Was anyone else not ferried around as a child to various clubs?

I did a few activities and hated all of them! This probably influences my very low clubs parenting style. No doubt my kids will say they didn’t do enough and so will do loads with their kids and the cycle will continue 😂

Really??

I'd have definitely thought it performative, but then again I was a full time working single parent whose kids did do stuff. Although it wasn't regular ferrying arohbd

What sports do your children do? How much time does it take you? Is that not all you need to worry about?

Brownies start at 8 don't they

I am 46 and me and my sibling did lots of clubs as kids, dancing most nights, theatre group at least once a week, badminton, piano lessons after school, violin in school. Rarely had a free night and I loved it. .

My DC did lots too but it was always their choice. Most of their stuff was quite reasonable on a monthly basis, kit was sometimes expensive. Tennis was the worst, was hundreds a month just for a few hours each and the constant pressure for them to do more hours, at one point they said my youngest should be doing 12-16 hrs a week as he was good, I was like absolutely not, would have definitely been the cost of a mortgage, and he was a bit lazy so never would have worked hard enough at it. Some of the kids there only did half days at school and played tennis in the afternoons, must have cost a fortune.

I'm 62 but did lots of activities that my parents took me to

Im also in my 50s, went to sunday's school, Catholic youth group, swimming pool, guides etc. But was never driven there. Mainly as my parents didn't drive . Was expected to make my own way to places as did the vast majority of the other kids unless they lived really out in the dticks

I was primary age in the 90s & did loads. Swimming lessons, ballet, music lessons, choir. There were lots of free/cheap clubs run by teachers after school - art, football, netball, cricket, recorders, choir.

Women rang things like ballet/tap in church halls for pin money and classes seemed to have more kids in which keeps costs down, & fewer mums worked long hours so were more available to help at brownies etc. Swimming lessons were only ever at the public leisure centre, which was local council run, and were cheap.

I remember most people doing lots (it was a state school in a lower middle class 70s new town), loads of people did brownies/cubs, gym, badgers, football. Music lessons at school were heavily subsidised by the county council so were quite affordable and the recorder group & choir were free.

My kids do very similar things to me but its vastly more expensive!

We have children in activities that they attend several times a week, as well as games / competitions / camps where we have travel. They attend this much as they excel at what they do and have joined elite teams, including national level. We don’t mind the travel as they genuinely love what they do and, despite the usual teenager traits, they are grateful and are fully aware of what we give up regarding time and costs.

This also doesn’t stop them meeting up with friends out and about and they have taken full advantage of the free bus travel over summer.

If they decided that this wasn’t right for them then we would never force them, but I would never make them stop either when they’ve got amazing opportunities in front of them purely so I didn’t have to be taxi driver.

I only know one family such as the OP describes and I’ve often suspected it’s driven by the parents wishes rather than the child’s. Most children I know have typically one hobby and maybe an after-school club which is either free or low cost with no additional transport costs as they’re already there. And at secondary school, they’re more interested in meeting up with friends in their free time.

That's a weird conclusion to leap to. Even with a dance class a night (her choice) DD has ample time for climbing trees and mucking about with friends too.

I think it's got a bit ridiculous really. Children these days don't learn how to entertain themselves, and don't learn the street smarts we used to have as kids, because they aren't allowed to play out.

I was in the Girl's Brigade from about the age of 9, and used to go to Sunday school at the same church. I would walk there on my own or with the other kids in the street as my mum wouldn't take me as I had a younger sibling and she didn't drive, and not many people had cars anyway. When I was about 11 I starred going to a youth club, and again I just took myself there and met friends. I walked to school with friends from the age of 9, which was a mile away.

There was definitely no ferrying about! Everyone walked to school or local clubs, which would only be once or twice a week.

We structured our own time the rest of the week and played out with friends.

I have a fair few children and they all do one club a week- two of the girls through school.

I always say to them they can do more if they like but they all say no. Think they're happy at home.

I was so lucky my dad did most of the ferrying!
Basketball at least 2 times a week plus one match a week in season.
Hockey 2 times a week plus 2 matches a week during season.
Cricket once a week plus matches in season.
At various points tennis lessons, judo, squash and swimming. Fortunately my brother also did half the sports I did so we went together for those.
Also various evening pickups from school for rugby, cricket and hockey.
Honestly I didn't appreciate it at the time, although my dad did start playing the sports too so as to not get bored!

