Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

My DM was a single mum and didn’t drive, so we never got driven anywhere! In fact she didn’t even walk us, we’d take ourselves off to Brownies or wherever on foot.

Is it though? I wouldn't have thought those comments performative because they would have just seemed normal to me.

No clubs other than brownies and later swimming lessons for me. My kids had swimming plus one other activity (in the nineties). My grandkids do about two each, martial arts and ballet type things.

I never went to clubs as I would have hated every second of it

I’m in my late 20s. I did quite a lot of hobbies growing up because I enjoyed trying as many new things as possible. Most of them (choir, drama, violin and singing lessons, sports etc) were in school and didn’t require me to be driven anywhere, I just stayed behind after school to do them or sometimes did them at lunch. The only thing I did outside of school was dance. I have no idea if most schools still offer the same extracurricular activities as my children haven’t reached that age yet, but if they don’t maybe that’s part of the problem as parents need to go elsewhere to give their children these opportunities.

I usually got a lift to/from hockey training one evening a week (my dad would alternate with a friend's mum) and I'd get dropped off for hockey matches on a Saturday morning, but I'd have to get the bus home. I was a goalkeeper so had a lot of kit to lug around.

Other things were in walking distance or at school - Guides, music lessons, after school sports, so no lifts needed or offered.

I'm from a large family and we had a low income, I went to majorettes a few times because my neighbour took me & that was it. No clubs or activities after school or in the holidays & my sisters & I played outdoors on our council estate & caused a bit of mischief here & there. My son went to football & as he got order cricket & I loved going along & watching him BUT I only had 1 child. I desperately wanted to learn to read music & play an instrument as a child but we didn't have the money & I ensured my son was offered anything he fancied but he was not interested. I remember at the time thinking how we as parents were in the position to provide our son with almost any opportunity after school & felt quite proud that we could do that even though he wasn't interested

I think some of it is performative patenting - there were a couple of stay at home mums in my DSs primary school who would talk about how run off their feet they were having to take Tarquin to Tuba and Hetty to hockey etc. etc. - the school provided after-school activities were never quite good enough.

I did a lot of sport in school, and would train after school then go home myself, and get a bus to weekend matches/competitions.

I loved going to clubs as a kid. But as my family were poor and I had to walk or get the bus, I went to all the clubs held in the local community centre or church hall. They were very cheap.

There are loads of kids in our town park with a football - they're just older. I'm not letting DS8 go on his own; there are some really strange people hanging about in parks.

Well we didn’t have a car, so no 🤷‍♀️ We either walked or got on a bus if we wanted to go anywhere. As did our friends.

I had lots of classes and clubs. I ferried myself on my bike.

I was. I'm 42. Started with ballet and Rainbows, then swimming and Brownies, then piano and Guides. I also did primary school netball and mum used to help with driving the team to away games.

DS did swimming and rugby for a bit but now just does football which is enough to be honest as it's a practice and a game every week plus summer tournaments.

YABU because in the old days, there were more things to do locally, i.e. within walking distance of home and it was normal just to do things you could do locally whether scouts/guides, youth club, sports, etc. Nowadays there's often nothing within walking distance of peoples' homes now we have all the sprawling edge of town housing estates and places like youth clubs/scouts etc have closed. Even things like armed forces and police cadets are located in out of town places like sports centres that you need to drive to because there are no buses in the evenings! People need to stop knocking modern children/parents and realise that everything has changed over the past few decades.

No, not at all. Walked to brownies/guides (on my own), took the bus to my art club at the weekend. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me or my parents to drive. They owned a car but it was rarely used - just for weekend outings or visiting relatives really. I think this was commonplace in the 70s and early 80s.

I only did rainbows/brownies and swimming outside of school. I did seem to do quite a lot of afterschool clubs at primary school...art, calligraphy, netball, recorder 😂.

We went to Brownies/Guides/Cubs at our parents instigation once a week and I played an instrument in school and joined the school band, on Saturdays I went to riding lessons which I asked for - we were usually busy enough with homework etc after school from what I remember! Dad usually had the car so minimal ferrying but did walk to the local church hall etc.

I did lots of hobbies - horse riding,.two instruments, dance, swimming. In the holidays I had tennis lessons and sailing lessons. I still felt like I had heaps of time to play and to relax

We didn't watch much TV though

My children's lives are similar. Tutors, several time consuming and enriching hobbies each. And plenty of time hanging out with friends too . Again. They don't watch a lot of TV or spend much time gaming /On phones. DS does find time to read a lot though.

There were six of us (5 girls, 1 boy). My f wouldn't have wasted his time or money on petrol to ferry us around, but he wouldn't have paid for clubs either. He regarded daughters as a pointless drain on his finances.

We all left at the first possible opportunity and never went back. 😁

I gladly drive my ds anywhere, I enjoy being with him.

I have always been wary of overexpecting children to do organised extracurricular activities but as a counterpoint the reality is that many would probably just end up sitting at home on their phones or tablets otherwise, so perhaps the activities are no bad thing overall.

I do wonder sometimes how such families fit in quality family time with parents working all day and kids out all evening and often a big chunk of the weekend too.

Basically from secondary age (11+) I got myself everywhere. Public transport, walked or bunked the train.

I look back and feel sad that my parents weren't very present in my teen years, other than to scold when I misbehaved (which I think was likely to try and get attention!)

But yes I do think some parents now have their kids doing far too many clubs.

I'm coming up 55, and first there was a twenty minute walk to the paddock, then an hours hack to the pony club meet. For pony club camp it was a three hour hack - I literally rode at dawn, LOL. That was one way, obviously, so double it for the round trip. Star and I didn't mind, it was generally more fun than what we were going to, and it meant that while everybody else's horses were going off their pony nuts freshly unloaded, we were nicely warmed up and calm.

Nope I’m 64, it was brownies and guides for me and I walked there myself from being 7 . Went to various dancing and swimming places from around 9 and caught the bus

I wasn't ferried all over the place my parents wouldn't take me too far, I had flute lessons and swimming lessons locally, when young I did dance lessons. When we moved they all stopped and all clubs were through school or local choirs and am dram that I could make my own way to on foot. I really wanted to do Brownies but my local group had a waiting list and when I suggested different one, that my friend went to cos i went to school in a different village, my Mum said no My husband said that his parents refused to take him anywhere, he had to make his own way for the first few sessions until he made friends whose parents would offer him a lift.

YANBU. We refuse to engage with it now. Both have swimming lessons (non-negotiable for safety) and 1 chosen activity each a week. 3/4 all on Saturday mornings, only 1 on a weekday twilight. We do not want to spend every evening driving them around, and want 1 day at the weekend completely free and flexible from all external demands. They also need downtime after a tiring, heavily structured day at school. They need time to play freely, go to the park, see family and have playdates, again to play in a more unstructured way.