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AIBU?

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AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

1000 replies

AutumnLighting · 01/09/2026 22:51

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 02/09/2026 21:23

I love the idea of all the nice neighbours in your street buying the largest, most tacky decorations they can find and filing their front gardens with them! The way they are backing you up gives me hope for this country! Good on you for reporting and showing your kids that this is totally unacceptable (but of course so sorry you had to deal with this).

SweatySpider321 · 02/09/2026 21:20

😮 yep, l would definitely report them. They are vile with their racist slurs. They can stick their random controlling bonkers rules

tomatoplants · 02/09/2026 21:16

@AutumnLightingI’m so sorry to read your updates but glad you are reporting. What horrible people.

For what it’s worth your lights sound subtle and lovely.

absolute racists bastards and disgusting behaviour from them. And some on this thread! Some people should be truly ashamed of themselves.

I guess the positive that has come from it is that the other neighbours have pulled together and supported you.

I hope you all have a wonderful sparkly Christmas with lots of lovely lights and joy with the nice neighbours.

tomatoplants · 02/09/2026 21:13

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:31

I'll be deleted again for asking this I'm sure, but can you read?

It’s actually driving me mad now - why don’t people RTFT?!

even just the OP updates. Infuriating

JamJar187 · 02/09/2026 21:08

AutumnLighting · 02/09/2026 20:15

We are going to report them. My husband was really quiet all day but we’ve spoken with our kids and we have all agreed that it’s important that it is reported.

We will be keeping our lights up and will still put them up at Christmas.

3 neighbours have now said they’ll put lights up this year in solidarity and they will be flashing. 😂 Apparently one of them had lights until 3 years ago as their grandchildren got older and they stopped! They showed us a photo and ours are nothing in comparison. No complaints were made to them but they are white. They were really lovely and came to see us having found out what happened from another neighbour. They usually take in parcels for the racists and water their garden when they’re on holiday but said they won’t be doing any of it now.

The racists have annoyed every single one of their neighbours and will now be reported as well.

The obvious racist posters here actually helped us decide to report them, so although you disgust me, you have been useful. Now fuck off.

Thank you for the supportive posts. They have been really nice to read.

Fingers crossed that your awful neighbours get a lovely criminal record each for their appalling racism.

Good that your other neighbours are supportive - just goes to show how bad the racist ones are. They'll get their comeuppance one day. Deservedly so.

placemats · 02/09/2026 21:04

AutumnLighting · 02/09/2026 20:15

We are going to report them. My husband was really quiet all day but we’ve spoken with our kids and we have all agreed that it’s important that it is reported.

We will be keeping our lights up and will still put them up at Christmas.

3 neighbours have now said they’ll put lights up this year in solidarity and they will be flashing. 😂 Apparently one of them had lights until 3 years ago as their grandchildren got older and they stopped! They showed us a photo and ours are nothing in comparison. No complaints were made to them but they are white. They were really lovely and came to see us having found out what happened from another neighbour. They usually take in parcels for the racists and water their garden when they’re on holiday but said they won’t be doing any of it now.

The racists have annoyed every single one of their neighbours and will now be reported as well.

The obvious racist posters here actually helped us decide to report them, so although you disgust me, you have been useful. Now fuck off.

Thank you for the supportive posts. They have been really nice to read.

Love your update. It's a terrible shock to be so horribly attacked by racist slurs and your nationality questioned within your own home. No wonder your husband was quiet. Well done to your lovely neighbours for the full support.

hiddeneverythin · 02/09/2026 21:03

Sorry to hear this has happened OP. You are doing the right thing by reporting it to the police (and I know about these things!) Please let us know how you get on x

HutchMadras · 02/09/2026 20:59

Soitshoteh · 02/09/2026 20:28

so theres this little button at the top of the page right under the OP that allows you to read all the updates on one page! hope that helps

that does help, thanks!

