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AIBU?

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AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

1000 replies

AutumnLighting · 01/09/2026 22:51

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
venus7 · 02/09/2026 20:05

Sharptonguedwoman · 02/09/2026 20:04

Well I thought it was funny

Thank you; much appreciated.

mummalog · 02/09/2026 20:07

Oh my lord, YANBU at all in my opinion. Do people seriously moan about their neighbours lights ffs!? I presume they’re only on at night anyway so surely she can just close her blinds or curtains.

pusspuss9 · 02/09/2026 20:07

user5783940 · 02/09/2026 19:01

Your bending over backwards not to sound like a racist makes you sound more and more like a racist.

Is your positive contact with these 'polite, reliable, conscientious' 'black colleague' 'ladies' a surprising revelation to you?

Are you a 90 year old man? I don't know anyone else who would call co-workers ladies, never mind point out 'black colleagues',

Your bending over backwards not to sound like a racist makes you sound more and more like a racist.
No I'm not bending over backwards. I don't need to. I don't care how I come across to you to be honest as you have no idea
Is your positive contact with these 'polite, reliable, conscientious' 'black colleague' 'ladies' a surprising revelation to you?
No, they're my friends. I'm not in the least surprised. I've stayed at their houses with them and their families and they've stayed at mine. over some years now. we're all old now, some have sadly died

Are you a 90 year old man? I don't know anyone else who would call co-workers ladies, never mind point out 'black colleagues',
No I'm an 80 year old woman. we all call ourselves ladies (often jokingly I might add)
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React

Itsbeenalongtimeincoming · 02/09/2026 20:08

Holy shit.

Please tell me where I can send you more lights. These racist abhorrent people need to be made to feel as legally uncomfortable as possible.

Big hugs to you and your family. I am so sorry that there are such awful people in the world.

FreddysFingers · 02/09/2026 20:09

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 02/09/2026 18:08

Not sure if you allowed to do this in the UK, but here it goes anyhow.

Can you invite all the neighbors except them out to "hear" the recording from the Ring or whatever was used to record it? Maybe with a large speaker and let everyone sit and hear the truth about these people. Letting them be publicly embarrassed might be a cure for a few of THEIR ills.

I like this idea!!

mummalog · 02/09/2026 20:11

Please buy a massive giant inflatable Santa 😂

AutumnLighting · 02/09/2026 20:15

We are going to report them. My husband was really quiet all day but we’ve spoken with our kids and we have all agreed that it’s important that it is reported.

We will be keeping our lights up and will still put them up at Christmas.

3 neighbours have now said they’ll put lights up this year in solidarity and they will be flashing. 😂 Apparently one of them had lights until 3 years ago as their grandchildren got older and they stopped! They showed us a photo and ours are nothing in comparison. No complaints were made to them but they are white. They were really lovely and came to see us having found out what happened from another neighbour. They usually take in parcels for the racists and water their garden when they’re on holiday but said they won’t be doing any of it now.

The racists have annoyed every single one of their neighbours and will now be reported as well.

The obvious racist posters here actually helped us decide to report them, so although you disgust me, you have been useful. Now fuck off.

Thank you for the supportive posts. They have been really nice to read.

OP posts:
MarthaLovesLaughing · 02/09/2026 20:17

Well done @AutumnLighting

❤️

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/09/2026 20:18

Good to hear you have support from the other neighbours.

ThatWhiteElephant · 02/09/2026 20:22

Good for you for reporting them.
Your racist neighbours showed their true colours very quickly, I am glad your other neighbours are supporting you.

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:23

Um, I did write a post without RTFT and now I'm going to RTFT and in the meantime I have deleted my entire post and exchanged it with this grovelling apology. I gather nasty things have been afoot and in that case, I'm truly sorry for the OP. And my aesthetic feelings about unseasonal fairy lights are therefore of interest only to myself.

HutchMadras · 02/09/2026 20:23

I jumped from page 2 or 3 to 34 (who has time to read all this stuff ??) and found the thread had really nothing to do with its title. Christ.

Soitshoteh · 02/09/2026 20:26

PrawnFree · 02/09/2026 19:44

You’ve confirmed my point in your very first sentence.

