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Original poster

Would you complain ?

35 replies

jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 09:35

Ds 11 goes to a special school, he’s starting his high school tomorrow. I’m so annoyed with how badly it’s all been handled by the county council.

I applied for his high school back in September/october 25 and handed the application in in person, I wanted to be sure it got there okay. Come may I still hadn’t heard if he had his place, in the end I had to ring the high school directly to see if he was on their list. This was after a couple of months of unanswered emails and phone calls to the Sen department at the council.

Once I found out ds had his place at school I could then sort the transport, you have to apply for this and you are told whether you are eligible or not, before applying the school MUST be names in the child EHCP, guess what I realised ? Ds school wasn’t named in his plan meaning I couldn’t apply. Cue panic stations becuse you cannot get in touch with anybody at the councils Sen department to ask what the hell has happened! Eventually ds primary school got involved and somehow managed to contact the Sen department for me, I then had an email off ds keyworker who had ignored me for the last year. She approved the transport herself and apologised for ds EHCP not being updated properly after the last review.

Next thing is I’ve literally only found out yesterday what company is providing ds transport to high school, this is after numerous emails of me harassing the council to find this out. Usually you would receive a call from the company a few weeks before school starts to organise a meet and greet, the driver and passenger assistant will come out and meet your child and introduce themselves so the child with special needs knows what to expect etc. l’ve just managed to speak to the taxi company myself and find out the drivers name so I can at least tell ds that, and also what sort of time to expect them.

Honestly it’s all been such a shambles, I’ve had to organise everything myself it seems, even down to finding out if ds is even in our preferred school.

Ds keyworker told me she’s only just come back to work after long term sickness, so I think what’s happened is nobody at the council picked up her workload maybe ? And that’s why ds got forgotten about.

Would I be unreasonable to put a formal complaint in? Luckily I am quite pro-active (I’ve learnt to be from dealing with this whole EHCP process and getting ds into a special school)
Some parents may not be as organised as me or need extra support so I worry how they would cope with this shit show.

OP posts:
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roaringdragon · 03/09/2026 20:57

LittleMi55Nobody · 03/09/2026 19:36

HaHA yes i have 2 autistic kids thanks very much and have been there and have got the tshirt but i treat people with respect

Show quote history

OP can challenge the LA for not doing what they are supposed to do and sitll be respectful. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

ThaneOfGlamis · 03/09/2026 20:48

jimmyateworld · 03/09/2026 20:29

Sadly this is true. But if us parents don’t make it known the treatment is not okay then there will never be any change.

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Oh I don't disagree. But am still awaiting the response to the complaint I made in April, so am feeling rather jaded!

Original poster
jimmyateworld · 03/09/2026 20:29

ThaneOfGlamis · 03/09/2026 19:41

I mean you can complain, but be prepared that the best possible response you are likely to get is generic fob off. They are highly unlikely to care.

Sadly this is true. But if us parents don’t make it known the treatment is not okay then there will never be any change.

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmyateworld · 03/09/2026 20:29

LittleMi55Nobody · 03/09/2026 19:36

HaHA yes i have 2 autistic kids thanks very much and have been there and have got the tshirt but i treat people with respect

Show quote history

So then surely you understand the frustrations? Or have you been relatively lucky and not really come across any obstacles ?
And where in my post do I state I’ve been disrespectful? I have manners and am always courteous, but I won’t be fobbed off anymore like I used to be when I was new to all this, mainly thanks to the support I’ve received on Mumsnet when I’ve come on here with issues in the past. When I say harassed you do understand I’m just using a turn of phrase to show how much I’ve had to chase people regarding these issues? I’ve not actually stalked anyone 🙄

You come on here, read a couple of comments and jump to conclusions, some people are unbelievable.

OP posts:
ThaneOfGlamis · 03/09/2026 19:41

I mean you can complain, but be prepared that the best possible response you are likely to get is generic fob off. They are highly unlikely to care.

