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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect contact with my children while they are away camping?

56 replies

Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 09:38

My 2 children have been camping this weekend with their dad since Friday. Contact has been a bit tricky, he left me for another woman and I sent a few nasty messages a few years ago which led me to being blocked. I know I shouldn’t have done it, I was angry and I acted out. Fast forward 3 years I am happy with somebody else and I am still blocked. He can contact me when he likes but not the other way around.

i had a strange voicemail from my ex and his partner in the background was slagging me off saying it’s been 4 days, I don’t know what they have done etc like im not interested?

the kids could have gave me a call, I missed them so much and would have loved to speak to them. Surely she knows im blocked so my hands are tied so not sure what she expects me to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:25

Part of me probably still dislikes her after what happened, I compared myself to her for so long but I am actually really happy now and wish them luck and actually have no idea what she sees in him!

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 02/09/2026 10:24

Just ignore her. She is nothing to do with your dcs and what she thinks is irrelevant. Your dcs can call you if they want to. That is all that matters.

Nightnova · 02/09/2026 10:21

It doesn't sound like a great relationship if he's lying to her.

Anyway who cares what she thinks.

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:20

MissChanandlerBonng · 02/09/2026 10:18

Why are you so fixated on what she thinks?

I dont actually know

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 02/09/2026 10:19

Ideally, if the DC ask to call you during his contact time, he should facilitate that. If they don’t ask then I don’t think he should actively try to get them to do it. If they aren’t asking, that’s a good thing: they feel secure, they’re coping well with two households, they know that you’re going to be there when they get back from their trip.

MissChanandlerBonng · 02/09/2026 10:18

Why are you so fixated on what she thinks?

Nightnova · 02/09/2026 10:18

user1492757084 · 02/09/2026 10:15

Devise a way to communicate if there is an emergency. Will your ex give you his mother's number?
Will your ex allow you to text a change of plan in the case if an emergency etc.

Otherwise there is no reason for contact.
People out camping have no reception and the joy in camping is that it is off grid.

Not always, Plus you don't spend all your time in a tent. Unless they are camping in the out back they will have access to data and even wifi.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 02/09/2026 10:17

Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 09:59

It’s unfair of her to say that when I don’t have the means to contact them if I wanted to?

She probably doesn't know he's blocked you. You're overthinking this.

YourWildAmberSloth · 02/09/2026 10:17

Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:06

I just used the title that it created for me. Im
Ok with not hearing from them when they are with dad, I know they are safe but now I feel
im being judged for it by his partner.

You heard a snippet of a convo with his partner. Honestly, just let it go - even if she is judging you, it doesn't matter.

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:15

Nightnova · 02/09/2026 10:13

Why doesn't she know? He must have told her he blocked you? Unless he's lied to her so they can both slag you off.

I know I don’t fully understand it. Either way he is in full control of the situation as usual, he will contact me when it suits him.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 02/09/2026 10:15

Devise a way to communicate if there is an emergency. Will your ex give you his mother's number?
Will your ex allow you to text a change of plan in the case if an emergency etc.

Otherwise there is no reason for contact.
People out camping have no reception and the joy in camping is that it is off grid.

Nightnova · 02/09/2026 10:13

Why doesn't she know? He must have told her he blocked you? Unless he's lied to her so they can both slag you off.

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:12

I don’t value her opinion at all, she already destroyed my family. Just wish I didn’t hear it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:11

Even if was unblocked I don’t think I would have rang them?

OP posts:
Nightnova · 02/09/2026 10:11

What does she expect you to do? Send smoke signals? carrier pigeon?

I think your ex and his gf sound like dicks. A quick phone call to mum from the kids wouldn't hurt.

OriginalSkang · 02/09/2026 10:10

She probably doesn't know

Bluenotgreen · 02/09/2026 10:08

Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:04

It is nothing to do with her how I parent and what I do and don’t do.

Show quote history

Well she’s entitled to an
opinion and she didn’t tell you this, you just overheard her by accident.

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:06

I just used the title that it created for me. Im
Ok with not hearing from them when they are with dad, I know they are safe but now I feel
im being judged for it by his partner.

OP posts:
PollyBell · 02/09/2026 10:05

No there is no expection of this and no you have no right to demand anything

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:04

Bluenotgreen · 02/09/2026 10:03

Why are you assuming his partner knows he’s blocked you? From what you overheard it’s fairly clear she doesn’t know isn’t it?

How old are DC? They will have their own phones at some point?

It is nothing to do with her how I parent and what I do and don’t do.

OP posts:
tarheelbaby · 02/09/2026 10:03

My parents split up when I was 10 and DSis was 7. I can't remember contacting my mum when we were with my dad or even wanting to call her. I know that if we'd asked, he would have gladly helped. (It was way back in the day and there were only landlines then.)

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:03

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 02/09/2026 10:02

Why aren’t you telling us how old your DC are?

Sorry, they are 6 and 9

OP posts:
Bluenotgreen · 02/09/2026 10:03

Why are you assuming his partner knows he’s blocked you? From what you overheard it’s fairly clear she doesn’t know isn’t it?

How old are DC? They will have their own phones at some point?

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 02/09/2026 10:02

Why aren’t you telling us how old your DC are?

Original poster
Dolphinoise · 02/09/2026 10:01

UniquePinkSwan · 02/09/2026 10:00

Would you like it if the dad called constantly when you were on holiday with them?

Absolutely not no.

OP posts: