AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

Can everyone stop replying to this and see my latest post after! I didn’t see the flipping update, jeez. Stop the pile on already!

How do you feel about the racist abuse from the neighbours?

Racism is a crime. Harassment is a crime.

The benefits of reporting to the police:

1. if they take action it might stop further behaviour.
2. even if they don’t take it further it gets counted in statistics which informs policy.
3. it’s the start of logging the behaviour in case it escalates.

Ok?

No! It’s because they have awful neighbours who have harassed them (and other neighbours) and have been racist.

I hate lots of lights on houses. It’s not my taste and I don’t like the flashing. Had the neighbours not been such racist twunts I’d have suggested the OP considered limiting the time the lights were on may be.

However, not because of the colour of their skin, but because of the awful horrid racist neighbours I’d love all the houses on the street to go full on neon. It’s the awful behaviour that makes me change my stance.

no. Some of my plants are lit all year.

Dont people normally close their curtains when it gets dark anyway..?

Wow OP, read your updates as your initial post had an update to read the thread. They are racist bigots, and I actually think it's worth reporting;

A) Because people need to understand they can't racially abuse people, whether neighbours or not - it wouldn't have mattered whether your husband was born here or not, it's completely unacceptable.

B) Because they may do or say other things going forward, it's better to report from the first incident so that police have a clear history of what's been happening.

Obviously, as it was your husband who has been racially abused, the decision mainly lies with him. But it's not OK. As for the lights, apologies but BOLLOCKS to them OP, you've done absolutely NOTHING wrong. If you feel you should keep your half of the bargain by keeping the flash setting off, fine but I wouldn't be taking anything down - that ship would have sailed the moment they started abusing me on my own property!

Having seen that poster on other threads, in my view her response is true to form.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I think you need to report this, don’t let them away with it. It’s a hate crime

they are also low life low rent thick as shit arseholes. And you need to handle this through the Proper channels

It all sounds a bit Stacey Solomon. Erring on tacky. Less is more.

I wouldn’t like the lights if I could see them from inside my house - otherwise I’d just laugh at them.

However, I wouldn’t like the nosy/racist/nutty neighbours either so I’d have an eye on selling my house in the future.

They may have younger nosy/racist/nutty/aggressive relatives as well.

I had years of this shit from an aggressive male neighbour who was prejudiced against me for 2 reasons.

He tried to make my life a misery but I didn’t rise to the bait because I knew he’d compile a grievance list against me so I gave him no ammunition.

I also didn’t want to have to disclose a neighbour dispute when selling the house - which may have reduced the price.

If this was a work, social or any other setting I’d go to the police but in a neighbourhood setting it’s worth considering whether revenge could backfire- then they would have really won.

Ok. Read the update. They are assole. But, serious question; what do we think the guard can do?

It’s hardly in the spirit of Christmas to do things deliberately to upset other people

Ptawnfree - Bah humbug to you !

Currently have lights in side one room permanently

Also put up many lights outside at Xmas

Have not received any complaints

Contemplating buying some huge blow up characters for Xmas too...

I have been thinking about your original post. I'm sorry but your decorations sound so tacky. Have you ever heard of the Griswolds?

I don’t think anyone is pretending to like the lights when they don’t….

Oh the irony of telling me I'm shutting down debate when your original post was essentially "people are being too nice to a Black family." (its not been specified that they're black btw, not that it matters but its interesting that you think black people get special treatment )
My "shutdown" happened because I didn't think a take that daft deserved more than "that's fucking insane." But since you've cast yourself as the calm reasonable voice of dialogue here, fine, let's actually do this.
You said people made "allowances" for the lights because the OP's partner isn't white. That didn't happen. Go and read the thread back. Nobody's opinion budged because of anyone's skin colour. And honestly that's just not how normal people think. People who aren't racist don't sit there clocking someone's race and quietly adjusting what they'll let slide. That whole idea, that there's this silent system of racial favouritism going on where minorities get the benefit of the doubt, that lives in the heads of people who actually do think that way about race themselves and assume everyone else must be at it too.
People changed their minds because the neighbours invented a cat, demanded they reverse out of their own driveway at night, and then hurled a racial slur at a British born man on camera.Nothing to do with his skin colour, everything to do with the neighbours being exactly what they appear to be.

Your DH won’t have been the first, second, fifth or tenth person to be on the receiving end of their racism. It’s hard but you/we have to tackle each and every instance of racism head on otherwise they just are emboldened and feel they can carry on. For all you know, the police already know - you’ve been there under a year. No need to be obnoxious (eg installing bigger and brighter or more lights). Just be sensible and take this seriously.

As I tell my DC every time this shit happens: nobody treats us this way and gets away with it. The law is finally, thanks to the generations who went before us, on our side. We should use it.

A friend had a similar issue after they moved to a new area.

The friend had done absolutely nothing wrong

The neighbour insisted that friend could not do X, Y, Z

The local community police assisted

They sound awful - ignore them but have your lights on a no flash setting and turn off at bedtime. Save the recording of them being abusive and racist in case you need it at a later date.
ps get a herd of cats!! 🐈‍⬛

I’ve read the full thread and abhor racists.

I still agree with what the poster you challenged said

No…the 2 things are separate…unless you are saying a big Christmas light display means someone anywhere is automatically anti racist ?

The liking or not liking light pollution is separate to being a nasty racist in the comments commentators here and not a means to silence them

"... The man then called my husband a fucking <racial slur> and told him to ‘go home’. My husband said would you like the opportunity to apologise for your racist comments and they said no and walked off. This is all captured on camera."
I'm another that thinks you should take this to the police. Why? Because I think there's a possibility that this pair will not restrict themselves to moaning. If this escalates in any way - and I think it could - then this already being on file would be best.

As to the lights - you describe it as a lane with six houses all set back a fair distance, would it be fair to say you're not overburdened with street lighting? I think 'autumn lighting' sounds nice! And from how you describe the hedges, I think she'd have to be craning her neck so see it at all. Maybe it's not a migraine, it's neck overstretch? Not that it's migraine at all, that's just to embelish their moan.

That’s very petty and vindictive of you

hello countess
re your point 1) I understand the principle of rethinking ' what has been said in disagreements' later in peace and quiet and that is often when we notice elements that we did not see in the heat of the argument.
point 2) bright lights or racism.both can be true.
I can dislike both of those things,
I don't like bright lights up for 4 months of the year, Of course I could pretend I like them, just to show solidarity, but I won't because this goes against all my principles of honesty and I feel it is insulting to the agency of the black person (in this case) They like lights up a lot of the time. That is their perfect right. They have to accept that other people (both black and white) may not have the same opinion. It's got nothing to do with race.

OP’s dh has a right to live in his own country without idiots telling him to go home. yes, absolutely!