LittleMi55Nobody · 03/09/2026 19:36

jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 16:17

Have you ANY experience of SEN? If you did then you’d realise that if you don’t “harass” then you get absolutely fucking nowhere. So don’t you come on here judging me, a very stressed out parent of not one, but 3 Sen children. Have a look on the Sen support board and you’ll see many other parents in my situation, it is not acceptable and we shouldn’t have to accept it.

Edit - just to add this is the 3rd time I’ve been through the transport process, I’m not new to it and this is by far the worst experience, due to council cuts.

Edited
Show quote history

HaHA yes i have 2 autistic kids thanks very much and have been there and have got the tshirt but i treat people with respect

Thegladstonebag · 03/09/2026 19:27

Ablondiebutagoody · 02/09/2026 16:02

It's pointless. 50% of the caseworkers will be on long-term sick. 6 months full pay, 6 months half pay, pop back in for a bit, go off sick again. Tidy.

You sound quite envious. There are plenty of caseworker roles advertised in most LAs, go and give it a try.

Original poster
jimmyateworld · 03/09/2026 10:04

bittertwisted · 03/09/2026 00:05

My exDH owns a taxi company, he ALWAYS went to meet parents and children before a school contract and was never late

do you have any idea how much this service costs???

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That’s really nice to know and what we’re used too, I guess not all company’s do meet and greets, I just think a phonecall off them confirming they have ds on the list and to expect them would’ve been something

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmyateworld · 03/09/2026 10:03

dupedsuave · 03/09/2026 08:07

That’s really nice he was so proactive.
We had half hour notice. With no other details and no name. Cab came 15mins early. Told us off for not being ready on time. No lanyard.
My child was anxious to say the least.

We are paying as child is now at college.

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That is disgraceful! This is what I was worrying about, when are they going to turn up?! Ds was anxious enough as it is being the first day of secondary school not to mention getting on a car with total strangers, I wouldn’t like that myself and I’m 36!

OP posts:
dupedsuave · 03/09/2026 08:07

bittertwisted · 03/09/2026 00:05

My exDH owns a taxi company, he ALWAYS went to meet parents and children before a school contract and was never late

do you have any idea how much this service costs???

Show quote history

That’s really nice he was so proactive.
We had half hour notice. With no other details and no name. Cab came 15mins early. Told us off for not being ready on time. No lanyard.
My child was anxious to say the least.

We are paying as child is now at college.

Lkt32 · 03/09/2026 07:10

jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 16:19

Hi, we’ve always had meet and greets, hence me wondering why it hasn’t happened this time. I agree the passenger assistants are always brilliant

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The meet and greets sound really good. I would have loved that for my son. I'm sorry it didn't happen this time as it should.

bittertwisted · 03/09/2026 00:05

Lkt32 · 02/09/2026 15:18

You're not unreasonable and by all means complain, but this is all par for the course in my experience. Shouldnt be.

I've never heard of transport doing meet and greet. Normally they're still sorting routes out in August.
We normally find out which transport company it is a week before the term starts. Sometimes the day before. (One year it was 2 weeks after term started. All shit, for sure.) We don't get the pick up times or any other info.

This year we found out because the passenger assistant (who we had last year and is amazing) called us to let us know. Not at all her job.
Also, first day of term the transport is always AWFUL. We always have a plan B after the first year when they arrived at 10.30am.

My exDH owns a taxi company, he ALWAYS went to meet parents and children before a school contract and was never late

do you have any idea how much this service costs???

Lizchapman · 02/09/2026 21:17

DecoratingDiva · 02/09/2026 14:41

What do you want the outcome of your complaint to be? Clearly what has already happened cannot be changed so I would say be clear about what you want to achieve with a complaint.

Once you know that you can weigh it up against the emotional effort & time taken to complain to decide if it is worth doing.

Personally I would put in a complaint asking for an acknowledgment that they have failed in their support on this occasion but I honestly wouldn’t expect anything meaningful to come of it.

