Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

I'm so surprised that giving children the opportunity to do sports, music, drama etc outside of school is seen as a bad thing by some.
Surely its obvious that parents want to get them off the screens and out into real life, learning to socialise, making friends, keeping fit - why is that a bad thing?
I wanted mine to have the opportunities I never had until I did things myself in later life.
Not only that but opportunities at school to do many of these things is very limited as many are under budget/staffing constraints, whatever the open evenings say. That's another reason why it's good to join clubs..to get a decent chance to participate, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching the fortunate few.

No clubs. This was 50-60 years ago. My parents had very little money and no car.

There was an Irish dancing class after school (area near Kilburn), but the person running it was discriminatory about me not being Irish, so my mum took me out of it, as she wasn't having that.

I have been doing some of the clubs now, in retirement, that I might have liked as a child.

And my kids have done LOTS of clubs!

I don't think the world has changed that much. There are presumably still the same amount of paedophiles around as ever. I suppose traffic might be worse?

But tbh the things I most fear for children are more likely to happen in the home, on their phones/computers.

Mine did one thing each, but no more as I was working. Still a commitment for football with the matches. All young adults now so over and done with.

We couldn't even afford a car until I was a teenager in the late 80s, so no, no ferrying around here.

We also never did clubs. We sometimes stayed later after school to play tennis with the teachers or something similar.

My sister's kids are doing something EVERY night of the week, and have done for ten years now (they're only early and mid teens now). It sounds utterly exhausting. As long as it's not hurting anyone else, I guess.

I think I was 'over clubbed' as a child, with the best intentions. On primary I did ballet, tap, Brownies, swimming and riding - I think my parents wanted to give me the opportunity they never had. I always said I wouldn't do the same, but equally I don't want my experiences to hold them back. Luckily their school does lots of clubs - DD1 does netball, choir and dance clubs at school, and DD2 dance and choir. DD1 also does scouts and is a volunteer helper at Rainbows, and DD2 Brownies and swimming outside of school, plus DD1 has been doing tutoring for the 11+ 1 night per week after school this year (so glad that's over after next week). I would never force them to do any of them, our only rule is once I have paid for a term you finish that term, and if you want to stop after that, that's fine.

In what way are you depressed by children having opportunities to learn musical instruments, sports, dance or other arts? I'm so confused by the idea that this is something sad. Yes, children 'used to' play out more (I'm in my 40s and played out but also did ballet, Brownies, karate, football, athletics, guitar, swimming, horse riding) but they can still play AND go to clubs?
Most likely there is jealousy and a class-related element of this. Perhaps having dance and musical tuition and the money required for sports (equipment, footwear, clothing) was out of reach for many and so it was seen as posh and therefore, with reverse snobbery, a bit ridiculous and unnecessary.
There are very few musicians, artists, sportspeople, dancers who WEREN'T given support and encouragement to follow their passions in their youth.

I don't think, as a principal, driving your kids to activities is neccesarily harmful or spoiling them
If it causes undue financial or logisitcal hardships that aren't balanced out by the benefits of the activity, then don't do it
If its keeping your kids fit & healthy and/or socially engaged and/or off screens, and your household can manage the time & the cost, go for it

there are other benefits too, wider than just the kids - I've made great friends over the years standing at sides of pitches, organising carpools, helping out for events

I was a child in the 1960's. I went to piano lessons once a week. We didn't have a piano at home so I walked to the house of a widow who gave lessons in her front room for half a crown (about 12p in today's money). I went to Sunday School in the church hall up until I was about 10, which I also walked to and I attended the Girls Brigade which was like the Girl Guides, which again I walked to. From around the age of 10 I'd go swimming about once a month with friends and we'd catch the bus to the local baths without our parents.

I'm mid forties and most of the clubs I was part of were in my village so I didn't need to be driven anywhere most of the time. Occasionally there would be something a little further afield and either my mum or friends parents would drive us. Or there were Pony Club events that I would ride to and my mum would drive and meet me there!

My children have little interest in any extra curricular activities or clubs, my daughter used to go to Brownies but lost interest as she got older and then Covid hit and she never went back after. She occasionally goes to a youth club in a nearby town with one of her friends. She has piano lessons but these are at school during school hours.

My son did one after school club for a few months and hasn't wanted to do anything else since, he's happy to go to friends houses or meet them at the park but not so much into the organised activities!

One of my children is a dancer and has classes/team practise 5 or 6 times a week. The benefits are huge - teamwork, strength, fitness, a solid sense of belonging outside of school.

It is a lot of time, energy and money to facilitate it but we can manage it. Playing in the garden or baking at home are other things they enjoy (and they do often) but don’t benefit them in the same way.

Is it really an odd concept?

For many sports clubs the children turn into competitive players/competitors which in turn means more training hours and effort.

I have 3 girls, combined they train 33 hours a week spread accross the 7 days apart from a friday.

Do i love the constant driving, no, or the cost, no.

But what i do love is the fact my DDs are kept fit, active and healthy, they are taught resiliance, how to become part of a team, commitment, they learn to handle failure and how this is part of life and the growth that will come from it, they deal with many different people from many walks of lives, they make lots of friends in different enviroments.

And that is worth it for us.

Depends where you live. Not every family owns a car

I did a lot of stuff growing up, but we were totally responsible for getting ourselves there and home. We walked, rode our bikes or organised lifts with friends. Netball, Basketball, Brownies, Softball and Youth group. I dont think Dad really knew where any of us were. Activities were a lot cheaper or free back then. Uniforms were always handed down. I loved the freedom this gave me. But it was a small country town. My own children , I totally had to ferry every where because we live in the suburbs of a city and I dont have that handy book with everyone's phone numbers or even really know all the other parents.
Times change.