You either deliberately ignored the scare quotes around "basic decency" to score that point or you genuinely missed them, and honestly neither reflects well on the comprehension skills you've been banging on about. Scare quotes. They mean I was questioning the framing, not endorsing it. Basic stuff.
And this idea that what people are saying here is some massive assault on human decency is really stretching it. Nobody suggested anything violent or illegal. The terrible vindictive act being discussed is christmas lights. What people are actually arguing, backed by logic and yeah scholarship if you'd read that far instead of stopping at sentence one, is that causing mild discomfort to someone who screamed a racial slur at their neighbour on their own doorstep is not a moral catastrophe. Petty maybe. Wrong? Not really. And petty and morally indefensible aren't the same thing, even if treating them as identical is more convenient for your argument.
You could have engaged with any of the actual substance. the reasoning behind why people think consequences for racists even small stupid ones are justified. Instead you read one sentence, announced you'd proven your point, and used it as more evidence that everyone here is thick. Which, coming from someone who showed up to complain about everyone else's logic and then refused to actually engage with any is probably the most classic Mumsnet move in this entire thread.

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:26

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:23

Um, I did write a post without RTFT and now I'm going to RTFT and in the meantime I have deleted my entire post and exchanged it with this grovelling apology. I gather nasty things have been afoot and in that case, I'm truly sorry for the OP. And my aesthetic feelings about unseasonal fairy lights are therefore of interest only to myself.

Edited

At least read the damn op updates even if you can't be arsed to read the whole thread Angry

Foodwench66 · 02/09/2026 20:28

I agree with your husband and I would not go over and talk to her. I would ignore her note. If she approaches you, you tell her the lights are staying, and refuse to discuss it any further. The Nerve, lol.

This does remind me of a You Tuber a few years ago that had a pesky neighbor who tried to lean over her fence and cut her patio string lights down. I think she actually succeeded once! That woman was Touched, just a bit.

Soitshoteh · 02/09/2026 20:28

HutchMadras · 02/09/2026 20:23

I jumped from page 2 or 3 to 34 (who has time to read all this stuff ??) and found the thread had really nothing to do with its title. Christ.

so theres this little button at the top of the page right under the OP that allows you to read all the updates on one page! hope that helps

Whatawickedgametochoose · 02/09/2026 20:29

As someone dealing with psycho moaning ableist neighbours (I’m physically disabled from an accident with neurospicy DCand this seems to be the funniest thing ever to her) I send you Flowers but most of your neighbours seem wonderful

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:29

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:26

At least read the damn op updates even if you can't be arsed to read the whole thread Angry

yeah sorry, your angry-at-me post now looks a bit daft. My fault, I rewrote my entire post. Maybe don't be TOO quick to go off on one - that is, after all, what you're criticising me for ...

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 20:29

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:23

Um, I did write a post without RTFT and now I'm going to RTFT and in the meantime I have deleted my entire post and exchanged it with this grovelling apology. I gather nasty things have been afoot and in that case, I'm truly sorry for the OP. And my aesthetic feelings about unseasonal fairy lights are therefore of interest only to myself.

Edited

are you the neighbour ??

MellersSmellers · 02/09/2026 20:30

Be neighbourly. Go and talk to her and come to a compromise.
I would tolerate Christmas lights but what's with the Autumn lights?? That's not even a thing!

NotMeAtAll · 02/09/2026 20:30

I think you need to get the tackiest lights you can find. "Welcome to New Vegas".

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:30

Pleased you reported them @AutumnLighting and also really chuffed that the majority of your near neighbours seem to be decent people Flowers

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:31

MellersSmellers · 02/09/2026 20:30

Be neighbourly. Go and talk to her and come to a compromise.
I would tolerate Christmas lights but what's with the Autumn lights?? That's not even a thing!

I'll be deleted again for asking this I'm sure, but can you read?

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:32

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:29

yeah sorry, your angry-at-me post now looks a bit daft. My fault, I rewrote my entire post. Maybe don't be TOO quick to go off on one - that is, after all, what you're criticising me for ...

Everyone can still read your edit though so it's not the flex you think it is.

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