To never do them a favour again?

This is what I though too.

"I agreed not to bill for this work - thus it will be low priority around my other paid work, as you would expect.

As you know I have been ill and unable to work.

I was not informed of and did not agree to a deadline. This deadline of ''x" is news to me. Can that be moved to "x"? if it cant be moved I wont be able to complete this to the expected standards in such a short time."

I think when you offer to do someone a favour you don't then get to just do it when an dhow it suits you. I think the mistake here is that you and your SIL don't appear to have agreed on a timeline up front? I have done a few work favours for friends over the years, but I always say when I'll do it by and if there's a problem, I'll let them know.

Even more cheek to chase you without sending the right information in the first place!!
And he hasn't even bothered to apologise or even reply?

Well that makes things a lot easier!

I hope you feel better soon OP, you could have done without this hooha.
When its over I'd follow up with @SomeOtherUser 's point about familial courtesy too.

YABU to offer to do it for free. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Just reply and say, "Oh, sorry! As I waived your fee as a family member, I assumed I would receive familial courtesy in return when you know I have been unwell, but of course I won't blame you if you want to pay someone else to do it instead."

Definitely go back to bil and mil and say you're not well and doing them a favour by doing it for free and paid work takes priority so you'll get to it when you can but would appreciate them not offering your services for free in future. Then also respond to the client, say you have been unwell and we're told this was a one off favour and were not given a deadline. Explain you have work from paying customers which you need to do prioritise but if he can afford to wait you can do this as a one off when you have time.

“BIL, when you asked me to do this favour for you, you did not tell me that you have a deadline in 2 weeks.

If you had told me that, I would have explained that I cannot fit this favour in before that deadline.

Obviously my paying clients take priority (as per the contracts I have signed with them), and so I can only fit favours in when I have time.

So I’ll post your paperwork back to you tomorrow, and you’ll need to find somebody else to complete this work for you.

Best wishes”

And absolutely do not recommend somebody to them - they will then blame you if they have any issues with that person or think their fee is too high or whatever, this is all just not your problem and nothing to do with you!

(former lawyer - voice of bitter experience!)

'When I take on free work as favours to friends/family, it is on the understanding that it is done as and when I have time for it around my own life, commitments and other paying clients. If that does not suit you please feel free to take it to someone else'.

And then read the riot act to anyone offering your services without asking you first!

I've voted YABU but only for doing it at all now - cheeky fuckers! Tell them all to get fucked!

Is it rax related? If so tell him to piss off and hire an accountant

In my opinion OP, you're being unreasonable to even bother doing it, after the way they're treating you. I'd give him the stuff back, and tell him to pay someone if he wants to be able to dictate when the work is done. Cheeky Fucker!!

Yes, something like this.

He sounds a bit neurotic. Definitely say MIL volunteered you. Do the work, hand it back, and then make it plain that that is the last time you are EVER doing anything for any of them again as they have behaved badly.

sorry, I am unable to meet the deadline. But no worries, I will give you a full refund of the fee you paid.

I agree with all the posts saying not informed of their deadline, you've been ill and have to prioritise paying clients, but if he needs it done more urgently than (date) here's some contacts of people who could do it more quickly adding "I wouldn't let them charge you more than ( £ inflated amount) It would be also be fun, to add

"and BTW, was it really necessary to appoint MIL as your project manager?

"It’s not paid, it would have cost easily 4 figures"

Then I think you should hand him his paperwork back and say it's best he takes it to another professional as your illness makes you unable to meet his undisclosed deadline.

And I'd be taking your MIL to one side end giving her a ticking off whilst I was at it. Do not EVER allow her to back you into a corner again. To be honest, there's a risk she'll pull this stunt on you again, maybe to a friend of hers, say. Stamp down on this, HARD. FIL can whistle Dixie in future too, if this is a service that would otherwise be recurring.

His rudeness is unforgivable.

You now have the measure of the lot of them.

I bet he didn't tell you about the deadline because he assumed you'd just drop everything and do it right away. I'd suggest you give him a date that you can reasonably have it done by. If that date doesn't suit him then he can find someone else to be rude to.

Yep. I'm freelance and if I was put in this position that would fuel my ire as much as the expectation I'd work for free - the fact that I'd been put in a position where I had the choice between labouring away for no money, and feeling like I was being unprofessional if I was late turning the unpaid work in! It definitely rubs salt into the wound. I've been in that position before, and I'm a lot more discerning now about what I will and won't do for free.

I’d reply:

As you know, I’ve been ill and so I haven’t been able to do this. I didn’t realise there was a deadline - you didn’t mention this before - and I’m still not fully recovered so won’t be able to meet the deadline. I’m sorry but you’ll need to find someone else as I need to take further time to recover.

Then never agree again. If they ask again tell them you have a lot of paid work on currently so no space to do free work.

Cheeky sods.

Next time go for a "oh mil is daft as a brush. I have to eat! I can give you a quote for what you need though"
Then quote at least 2 x what you'd charge as standard.

This is how builders get out of doing jobs they dont fancy....

The OP didn't offer to do it free within a specific timeline. She wasn't given a timescale, and was pressganged into doing it free of charge by someone else. She's been ill and although they know that, they are now chasing her and giving her a deadline. That is downright cheeky of them, so telling them they can either wait until she can fit it in or feel free to pay someone else to do it is entirely reasonable.

As others have said, hand back the paperwork and tell him as you haven’t met his deadline that he neglected to tell you about, he will need to go elsewhere for this service and pay for it. Tight fucker for not offering anything in the first place.

I would ignore your MIL as this has nothing to do with her or anyone else.

I agree it’s outrageous but even if you are not getting paid you do need to maintain your professional standards. If I was op I would hate that a few people now think I’m rubbish however unfairly.

If you agree to do it even for free you have to do it to a high standard. The answer is to never give freebies. As pps rightly say you are never appreciated anyway and would
actually get more respect if you charged your time.

I agree with this. I’m a (retired) solicitor and have voluntarily given advice to people free of charge over the years. Very few people are truly grateful. My final straw was after I helped someone avoid a driving disqualification. I received a somewhat cursory thank you afterwards, followed by, “that would have cost me about £200 had I gone to a qualified lawyer.” I assured them in no uncertain terms that my hourly charging rate was significantly higher than that. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

The other thing I’ve learned is that if your advice is something they don’t particularly want to hear, then that is inevitably because, “we all know that lawyers are useless!”. Yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of that one too.

@Pipiscoming2023 I would follow the advice of others on this thread and hand the work back to your BIL. The whole family has gone beyond taking you for granted and it’s completely unacceptable. I hope you feel better soon.

If I couldn't do it by his deadline, I'd tell him that straight away, tell him if he had told me about the deadline I wouldn't have accepted it as its not possible, and give him recommendations where to get it done within the timeline
If I could do it, I'd push it through as I've already agreed to do it and would feel obliged.
And most important - never do it again for free for any member of the family - including FiL. 'Sorry after the last debacle with SiL partner when I was ill and I was forced to rush it through for an uncommunicated deadline whilst sick, I promised myself I will keep everything on a professional basis from now on only'.
When MiL volunteers you again, either say no or send through a business proposal for the work with your expected fee, like any other referral.