If it has been caused by lack of work being transferred due to sickness then a reasonable outcome would be a clearly documented policy of how work will be transferred to prevent this happening again.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 02/09/2026 17:22

Hats off to you OP, it's a total nightmare and they don't seem to factor in that all this uncertainty would be stressful for an average child, but for a send child it's a total nightmare because they likely have a need for much more stability and routine and cant cope with a total stranger turning up at any old time whilst taking them to a totally new place (I doubt many kids would cope with that tbh)! It's hard enough trying to manage day to day life for parents when juggling additional needs and everything else, without adding school and transport into the mix. It's the double whammy of life already being much more challenging for us (parents) and children with send, but then all the processes around this (and dla, and access cards and going/doing/receiving any support) are way harder than they should be.

I'd put in a short formal complaint, maybe with a specific request that they work a process out for when a key worker is off long term? I think generally complaints aren't actually helpful unless there's something that can be done - but it sounds like here there was a gap in the process when she went off? In which case, an easy investigation into why and a fix could stop someone else having this problem. I do think this area is so woefully funded, everyone does try hard and is working as much as they can- so just a general complaint can't really do much, but if you've spotted a really clear and specific gap they need to fix then it's worth raising it.
I hope the new school works for your son and he has a good day.

PloddingAlong21 · 02/09/2026 17:14

If you have energy - complain. It’s unacceptable they can continue like this. Whatever their reason isn’t good enough and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. If parents make enough noise eventually they have to listen to SEN parents and stop sidelining them due to lack of budget. Returning calls is common courtesy and in any other job if you ignored someone for a year there would be issues to answer.

PennyPugwash · 02/09/2026 17:07

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 15:32

why.??..youre sorted now......."luckily i am quite proactive"..so your going to harass a department that has thousands of SEN transport applications to sort out.... you should know they send out tenders for transport and have to wait to see who "wants" your son...youve said youve been "harrassing " the council...you sound very entitled

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Completely disagree with you.
This mom has been doing everything in her power to ensure an organised transition to high school.
she doesn’t sounds entitled at all. She’s pissed off, with every right to complain.

Original poster
jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 16:19

Lkt32 · 02/09/2026 15:18

You're not unreasonable and by all means complain, but this is all par for the course in my experience. Shouldnt be.

I've never heard of transport doing meet and greet. Normally they're still sorting routes out in August.
We normally find out which transport company it is a week before the term starts. Sometimes the day before. (One year it was 2 weeks after term started. All shit, for sure.) We don't get the pick up times or any other info.

This year we found out because the passenger assistant (who we had last year and is amazing) called us to let us know. Not at all her job.
Also, first day of term the transport is always AWFUL. We always have a plan B after the first year when they arrived at 10.30am.

Hi, we’ve always had meet and greets, hence me wondering why it hasn’t happened this time. I agree the passenger assistants are always brilliant

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 16:18

DecoratingDiva · 02/09/2026 14:41

What do you want the outcome of your complaint to be? Clearly what has already happened cannot be changed so I would say be clear about what you want to achieve with a complaint.

Once you know that you can weigh it up against the emotional effort & time taken to complain to decide if it is worth doing.

Personally I would put in a complaint asking for an acknowledgment that they have failed in their support on this occasion but I honestly wouldn’t expect anything meaningful to come of it.

I guess acknowledgement that they dropped the ball with ds a few times already.

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 16:17

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 15:32

why.??..youre sorted now......."luckily i am quite proactive"..so your going to harass a department that has thousands of SEN transport applications to sort out.... you should know they send out tenders for transport and have to wait to see who "wants" your son...youve said youve been "harrassing " the council...you sound very entitled

Show quote history

Have you ANY experience of SEN? If you did then you’d realise that if you don’t “harass” then you get absolutely fucking nowhere. So don’t you come on here judging me, a very stressed out parent of not one, but 3 Sen children. Have a look on the Sen support board and you’ll see many other parents in my situation, it is not acceptable and we shouldn’t have to accept it.

