AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not let me join padel?

I would agree with this except that he went on and on about how much she’d enjoy it first. Irritating that he’s now changed his mind.

But, it’s still his thing. It might be easier to find a different sport and let him have whatever rating he can get.

He might not want you to join because he’s so bad at it and he can’t afford to lose any more points. Maybe if he was better at it he’d be more ok with you joining him, but because he’s so bad every point counts so he wants to stand a chance of maintaining some ranking.

But he wouldn’t mind another friend bringing their wife. It’s just his own wife who he doesn’t want to be seen with.
I’d be very hurt, and I’d make sure I went and lived my best life op. Hobbies? Go for it. Forget about planning to be home because he will be out or someone has to do the housework. Let it go - prioritise yourself as much as he prioritises himself, and prioritise him as much as he prioritises you.

People are weird about padel OP.

I have friends exactly like this - they refuse to play with certain people (even though they are not exactly good themselves), get really snobby as soon as they've won a few games, refuse to play 'just for fun' because apparently thats not actually fun?

But yeah if you want to play - just go and play without your DH!

Join if you want to. You don't need his permission.

You could just have your own partner/s, not him. Or is there a different padel club you could join?

@Hyperbolically thats a whole new level of commitment to revenge. I bow in respect 😆

We are Padel crazy in our house. Please go and have some lessons at your local club. You will meet people of the same level and in turn games will get organized. Don't rely on your DH for games. I know playtomic ratings are the holy Grail of British players, we are in Spain and it's not like that at all and you won't change that opinion for your DH. It's such a fun sport...good luck

He's allowed to play a game without you, stop being so clingy. You can play against different people at a different time if you really want to.

I would be annoyed because he made a big fuss about you going and now doesn’t want you to go. I think a joint hobby can be fun although I think couples also need individual hobbies. I wouldn’t be keen if I had a hobby I enjoyed and my husband decided he wanted to come too if I thought it would affect friendships I had made although other things we do together. I wouldn’t suggest he come along in that case though. If you genuinely enjoy it then go at a different time to him.

Surely it took you longer to type that (not to mention waiting for a reply) than it would to google it? Bonkers

He was probably expecting you to do the same again!

Next time he’ll likely keep quiet.

Find your own hobby.

You’ve definitely made me more determined to take it up.

I hope you turn out to be bloody brilliant at it and then not let him play with you (I bet he'd want to then) because he'd bring your ratings down.

Petty, moi?

hope no-one indulges this!!

It takes 1 min. Or you just ignore the thread as you don’t know what OP is talking about and “too lazy” to look it up.

Sorry to say, OP, but even though people play mixed gender pádel all the time, it’s a bit addictive and it’s quite common to want to get better ASAP (I call it my only healthy addiction), and for that, I can see how your DH would want to play with other blokes. Doesn’t mean you can’t play “socially” with your husband and kids outside of whatever apps calculate your ratings, that’s always possible, and it’s a bit mean of ur DH to not just book a court for u 4 and please u; but frankly I found it easier and more socially rewarding to work out my own little group of female playing mates.
Do not let these funny dynamics stop you from enjoying it, it’s absolutely brilliant and the fastest growing sport in the world for a good reason.

Padel is a fast‑growing racket sport that sits somewhere between tennis and squash. It’s designed to be easy to pick up, very sociable, and much less technically intimidating than tennis.

We have a padel social. Anyone who wants to play - can say when they are available and match with other players.

Well, she said they all went and played once.

That doesn't mean all the family can go and play together regularly.
As this is written at the end of the school holidays (in England and Wales) it is quite like dc were available / bored / willing to humour their parents once in the holidays, but might well have other commitments in term time and / or might not want to spend their relaxation time with their parents (not knowing their ages).

I agree. He is enjoying the time to do his hobby away from family
That's fine.
Make sure you organise your own group of 4 so you can play on another night.
X

I think YABU to want to go with him and his mates.

I would be miffed if one of my friends invited her husband/partner to one of our women group things. It just completely changes the dynamics.

Could you and your husband arrange to go together with another couple at a different time?

The 2 padel places I know (my kids and one of their partners play) have coaching for beginners. You might make new friends, partner up with someone and eventually end up higher up in the league than your husband. 🤩 That might cause a problem though. 😳

I could've written this myself, OP. My DH has been banging on about padel for yonks, encouraging me to join, but won't actually play doubles with me because he's a 2.5. I've had to play ladies americanos instead. Tbf from the way he speaks about his padel partner it's probably saved our marriage that we don't play together.

Just join a beginner padel group and do your own padel journey

you might get better than him and make nice new friends

no need for him to hold your hand

my husband and I play racquet sports but we are not even at the same club haha

I wonder whether he wanted to show you all what it was all about, show off to you all and then have you go home and tell him how exciting his new hobby is, he’s clearly brilliant at it and you can see it’s a lot of fun? I don’t think he expected that you’d enjoy it so much that you’d want to do it as well. And I think he feels like you’d spoil his fun.

I do think it’s a good idea not to be in each other’s pockets all the time and to have separate interests. But I think it’s also important to try and do things that you both enjoy, together. You’re married to each other; you’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company and I think it’s quite sad that he’s not interested in the two of you doing something you enjoy together.

I strongly suggest you find a different padel group. I think you should put all of your effort into getting brilliant at it, arrange a tournament with his group and then thoroughly destroy him.

if you enjoyed padel you will enjoy pickleball too and for pickleball there are plenty of socials, where you come and play with different people. I actually prefer pickle to paddle for that exact reason.