Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

It's okay, I play an instrument now! I started one last year!

It was also an unfortunate mindset for the time, I think, because my parents genuinely thought the only way to be successful was to study ALL THE TIME. Like, anything that wasn't leading directly to the goal of getting good grades and then getting a good job was a waste of time. But by the time I was starting to enter the workforce in the mid 2010s, the job market attitude had really changed to "we want well rounded people" and I wasn't well rounded. I was just... grades.

I’m mid 40s. Between us at various times my sisters and I had music lessons (different instruments), pony club, netball, football, brownies, theatre, volleyball, swimming.

We lived out of town and I remember my mum driving me to 6.30am volleyball training before school once a week and she and other parents took turns driving the team a 3 hr round journey to matches once a week.

So yes, we were ferried!

growing up in the 60s as the youngest child my needs and wants were right at the bottom of the pile. i used to walk the 2 miles each way to the local swimming pool at the weekend because I liked swimming. I joined brownies but mum wouldnt take me and so was unable to go when the nights got darker and had to give up. same with guides. i played out in the street a lot and over the fields with friends. I tried to take up an instrument at senior school, mum wouldnt have it in the house and practicing in the garden shed was ok until it got cold. I basically had no hobbies and no after school clubs ever. small wonder I left home at 18. for my own kids it was 3 hobbies a week. 1 was in the home (music teacher came in) and 2 were their choice. worked well because we were self employed. I have friends now with younger kids who have a club every night and no time for home work. then they wonder why they fail their gcses.

I think it’s for the individual parent to decide what they want to do for their child and how much they do and want their child to do. Not you someone sat on a forum telling us what our child does and doesn’t need If my child was happy and had opportunities I would take her somewhere every single day.

If i couldn’t walk myself there or cycle i couldn’t go. And that was even to things like Brownies at the age of 5

I’m Gen X, we did everything for ourselves! I remember at junior school coming home from school the short cut which was across wobbly stones over a pretty fast, deep stream … parents didn’t realise of course! We also walked home in gaggles from infants and junior school,
it was well over a mile

I’m a mother of a little girl and she is doing dance lessons twice a week and after Christmas will be doing swimming. As a parent I don’t mind ferrying my child around to the classes I want her to take part in. I would much prefer to do that and her have hobbies and things to do and be good at than not. My friend has been a dancer for 15 years and is still dancing at 21 why would I take that from my child just because it’s driving her around

I did brownies and that was it

Sorry didn't read the whole thread, but I agree with you OP. Unless a child is mad about a hobby or does a sport they love, I think more than about 3 clubs a week is just too much for anyone. I had a friend whose DC averaged 6 after school activities a week (primary school, all very different activities), most chosen by the parent. When I asked whether DC is not tired from having school then instrument then sport in one day, back to back, she did not understand the question! Dinners were always rushed too.

As with most things there is a balance, a few things are probably good if DC enjoys them, tries something new, but I do think some parents think they are curating greatness by scheduling their kid's every living moment. Makes me so sad for the kids. At that age I just liked my legos and still managed to have plenty of hobbies.

I don't think you can 'spoil' a child with too much attention/ too many opportunities to try things, if they are that way inclined. It's great that kids have opportunities to try things... as long as the kids are the ones wanting to do it.

If it's the parents being pushy then that's another thing entirely.

Kids need rest and also the opportunity to be bored and amuse themselves as well. They don't always need to be occupied and 'bettering themselves'. They should be able to enjoy their childhood.

It's not safe to play in the streets any more because of all the parents ferrying their children to clubs. How ironic.

My mum was the other end of the scale and wouldn't put herself out for me or my brother at all.

E.g. we went to school in the town mum worked and got up at the crack of dawn to get the bus because mum didn't want to drive us and arrive at work half an hour early. This added an extra hour to our day.

She wouldn't let me help out with the school play because she didn't want me getting the bus home at night... but didn't want to collect me (15min drive).

I collected aluminum cans for recycling to get £££ and she refused to drive me and the bags of cans we had collected. Getting a bus with several bin bags was impossible.

And the list goes on.

Now, I let my children be in clubs and I will put myself out... to a point. I do draw a line (I.e they do several clubs and they asked to do another and I said no due to cost/logistics).

My parents lived and died without owning a car, so ferrying around was never an option 😅 Nor was anything remotely expensive. I was in the Brownies and the Girl Guides, mum would walk me to Brownies, I walked to Guides on my own. I did tap, ballet and majorettes for a while but the costumes were hard for them to afford, so I gave it up.

We had bikes, roller skates, balls, toys. We were fine.

Such is life. They did their best, I grew up, worked, travelled, took up horse riding in my 20s and many other hobbies as time has gone on, and have had an interesting and fulfilling life.

I grew up in Poland. We just played on the streets (badminton, football, etc.), rode bikes all the time with other kids, swam in every puddle we could find in the summer, playing 'shop' and 'family' with our neighbours in the garden and rode skis and sleighs in snowy winters and skidded on frozen ponds. Parents were rather uninvolved. My nephews back there still have this freedom and only go to football twice a week. But me and my DH have put our kids to a variety of clubs as is the think here in the UK. My older son's friends are not interested to hang out or ride bikes. They'd rather sit in their bedrooms with their faces glued to a phone screen.