Fledgedup · 02/09/2026 20:59

Fledgedup · 02/09/2026 20:33

Omg this.
I get migraines from being unreasonable any type of moving vehicle going past hedges with sunlight coming through. Or walking past them.
I also get flicker vertigo from moving lights. I cant have candles for that reason. In December, I have trouble walking up my street and cant go out after dark because of all the flashing lights on hiuses. I lose my balance.
OP, I dont think there is anything wrong with decorating for Autumn, do it myself indoors. 🍁🍂But, if your neighbour really does have migraines, it would be kind to consider turning your lights off, and certainly making sure your Christmas ones are static. 😊

Apologies. I was so excited to see someone else with chronic sensitivity to light that I didnt read the full thread.
OP, I am so sorry your husband has experienced disgusting racism from these people, and support you in putting your lights on the fastest, brightest, strobiest setting from now on

NotMeAtAll · 02/09/2026 20:58

mummalog · 02/09/2026 20:11

Please buy a massive giant inflatable Santa 😂

With strobe lights for eyes!

worldshottestmom · 02/09/2026 20:56

PrawnFree · 02/09/2026 18:27

Sadly, the main thing I’ve learnt from reading MN is how many stupid people there are who are totally lacking in comprehension and powers of reasoning.
I never would have known what goes on in other people’s minds and I think I preferred not knowing.

Said the neighbour

HeyPrune · 02/09/2026 20:56

Good for you for reporting them and their racism. I am sorry that happened to you and your family, but lovely to read about the solidarity of your other neighbours 😊

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:50

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:40

I am totally without flex, love. No flex intended.

Not really wanting to go off on a trajectory here. But (since I deleted my initial post having read the OP's later updates, as OF COURSE all MNers should do, always) my initial post was glib and a bit snarky about unseasonal fairy lights. When I did go back and read the OP's later posts and realised what she was up against, I deleted and posted an apology. No flex, just genuine apology. Not sure what point you're trying to make here.

Wasn't trying to make a point, just responding to the 'ner ner' thumbing your nose at me response that your 20:29 post appeared to be.
Anyway, this thread isn't about us. Peace.

UncannyFanny · 02/09/2026 20:50

Good for you. They can’t be allowed to think behaviour like that will not be challenged.

Beancounter69 · 02/09/2026 20:50

Well done for reporting it @AutumnLighting - it’s not easy, but is the right thing for many reasons x

LifeAirport · 02/09/2026 20:48

AutumnLighting · 02/09/2026 20:15

We are going to report them. My husband was really quiet all day but we’ve spoken with our kids and we have all agreed that it’s important that it is reported.

We will be keeping our lights up and will still put them up at Christmas.

3 neighbours have now said they’ll put lights up this year in solidarity and they will be flashing. 😂 Apparently one of them had lights until 3 years ago as their grandchildren got older and they stopped! They showed us a photo and ours are nothing in comparison. No complaints were made to them but they are white. They were really lovely and came to see us having found out what happened from another neighbour. They usually take in parcels for the racists and water their garden when they’re on holiday but said they won’t be doing any of it now.

The racists have annoyed every single one of their neighbours and will now be reported as well.

The obvious racist posters here actually helped us decide to report them, so although you disgust me, you have been useful. Now fuck off.

Thank you for the supportive posts. They have been really nice to read.

Well done. And thank goodness you have other decent neighbours.

I probably wouldn’t encourage the flashing light thing but agree with everything else!

SapphireSeptember · 02/09/2026 20:46

Bloody hell @AutumnLighting , that escalated quickly! Enjoy your lights, and well done for reporting the bastards. ❤️

For anyone wondering, Halloween fairy lights are a thing, and Samhein (Halloween) is a fire festival, so things like fairy lights, candles and bonfires are perfectly appropriate. 🎃

ClearFruit · 02/09/2026 20:41

Report those horrible people. Enjoy your lights!

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:40

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/09/2026 20:32

Everyone can still read your edit though so it's not the flex you think it is.

