest solution if I can sell the room at a 50% discount 🤞”

@RefundOrNot - month is not ambiguous. I’m a dispute resolution lawyer and familiar with the debates. If this went to court, month would be construed as calendar month. No harm in stating number of days (though i think 28 days is preferable to 30 as it makes for clearer counting).

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 19:56

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 16:16

I do agree - which is why I started the AIBU. I think a 50% refund is the fairest solution if I can sell the room at a 50% discount 🤞

Show quote history

No it's not fair. You accept that a month isn't clear so she could have taken it one way and thought she was covered. It's not her fault you were not clear

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 19:30

Just giving this a little bump. Would love the discounted place to go to a Mumsnetter.

OP posts:
nomas · 02/09/2026 17:07

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 17:03

Not sold out @nomas! The private en-suite studio (Virtue) is the room available

Oh sorry my bad, I see it now. Sounds like a very good deal.

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 17:03

Not sold out @nomas! The private en-suite studio (Virtue) is the room available

OP posts:
nomas · 02/09/2026 16:41

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Wow, looks like you are sold out! That’s great news.

Was it an anonymous MNer who signed up? That’s so cool, I hope they have a great time (and everyone else of course).

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 02/09/2026 16:38

Best of luck!

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 16:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 16:16

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 16:10

Surely if you've updated terms then you agree that "a month" is ambiguous and therefore she should be refunded

Show quote history

I do agree - which is why I started the AIBU. I think a 50% refund is the fairest solution if I can sell the room at a 50% discount 🤞

OP posts:
Livpool · 02/09/2026 16:11

Good luck OP. This woman is chancing it, with no refund she may decide to come anyway.

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2026 16:10

RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 16:04

I have updated the cancellation policy so it says 30 days https://sistersheal.co.uk/cancellation-policy/

Surely if you've updated terms then you agree that "a month" is ambiguous and therefore she should be refunded

Marieb19 · 02/09/2026 16:07

See if you can resell/auction her place at a heavy discount. You could then refund her the reduced amount.

Daffodilsinthespring · 02/09/2026 16:06

Does the contract say calendar month or 4 weeks? Unless it says calendar month, she is with the time limit.

Original poster
RefundOrNot · 02/09/2026 16:04

I have updated the cancellation policy so it says 30 days https://sistersheal.co.uk/cancellation-policy/

OP posts:
Aluna · 02/09/2026 15:50

This retreat is in the med thus U.K. law may not be relevant.

Dery · 02/09/2026 15:35

@RefundOrNot - sorry: my initial message was perhaps a bit unclear.

Dery · Today 14:42
“month” will be understood as calendar month, not lunar month (litigation solicitor here). The alternative would be to say expressly 28 days. The word month will not be interpreted as 28 days; it will be interpreted as calendar month. On any reckoning she is out of time.

She is out of time. I agree with PPs that you may want to taper your cancellation repayments.

To be honest, i think the best thing of all would be to state a specific time and date by which any cancellation must be received. So for a trip starting on, say, 1 March 2027, you would say that notice of cancellation must be given by no later than 11.59 pm on 1 February 2027.