I am 48 and I did ballet from 6 to 10 every Wednesday. No swimming as we lived in the sticks and the nearest swimming pool was miles away. We did cross country skiing because we lived near mountains and there was snow back then. We had our own skis. Apart from that, nothing. We were playing outside all the time though. We had so much countryside to explore around us. Without adult supervision. My children do swimming, one used to do drums but has stopped as he's not into.it anymore. One does after school clubs like yoga and gymnastics but it'smore playing around tbh. I wished they did more but my kids are the reserved type and hate group activities. We always suggest and encourage but it's met with a flat "no". The youngest would like to do horse riding but it's so expensive that I think we can only stretch to one lesson a month. It's not always the parents 😅

We weren't ferried around, parents couldn't afford a car.
We only did activities if we found something ourselves and able to walk there. My brother loved horse riding, there was a stables near us and they were very happy for local children to go along, very easy going, and the children got a chance to ride, not lessons but taught basics.
I went ice skating thanks to a local girl who had lessons and encouraged me to go with her, no paid lesson. I hired the skates.
Other that that just Sunday School, apart from loving to sing we didn't really do much activity, ie crafts, but it was sociable, there was a very large number.

I think I would have loved to win a badge or two at something, it may have built my confidence, as a lot of my school reports at secondary school say I lacked self confidence. I think I may have liked a bit more adult input too, gently though as I was quite quiet and could hold back. I think I would have loved to do some D of E, had I been the right age. It came too late for me.
I am just wondering who these wonderful people are who run these clubs/activities. There was a dance school a few miles from us and that was her business/income. If children want to do them, its lovely there are more opportunities.

I spend most of my time and money ferrying my three children to activities. Think we might have one weekend free until Christmas.. I appreciate some people think we are mad, but they are happy, healthy and engaged teenagers who know about hard work and have passions. My eldest competes at an international level and their sport has offered them numerous opportunities and a university scholarship. If children are interested and want to pursue their passions and parents can suppprt that, why wouldn’t you?

I wasn’t. We went to Brownies (60p a week) and a 5 minute walk away. And Sunday school. That was it. Partly because there was no money (my mum made damn sure she was unemployable and we were on benefits) and partly because I don’t think she could be arsed.

I think the difficulty is that if these were provided in school, there would be less of the ferrying around. I grew up in a country where participating in sports and other activities such as debating was all part of the school day and not all required the additional cost except for the uniform for some. We often had a longer school day finishing at 4/5pm. The sports was also very competitive going up to county level. These schools were not independent schools and were government schools. Perhaps the parents are doing it so that their children have these opportunities? I think my parents had it easier as they would come to competitions which were often at weekends or later on in the afternoon when they could or just collected at the end of the day. I believe independent schools are similar.

We were allowed one hobby and brownies/guides. My hobby was horse riding and I did get driven to that as the riding school was a fair distance. All my kit except for my helmet was 2nd hand and I got a new pair of boots at Christmas. Brownies/guides was considered to be character building and good life prep. The rest of the time we had to make our own entertainment after we had done our chores and school work.

I guess it worked as I am quite self contained and am happy to while away my time still. I'm never really bored, I can always find something to keep me occupied.

I’m 60+ and went to Brownies
DB had piano lessons
My DC who were born in the 90s did brownies and cubs, briefly had swimming lessons
We lived fairly rurally so had to drop them off to visit friends if not on a bus route and too far to walk or cycle

I'm in my 60s. I grew up in a family with no car and parents who worked. I went along with friends to a couple of clubs because their families had cars and could drive us there, then when I was 14 I started working weekends at a riding school but I had to walk the three miles there and back because we still didn't have a car. (I sometimes used to get a bus half way there, but always walked all the way back because I didn't have enough bus fare).

My parents never had the money for me to go to loads of activities. I went to Brownies and then Guides but they were held in the Village Hall almost next door. When I got my first little after school job at 14 and I earned a bit of money I was allowed to go on the bus to the weekly dance in the next town with my friend and dad and her dad used to take it in turns to come and collect us. Apart from that dad used to say that he had been at work all day and wasn't going to be a taxi service by night, so if I couldn't get there and back by bike or the bus I didn't go. 😁Mum didn't drive. Didn't feel hard done by because all my friends were the same.

I never intended to be that parent due to the expense, the time, the juggling! But when your child becomes really good at something it's really hard to say no, what do you do? Just stop getting better at something and stay where you are? Just give up? My daughter has played netball since she was 7, I started her off just to get to know other girls outside of school, be part of a team, fitness,etc. She's now 14 and competing at all sorts of levels, her fitness and strength is fantastic, its helped massively with her confidence. Sometimes you've just got to go with it, find the time and money and give them these opportunities.

I am in my 60s from a large family. We did, sports with lots of matches and track events..all of us..choir, school plays where we had to go back in the evening for practice, youth club and all it's activities and trips. My parents were not rich but they never complained about driving us. My Mum was a SAHM so was around but in the evenings our Dad drove us. We were the kind of kids that were stuck into everything and they just went along with it. We couldn't walk as we were right out the country.
When it came to our own l adopted the same attitude. If they wanted to do it, within reason, they did it. My dh often thought l was mad but l wanted to repeat my own childhood as l loved that.