AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

Wow! This took a turn! What a pair of twats

Both things can be true. The couple can be racist dicks and the lights can be tacky as f#ck.

Report to the police, op, but as a non-emergency "I want this on record" thing.

When we moved into a new house a few years ago (we've since left, largely because the neighbours were horrible) one woman a few doors down seemed hellbent on gossiping about us. She'd whisper and point at our door all the time. No idea why. Never had any altercations, we don't have children they might have been annoyed by. The opposite in fact...

Her daughter and their mates kept congregating in my private front garden. Yep, mine. Not her own. One day I went out and asked them to leave. Politely.

Minutes later the mother came round and tried to defend her precious angel. I told her her daughter had been using my garden, as had her mates. She wasn't having it. Started swearing at us. My partner then told her to get off our property.

A few hours later it all kicked off. The husband came by and almost smashed his fist through our door. You know the type "no one talks to my wife like that" and that sort of crap. He then told us he'd come back and hurt us both.

This was during lockdown so no one should have even been near us.

We reported this as a non-emergency, so the police came round the next day and took notes. We asked for no arrest, as imagine living next to them, then. As it was now on record, if anything happened, they'd be immediately arrested. Nothing did, and we sold up soon after.

Both things can be true. The couple can be racist dicks and the lights can be tacky as f#ck.

They’ve been back and it went worse than expected. Some people really are nasty fucks.

They said before they talk about the lights, we need to start keeping our cat inside because it’s using their garden as a toilet. We don’t have a cat and told them that. We have never had a cat.

Next was that we need to not drive out of our driveway at night, but reverse due to the headlights. We are allowed to drive out in daytime. Obviously I said no and that they can’t control what we do.

Next it was unknown cars coming to our house when it’s dark. It needs to stop because they’re unable to sleep. The only ‘unknown’ cars that come here are our friends and family, mostly in the daytime. Obviously I said we can have who we like at our house at any time, day or night. We very rarely have any visitors coming and going late at night.

My husband joined us at this point. They have spoken to him before, in English. They heard him ask me if I was ok, in English, when he joined us. My husband is British, born here, but he isn’t white. They asked him if he spoke English. 🤔 He stayed polite and told them that his English was as good as theirs being as he had lived here his whole life.

They said the current lights need to be removed and we can’t have lights at Xmas. My husband asked what the issue was and they said the flashing. My husband said the current lights that are up do not flash and there is no flash option. The called him a liar. He invited them to come and look at them in the garage to prove it to them but they refused. My husband said that we will make sure the lights at Xmas (which are warm white for those asking) will be on the static setting. They said no, we need to not have them at all. My husband said we will have the lights on our house because it is our house. The man then called my husband a fucking <racial slur> and told him to ‘go home’. My husband said would you like the opportunity to apologise for your racist comments and they said no and walked off. This is all captured on camera.

Our son thinks we should go to the police but my husband said just leave it and unfortunately he has dealt with worse racism, which I know he has as I’ve been with him when he has received it. I’m really fucking angry. He’s quiet.

We have spoken to the couple next door as they text when they heard the neighbours shouting at us, to ask if we were ok. I’ve explained what has happened which was awkward as they are both British but from the same heritage as my husband. This couple have actually done a few jobs to help the racist couple out but said they won’t be doing that again. They are also going to tell the couple next to them about the racism as they are also non white although different heritage.

They are racist bastards and we won’t be talking to them again. So that’s us and at least 2, possibly 3 sets of neighbours who don’t like them because of their moaning and now racist comments.

I’ve asked my husband to please consider reporting this with the footage we have. Our children are also not white and I feel it’s important to show them that we will not accept this for them even if my husband can brush it aside.

We have joked that we’ll be having our lights on the fastest flashing setting we can find this Christmas. Our next door neighbours have said they’ll put lights up from now on. I don’t know if they will but it was nice of them to show their support.

Every second bar/restaurant near me has fairy lights or old fashioned bulb strings criss crossing their outside seating space.

I’ve never come across anyone complaining it’s tacky or migraine inducing, showy or intrusive.

MN is another world sometimes.

It is, though.

I feel being racist more tacky than having lights tbh

Why? because the neighbour is racist?

I doubt they give her a migraine, she probably just thinks they are tacky as hell but couldn’t find a nice way to say it. No doubt all your other neighbours are quietly thinking the same.

They’ve been back and it went worse than expected. Some people really are nasty fucks.

They said before they talk about the lights, we need to start keeping our cat inside because it’s using their garden as a toilet. We don’t have a cat and told them that. We have never had a cat.

Next was that we need to not drive out of our driveway at night, but reverse due to the headlights. We are allowed to drive out in daytime. Obviously I said no and that they can’t control what we do.

Next it was unknown cars coming to our house when it’s dark. It needs to stop because they’re unable to sleep. The only ‘unknown’ cars that come here are our friends and family, mostly in the daytime. Obviously I said we can have who we like at our house at any time, day or night. We very rarely have any visitors coming and going late at night.

My husband joined us at this point. They have spoken to him before, in English. They heard him ask me if I was ok, in English, when he joined us. My husband is British, born here, but he isn’t white. They asked him if he spoke English. 🤔 He stayed polite and told them that his English was as good as theirs being as he had lived here his whole life.

They said the current lights need to be removed and we can’t have lights at Xmas. My husband asked what the issue was and they said the flashing. My husband said the current lights that are up do not flash and there is no flash option. The called him a liar. He invited them to come and look at them in the garage to prove it to them but they refused. My husband said that we will make sure the lights at Xmas (which are warm white for those asking) will be on the static setting. They said no, we need to not have them at all. My husband said we will have the lights on our house because it is our house. The man then called my husband a fucking <racial slur> and told him to ‘go home’. My husband said would you like the opportunity to apologise for your racist comments and they said no and walked off. This is all captured on camera.

Our son thinks we should go to the police but my husband said just leave it and unfortunately he has dealt with worse racism, which I know he has as I’ve been with him when he has received it. I’m really fucking angry. He’s quiet.

We have spoken to the couple next door as they text when they heard the neighbours shouting at us, to ask if we were ok. I’ve explained what has happened which was awkward as they are both British but from the same heritage as my husband. This couple have actually done a few jobs to help the racist couple out but said they won’t be doing that again. They are also going to tell the couple next to them about the racism as they are also non white although different heritage.

They are racist bastards and we won’t be talking to them again. So that’s us and at least 2, possibly 3 sets of neighbours who don’t like them because of their moaning and now racist comments.

I’ve asked my husband to please consider reporting this with the footage we have. Our children are also not white and I feel it’s important to show them that we will not accept this for them even if my husband can brush it aside.

We have joked that we’ll be having our lights on the fastest flashing setting we can find this Christmas. Our next door neighbours have said they’ll put lights up from now on. I don’t know if they will but it was nice of them to show their support.

lol at autumn! Kids are still on summer hols, don’t wish your life away!

You were right about them and spotting their pattern of controlling behaviour but to ramp it up to racial slurs is absolutely unforgivable.

I understand your husband brushing it off if he's received worse in the past but he shouldn't have to live on a road where blatant racism goes unchallenged. They need to be warned by the police not to do it again.

I so hope your road becomes the brightest road in the neighbourhood come December 1st!