AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

What a strange thing to say. People do decorate for autumn now. The have maple wreaths etc on the doors or garden gates. Anyways, its her house and she can decorate how she likes.

So many strange people on here. Where are you living if you've never seen an autumn wreath before?

OMG they sound awful. I was on the fence initially but after I read about the racial slur and strange cars my view is festoon your entire facade in bright lights of many colours that flash at different speeds all night

Your bending over backwards not to sound like a racist makes you sound more and more like a racist.

Is your positive contact with these 'polite, reliable, conscientious' 'black colleague' 'ladies' a surprising revelation to you?

Are you a 90 year old man? I don't know anyone else who would call co-workers ladies, never mind point out 'black colleagues',

Indeed. Many, not everyone. Presumptions like this don't throw much light on the situation......

Given the number of people who still think this is about the lights @RowsOfFlowers you're probably best asking for that comment to be deleted. Mind, I suppose it shows that at least some people are reading beyond the op.

The lights sound lovely and your wreath. You sound like my kind of people any excuse for a few twinkly lights, wreaths and general decorations. I have a tree I like to hang hearts for valentines day. Your neighbour sound like miserable horrible people. My friends always have a lights turning on party in the front garden and invite the neighbours. Do that with all your nice neighbours and have the lights on rave mode for the party. Maybe a projector with lots of happy pictures. A nice goats curry to keep you all warm and toasty to finish them off xxxx

She might be nuerodivergent, iif she's quite elderly she may not even know, but if she finds the lights too much then it's not really OK to ignore her, and it's good to have real dark at night, so how about just a few at Christmas, not flashing ones!!! It's really not OK to not get on with neighbours, really awkward. Good luck with your mellow lights. My daughter has some not bright coloured lights in her back garden and their draped on trees, shrubs, a fence and they really arnt bright definitely not flashing and it does look really magical, tiny little lights.

You could not have missed the point more spectacularly.

It’s really not ok to call OPs husband a racial slur and tell him to go home.

It’s absolutely ok to ignore people who do this and not give into their ridiculous demands and bullying.

Your neighbours sound miserable! I see lights up all year round. Especially at Chrismas. I think they are pretty and festive. I wouldnt like to upset my neighbours so maybe I'd try compromise on just Christmas time and the "still" setting even though I prefer the slow twinkling setting and thats a strong maybe. People have been decorating their houses at Christmas for years and tbh I've never heard anyone have a problem with it before, but try talking and compromising, it makes life so difficult if you can't get along with neighbours.

I agree totally. We have a wreath for every season and indoor decorations for autumn and Halloween. Why not. Its fun. You do you

😂😂😂 Oh OP please do this and send us a photo.

I read all the OP's posts, which ended at page, I dunno, 16 or so, and we're now at page 34. Absolutely NOT going to RTFT at this point, it will all be about should people have lights or shouldn't they. Here's my view - I was part of the sniffy anti-light crowd for years, and then I suddenly thought, no, they're lovely. I love seeing a few lights here and there when I'm out and about. I am all light, all the way. I understand the need for dark areas, but as soon as you are living somewhere, anywhere, and lights are showing, you've already distorted the habitat. Bring it, OP. And crush the racist neighbours.

Oh blimey some right miserable Karens on here!!! If a few house lights make you happy crack on and ignore people that whinge about it. It’s your house and I bet they look lovely and pretty. If a few house lights are all she can find to moan about you’re not doing too bad - tell her to live somewhere where she can’t see other people’s houses if she’s triggered that much x

ND is not a cause of abuse, harassment and racism. In fact, linking them is an insult to the vast majority of people who are ND who are law abiding and do not harass or verbally abuse people. In the absence of a serious learning disability, no adult, ND or NT should be excused for this kind of behaviour.

I’ve read your original post and the follow up posts too. They sound like they’re not only unbalanced mentally, but a racist pair of wankers who need to get a fucking life excuse my language. Why are they watching the front of your house? It sounds like there’s a good bit of distance between your home and theirs so they are clearly deliberately trying to intimidate and interfere even before coming over and complaining.

I would report this to the police, you as the mother of mixed race children are quite within your rights to do that even if you are white yourself. They are bullies and maybe a visit by the police and a stern warning that this is not ok is what they need to back down.