I learnt a instrument for a year with school so wasn't too expensive. However I had to share the instrument with my older sibling who had been learning a lot longer and was doing grade exams. Sibling didn't like me using the instrument and we couldn't afford another so my parents stopped my lessons.
It was very much that my older siblings did the clubs, football,athletics swimming brownies. By the time I came along things were different so no clubs for me. I briefly did horse riding every other week or once a month but again they stopped paying for it. They wouldn't let me walk there alone to help out for free. So I just gave up with clubs. I did art and singing at home because that required no ongoing money or input from anyone. My friends had horses but I would of needed a lift so that wasn't going to happen.

My children need down time after school so we don't do many clubs but if they've shown a interest we always try stuff. Even if we can't afford weekly clubs we will try and support in whatever ways we can to make it happen in some capacity.

My love for horses is still strong today. I'm very aware that my life is flying before my eyes so I'm conscious of making hobbies for me a priority. Just trying to also facilitate my children along side. What's the point of life if we can't all have some joy!

I played in the school band and had music lessons at school. I played a big instrument so I had to carry it to and fro on band and lesson days. Parents refused to help. School was fab in trying everything to support me as long as possible but ultimately I had to give it up and I also was unable to take up a place in the local youth orchestra because there just wasn't public transport available for that journey. I am still a bit salty about that. Neither parent ever came to watch me play, either in school concerts, or local competitions or pageants. My mum had grade 8 piano, and claimed she resented having to learn because her mum forced her to, but she refused to support me when I chose to do a hobby I loved. They were equally awkward with my brother any any attempts he made to have hobbies.

I went to Brownies and Sunday School, they were in the village I lived in so we walked. When I was in secondary school we used to catch a bus to the next village and walk the rest of the way to the swimming pool. Never ferried around anywhere.

My mum really struggled and had no money for extras so I couldn’t join the gymnastics club even though I was naturally pretty good at it. I also wasn’t allowed to invite friends back to mine so without being able to reciprocate, friends tend to drop you. ☹️

Consequently, I’ve done my best to support my kids to do the activities they wanted to do. Youngest is into music and I’m paying for lessons and buying quality instruments as birthday and Christmas gifts. We also host the band practising at ours very regularly. 😁

I’m your age OP and we did trampolining, brownies, swimming, a musical instrument and when I got to secondary I did school clubs like art, tennis etc

Lots of my friends did ballet and piano. Tap dancing, etc

The boys all did football. And nearly all had swimming lessons. Seems the same then as it is now.

I wasn’t. I did Brownies once a week - it was walking distance (my parents didn’t drive so no ferrying).
I played a bit with my neighbours but not constantly - plus we lived in a close so no traffic in 1970s). I also did an activity club on a Sat pm for some of the year - same venue as Brownies.

My mum took me to museums on Sundays sometimes or we’d have family over occasionally. I do remember being bored a lot as a child as I was an only child of older parents so they didn’t really have a ‘circle’ of friends w kids my age.

From 14-16ish I went to a local youth group too. That was the making of my social life.

My DC are in their 20s and they did a combination of:
swimming (v important imho - wish my parents paid more attention to this life preserving skill)
karate (after school at school, so only picked up)
drama (weekends, they loved it, walking distance)
chess (at school after school - just playing so it was free)
guitar lessons (round the corner from us)
school rock band (at school)
football (DS at primary, DD at secondary)

They didn’t do all of this at one time and some of the activities only one child did.

At secondary they mainly got themselves home. They both did drama way in to secondary. One carried in w guitar, but the crest stopped. The one that kept in is very musical - the guitar was the start of it!!

I suppose we the world has changed. Even in the 1980s I spent my childhood being taken from here to there to clubs. It’s a competitive world now. Investing in your children gets them ahead.

That’s really sad. Being able to play an instrument is such a lovely thing to do and it’s such a shame it was denied to you because of that reason. No one would ever learn to do anything if we didn’t do them unless it was going to be a career or say an Olympian or something!

No, I wasn't allowed to join "inconvenient" clubs 🤣 (also nearly 40)
I signed up to an evening football club for a term, but mum didn't want me getting the bus on my own and she didn't want to drive (bless her, she had a full time job, two sets of elderly parents, and a new baby) so it was knocked on the head swiftly.
I have a much easier set up, so I'm hoping I'll be able to indulge my daughter when she wants to try things, but I'm secretly hoping she picks things that don't require a lot of "stuff" to lug about!

Hmm, I grew up in the 90s and we did lots of hobbies back then, maybe even more than my children do now!! In our house, we have one rule: swimming is non-negotiable until they’re proficient. After that, they can switch to something else if they want.
My boys have chosen football and piano, so we’re going along with those for now. My third is still too young to choose, so she only does swimming. I don’t find anything wrong with doing something that they want. The problem is when parents force their kids to do different hobbies.

I was allowed to do ballet and swimming and brownies, but when both ballet and swimming got to a point where I was quite good and asked to go to the nearest town (rather than in my village), I wasn't supported to do that. So gave up ballet about age 9 and swimming at 12. To be honest it makes me feel a bit sad and unsupported (though i was definitely loved).

I would happily drive my ds to clubs but he's not that keen. He plays golf locally and goes to scouts again very locally and music is at school.