No resentment at all here. My sister and me both in 60s, do 10,000 steps a day. I will text her. How many steps? she will say 12,000. Nan, nah, nah, I did 13,000. I am sure that having to walk a few miles as kids has set us up for walking later in life.

My parents prioritised owning a house. They were whacked by the interest rates of the early 1970s. We had to tighten out belts. Get up at 6am and do a paper round if we wanted extras.

Hence, we aren't so fazed by the cost of living crisis.

We were very poor as kids and neither parent drove so we did no extra clubs. So il drain my bank account and ferry my kids round to whatever they are interested in to make sure they have those opportunities i missed out on.

I rode horses and yes, back in the 80s and 90s, I was taxied around everywhere so I could ride, compete, take care of my horse. There were days when my mum was doing it early morning before work and school and then again in the evenings after work. She spent a lot of time sitting in the car reading magazines. 😂

My dc have never been booked into a million activities. They spent a lot of time bored at home playing in mud and riding bikes. Eldest did ask to start a sport at 10. She’s 13 now and trains 3 evenings a week and is competing at the national level. She also has a job and works 2 afternoons a week. All totally driven by her. She enjoys it and is very good at it and it’s related to what she’d like to do as a career one day. We’re very happy to support it. But no, she never had weeks that were swimming lessons and gymnastics and flute and rainbows. I don’t like them busy for the sake of being busy.

My 8 year old used to do Beavers/Cubs. Again because he asked. We stopped when he lost interest. He’s been asking for about a year to try a martial art, so I’ve signed him up for that one day a week. If he decides he likes it and wants to do it more, we’ll make it happen. If he doesn’t, he’ll go back to building Lego and digging in the garden after school.

I certainly wasn't but my parents were shit. My Sunday was spent in the pub all day with a book.
I even remember I went to physio at a hospital that was 30 minutes by bus away when I was 12, mum didn't see any need for her to come along 🙄

I would take my son anywhere he wants to go but he just tends to do one activity at a time.

My kids are teens / tweens now.

They never did many clubs. One does a free after school club and intermittently, a fitness club.

The other does the fitness club and a drama club.

Never done more than 2 clubs a week.

I wish I'd kept swimming up longer. They're both ok but not strong swimmers.

The only adults I have ever encountered who are resentful about this kind of thing it's because their parents either had more children than they could afford - so a really foreseeable inability to really provide for them all - or because their was 'no money' for what they wanted as a child but plenty of money for their parents to smoke/drink/gamble etc. Sometimes both.

No one is saying that all parents should be able to afford nightly activities for their children (in either time or money) but I do think that some costs for extracurricular things is the kind of normal expenditure of having children that you should budget for - obviously then sometimes circumstances change and that can't be helped.

Growing up in the 70/80's, no wasn't driven as a rule.
Went to a club when I was 12 for a few years and old enough to walk or cycle there 2 nights a week. Wasn't driven to school either. Primary mum walked us until we got to 8-9 years old and after that we walked, was only a mile away. I did want to do horseriding but was told not enough money.

2 of my brothers didn't do clubs, one did the same club as I did. No musical instruments for any of us. I found out as an adult that the obligatory recorder that we all had in primary school, the one I thought I'd lost, was actually mum throwing it away on the quiet. She'd had a week of 'Three Blind Mice' and couldn't handle it anymore, ha.

I did a fair bit as a child and was ferried about by mum who worked PT and was also self employed. I'd say we generally had a couple of activities on the go at a time plus piano and Sunday school.

My mum was a big advocate for extra curricular stuff. Unfortunately our parents chose for us and it was mostly stuff we had no interest in or aptitude for. Years of tennis coaching for example (dad was a keen player and had the idea he could turn us into Wimbledon champions but he were both rubbish and hated it). Ditto piano. I really do think kids should choose their own hobbies within reason. I was also quite a homebody and loved staying at home just reading or walking our dogs. I longed to do ballet like my friends but parents rudely told me i was too clumsy.

I did love Saturday drama club which sadly shut down after a couple of years and quite liked Guides until I outgrew it (not technically but once I was the oldest one there I felt awkward).

Once i was a bit older it was church youth clubs which I really enjoyed and i walked myself there and back. My mum was a bit disapproving as it didn't involve a sport or instrument. Since leaving home I've never picked up a tennis racket or played the piano. It just wasn't for me. I do adult ballet though - i finally started age 45!

I've tried to get a better balance for my own children. They both tended to do a couple of activities a week each but ones they had chosen themselves. At times they did three but we all felt that was a bit too much. Some kids seem to be doing something every single evening. Fair play if they love it and parents are happy to take them but it tires me out just thinking about it.

I was taken to one club a week as a teenager but before that nothing. Likely because of cost and the logistics of being taken there/back.

My mum didn’t have the money for clubs, not that there were any near me, but we can afford for our daughter to go to the clubs she likes so we do it, she’s loved Rainbows then Brownies, did swimming, now does gymnastics, cricket, band and potentially stage school if she likes it. Plus any clubs the school might do such as dance.
If she decides she no longer enjoys then we’ll stop, it’s her decision, we don’t push her into doing anything.

My parents would’ve taken me to a few clubs if I wanted to go but beyond swimming and brownies there wasn’t much choice. What they didn’t do was take me anywhere or collect me as a teenager, so I either didn’t go out or had to navigate trains on my own at 13+. That’s what I have resentment about. They certainly wouldn’t have taken me or picked me up from Reading festival at 1am. I would want my child to do a few activities if I could afford them but would certainly want them to be safe at night by ferrying them about