Edit - just to add this is the 3rd time I’ve been through the transport process, I’m not new to it and this is by far the worst experience, due to council cuts.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 02/09/2026 16:02

It's pointless. 50% of the caseworkers will be on long-term sick. 6 months full pay, 6 months half pay, pop back in for a bit, go off sick again. Tidy.

roaringdragon · 02/09/2026 15:55

To answer the why question from pp, there is a reason why secondary phase transfer EHCPs must be finalised by 15th Feb. Where LAs fail to do so, DC are disadvantaged. For example, it frustrates a parent’s right of appeal, it delays transition arrangements which can start earlier and be much longer and involved for DC with SEN, it delays preparing DC, it causes stress and anxiety for parents and DC. There is a reason why it is one of the areas the LGO will look at (and make a decision on a remedy for the injustice where appropriate) when parents exhaust the LA’s complaints process without satisfactory answer. It doesn’t make parents ‘very entitled’.

Also, when LAs see parents don’t challenge unlawful behaviour, they are more likely to act unlawfully in the future.

Sunbringer · 02/09/2026 15:49

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 15:32

why.??..youre sorted now......."luckily i am quite proactive"..so your going to harass a department that has thousands of SEN transport applications to sort out.... you should know they send out tenders for transport and have to wait to see who "wants" your son...youve said youve been "harrassing " the council...you sound very entitled

Show quote history

Probably because school started this week…

Sunbringer · 02/09/2026 15:48

Everything seems to be like this nowadays. I spent weeks chasing down a medical referral that seemed to have vanished into the ether. If it was someone less able they’d have been forgotten about forever…

Hollowvoice · 02/09/2026 15:33

jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 10:21

It’s never ending isn’t it ? We shouldn’t be having to fight battle after battle

Show quote history

It's constant fighting. I have one DC who was given an EHCP easily but it then took 6 months of faffing about before things were implemented so they basically missed a whole year of school.
Then the other one I'm on the second tribunal for, it's clear to everyone except the LA that full time mainstream school is simply not possible.

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 15:32

jimmyateworld · 02/09/2026 09:35

Ds 11 goes to a special school, he’s starting his high school tomorrow. I’m so annoyed with how badly it’s all been handled by the county council.

I applied for his high school back in September/october 25 and handed the application in in person, I wanted to be sure it got there okay. Come may I still hadn’t heard if he had his place, in the end I had to ring the high school directly to see if he was on their list. This was after a couple of months of unanswered emails and phone calls to the Sen department at the council.

Once I found out ds had his place at school I could then sort the transport, you have to apply for this and you are told whether you are eligible or not, before applying the school MUST be names in the child EHCP, guess what I realised ? Ds school wasn’t named in his plan meaning I couldn’t apply. Cue panic stations becuse you cannot get in touch with anybody at the councils Sen department to ask what the hell has happened! Eventually ds primary school got involved and somehow managed to contact the Sen department for me, I then had an email off ds keyworker who had ignored me for the last year. She approved the transport herself and apologised for ds EHCP not being updated properly after the last review.

Next thing is I’ve literally only found out yesterday what company is providing ds transport to high school, this is after numerous emails of me harassing the council to find this out. Usually you would receive a call from the company a few weeks before school starts to organise a meet and greet, the driver and passenger assistant will come out and meet your child and introduce themselves so the child with special needs knows what to expect etc. l’ve just managed to speak to the taxi company myself and find out the drivers name so I can at least tell ds that, and also what sort of time to expect them.

Honestly it’s all been such a shambles, I’ve had to organise everything myself it seems, even down to finding out if ds is even in our preferred school.

Ds keyworker told me she’s only just come back to work after long term sickness, so I think what’s happened is nobody at the council picked up her workload maybe ? And that’s why ds got forgotten about.

Would I be unreasonable to put a formal complaint in? Luckily I am quite pro-active (I’ve learnt to be from dealing with this whole EHCP process and getting ds into a special school)
Some parents may not be as organised as me or need extra support so I worry how they would cope with this shit show.

why.??..youre sorted now......."luckily i am quite proactive"..so your going to harass a department that has thousands of SEN transport applications to sort out.... you should know they send out tenders for transport and have to wait to see who "wants" your son...youve said youve been "harrassing " the council...you sound very entitled