I am totally without flex, love. No flex intended.

Not really wanting to go off on a trajectory here. But (since I deleted my initial post having read the OP's later updates, as OF COURSE all MNers should do, always) my initial post was glib and a bit snarky about unseasonal fairy lights. When I did go back and read the OP's later posts and realised what she was up against, I deleted and posted an apology. No flex, just genuine apology. Not sure what point you're trying to make here.

LLM21 · 02/09/2026 20:39

AutumnLighting · 02/09/2026 20:15

We are going to report them. My husband was really quiet all day but we’ve spoken with our kids and we have all agreed that it’s important that it is reported.

We will be keeping our lights up and will still put them up at Christmas.

3 neighbours have now said they’ll put lights up this year in solidarity and they will be flashing. 😂 Apparently one of them had lights until 3 years ago as their grandchildren got older and they stopped! They showed us a photo and ours are nothing in comparison. No complaints were made to them but they are white. They were really lovely and came to see us having found out what happened from another neighbour. They usually take in parcels for the racists and water their garden when they’re on holiday but said they won’t be doing any of it now.

The racists have annoyed every single one of their neighbours and will now be reported as well.

The obvious racist posters here actually helped us decide to report them, so although you disgust me, you have been useful. Now fuck off.

Thank you for the supportive posts. They have been really nice to read.

Enjoy your lights... more the merrier i say 😆

LilloLil · 02/09/2026 20:38

Fledgedup · 02/09/2026 20:33

Omg this.
I get migraines from being unreasonable any type of moving vehicle going past hedges with sunlight coming through. Or walking past them.
I also get flicker vertigo from moving lights. I cant have candles for that reason. In December, I have trouble walking up my street and cant go out after dark because of all the flashing lights on hiuses. I lose my balance.
OP, I dont think there is anything wrong with decorating for Autumn, do it myself indoors. 🍁🍂But, if your neighbour really does have migraines, it would be kind to consider turning your lights off, and certainly making sure your Christmas ones are static. 😊

I fecking HATE flashing lights but I might put some up now just to support the OP

GlomOfNit · 02/09/2026 20:36

LittleMi55Nobody · 02/09/2026 20:29

are you the neighbour ??

lol, no! 😂 What a strange thing to say. Given the neighbours appear to be utterly unhinged as well as horribly racist, I don't think they're the type to backtrack and eat humble pie.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/09/2026 20:35

unabashedopossum · 02/09/2026 11:12

Given that these neighbours have racially abused the OP’s husband, your use of “those people” is pretty unpalatable. I suggest you read the OP’s posts before commenting on threads to avoid unwittingly looking like a racist in future.

Edited

If you RTFT then you'll see that I not only withdrew that comment about 3 minutes later but apologised unreservedly for not RTFT. I suggest you RTFT. 🙄

LilloLil · 02/09/2026 20:33

MellersSmellers · 02/09/2026 20:30

Be neighbourly. Go and talk to her and come to a compromise.
I would tolerate Christmas lights but what's with the Autumn lights?? That's not even a thing!

What an absolute innovative thought after nine hundred posts.

Fledgedup · 02/09/2026 20:33

BadHabitat · 02/09/2026 01:32

Even if you have them on
static, there is a flashing strobe effect from the wind moving trees! I sympathise with your neighbour, I got a migraine while out running through trees on a sunny day.

Omg this.
I get migraines from being unreasonable any type of moving vehicle going past hedges with sunlight coming through. Or walking past them.
I also get flicker vertigo from moving lights. I cant have candles for that reason. In December, I have trouble walking up my street and cant go out after dark because of all the flashing lights on hiuses. I lose my balance.
OP, I dont think there is anything wrong with decorating for Autumn, do it myself indoors. 🍁🍂But, if your neighbour really does have migraines, it would be kind to consider turning your lights off, and certainly making sure your Christmas ones are static. 😊

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