First off, your neighbours are sickening, miserable, racist cunts and I do absolutely hope you report them.

Re the lights. I think there's an awful lot of pinch-lipped overboard reaction on this thread. I do understand people's dislike of flashing, bright and blue lights, and I'm very sympathetic to the migraine issue, although I don't get them myself. I didn't know that leds flicker invisibly and can trigger that, so I'm glad to have learned something.

That said, some dim, warm-white lights on a timer, used judiciously are not going to wildly disrupt the ecosystem, and it's a bit disingenuous to imply they are. Once you have human habitation and lighting, the disturbance is already there, and I agree, we should minimise it, but a few hours of low lighting isn't that hazardous.

And as to people putting wreaths on their doors, honestly, who cares, assuming it makes them happy?

By the way, there are also dark skies and turtle approved lights available, for anyone who needs a bit of outdoor lighting and wants to minimise impact. They provide minimal, but enough light to navigate paths and don't project any light upwards. That's what we have in our house in the US on a timer, and we turn them off when we're not there. Mind, we also have streetlights here and there, although those have been greatly reduced.

There are so many people on this site who have a visceral negative reaction to people having any fun or festivity in their lives.

I'd genuinely love a proper discussion, but you're right that we'll have limited time here, and I do think that theres a few important points to be made so please dont take this as a personal attack but im going to write a few down in succession given that .
The "some of my Black colleagues were excellent" thing, I don't think you realise what you're doing but it's one of the most recognised patterns there is when it comes to talking about race. Tokenism basically, using individual Black people you've personally approved of as a kind of character reference for yourself. The issue isn't that you're lying, it's that you're doing two contradictory things at once and not noticing.
The impression you have that people make excuses out of solidarity, look, there are really only two ways you've ended up there. One is that you've spent years absorbing a media and political climate that has worked very hard to make any acknowledgment of racism look like motivated bias, and it's worked, which isn't a personal failing exactly but it is a form of brainwashing whether you like that word or not. The other option is you've arrived at it yourself without that influence, which is honestly worse, because it means you watched people respond to racism with basic human solidarity and your reaction was suspicion rather than any concern about the actual racism. Have a think about which of those sits right with you.
And the "they deserve more than this" thing is where I'd really push back. You've not noticed that you've set yourself up as the person who decides what Black people deserve and what's good for them. Wrapped up in language that sounds quite respectful and warm which is exactly why it's worth flagging. "They're perfectly capable" isn't a compliment you're in a position to hand out. And "I think they deserve more" implies an authority over what that group needs that nobody gave you and you shouldn't assume you have.
None of this is me saying you're awful. But these are real patterns and they do real harm even when the intention is fine.

I think you've got that backwards and assumed everyone is unbothered by lights.
In fact for many people with sensory issues or autism, it could genuinely be the most challenging thing in their life, not because they have no other challenges but because that part of their brain is wired straight to the panic station through no fault of their own.
The OPs neighbours are clearly on another level though, but in general I don't think the 'crack on because you wouldn't be bothered by it' logic is sound when someone else is telling you it isn't for them.

Your house, your lights, your rules- I am with your husband, ignore them.

Oh for fucks sake. These neighbours are RACISTS. Who cares if they're ND or not. Who cares about the lights.

THEY ARE RACIST SCUM and should be reported to the police

Well said!

I changed my vote based on the update not because I am a "woke keyboard warrior" but because the update showed how absolutely awful and unreasonable the neighbours are.

Have you considered those small projectors that play a light show on the entire front of your house?

I’ve just seen your update and I’m so sorry for how horrible some people can be ❤️
I know your husband is probably thinking he can’t be bothered with the escalation of calling the police but I really hope he has a think and decides otherwise. If we don’t stand up to people like this they will always continue to behave like it. We all need to unite and stop it happening to others. It’s not ok that your husband has seen and experienced worst, it’s appalling that he’s been treated this way in his own street about his own house. Please use the footage and report then. If nothing else you’ve made a formal footprint in case anything else happens in the future with these neighbours - in the mean time deck the halls with all the flashing illuminous lights you can find, horrible disgusting people

That’s a great idea. Get a Halloween themed one on the first of October, change the settings to the Christmas images on November the first.