AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not let me join padel?

Well almost all of the top 100 men in the world rankings are Spanish, so clearly a lot of people there are taking it pretty bloody seriously!

If you ask at the padel courts, you may find a group looking for a player
Or, get your children to drum up a friend and you have your 4 for a game.
Let your husband have his "playtime" with his mates, hopefully you and your children will improve and smash his rankings!

Your husband hasn’t banned you, he just doesn’t want to play with you. He gets something out playing this sport independently and you should respect that.

Sign up on your own. There will be paths for beginners.

And what are your hobbies?

I'm not very familiar with padel but he's obviously been doing it for a while, now wants to improve his ranking, and enjoys the competition of it.

If you'd started off playing together and he was cutting you, I'd be more sympathetic, but you've gone to one 45 minute session.

Bucking the trend to the theead but its a YABU for me.

I've heard that about Padel in the UK, it's not like that at all in Spain. We don't take it or ourselves to seriously. My son is filling in tonight with my old ladies group...he is 24 and the average age of the women playing is about 55 😂...he's told to wear a skirt 🫣😂

This

I'd endeavour to find my own team on a different night, when he's available to mind the kids.

its not that he wouldn't mind, he just wouldn't say anything. just like most people wouldn't.

My guess is this is close to the mark.

A lot of men (massive generalisation, NAMALT, SWALT/WDIT etc) are a bit selfish.
But very, very few men acknowledge this about themselves. Most of them believe that they are really good guys.

So maybe:
He was at work or with mates, wanging on about how brilliant padel is.
Somebody said, oh, don't you already do darts, squash and fishing? Doesn't your wife mind?
And he said, and has probably talked himself into believing, "oh she doesn't want to do any of that stuff. She's not sporty. She likes being at home. She likes the peace and quiet. She's happy.
And then felt a tiny prick of conscience.
And went home and encouraged you to try it, subconsciously hoping you would try once then not want to go again, and he could polish his good guy halo that he tried and confirmed that his wife is content and happy to sit at home doing nothing, instead of cramping his style or whatever.

Check out if the place does beginners social padel. It’s great fun. You turn up on your own and you play with everyone else in the group.

He sounds absolutely ghastly. Does he have form for this sort of childish, semi-abusive behaviour. He’s angry because you’re hurt that he encouraged you to go and then said he didn’t want you to?
Before everyone piles on and says it’s healthy for couples to have separate hobbies, obviously I agree with that - but this is a man who ALREADY has darts, squash and fishing as hobbies. Sounds to me as if he does nothing BUT hobbies. If he works as well, he can barely be at home. So the argument that he “needs an escape” doesn’t hold up.
OP - who knows the real reasons for his behaviour over this; it could be many things and I don’t think there’s an awful lot you can do about it right now. But if it was me, I wouldn’t forget it. PPs have suggested playing with separate groups and even improving so you can actually beat him. There’s merit in those suggestions if that is what you want to do, but actually I think you also need to approach this from a more fundamental angle - detach yourself emotionally and prioritise him at the same level he priorities you - which is to say, not very much.

He has darts, fishing and squash already, much more separate hobbies and he’ll forget his wife’s name

He’s a nasty piece of work! Go to the padel on your own and play against other people and ignore your husband being there. You are probably better than he is and he doesn’t like that!

Does sound like he gave you mixed messages about whether he wants you to be a part of it or not OP, which isn't really fair.

I think it's healthy for couples to have separate hobbies tbh. But as pp have said that doesn't stop you playing it separately to him OP.

@Treebaubles FWIW my DS generally recommends NOT playing with your spouse or partner, even if your standards are similar, unless both parties are really, really keen to do so as it can often end in tears...

He's a professional padel (and tennis) coach and works out of a big London club.

Whatever the issue giving you the silent treatment is never ok.
If you enjoy it find other people to play with.
He is being a dick about it.
He should be happy you've found a sport you can do with your medical issue.

Can you not just go on a different night to him so you won’t be participating at the same time?

He probably just wants to have something that is only his, have fun with the boys away from the family to escape for a moment. Imagine you had a weekly coffee catch up with your girlfriends and he kept inviting himself over because he likes coffee. Let him have it

I play padel (as does my partner) but he is way better than me as he's played tennis for most of his life. When I started out, I took lessons and found groups at my local padel club with a combination of levels, as it's good to play with someone who can actually play at first so you learn off them. I would recommend lessons in a group, then seeing if you can arrange to play with the group levels.

After 18 months my partner will now play with me, but there is a lot of eye rolling as he will always be better than me, but I am improving, and he does give me tips. I would however rather play with other people who are less critical!! As he points out, it isn't much fun for him at his level to play with a beginner, as he wants a good game. I can see his point!

most padel places have singles courts too for 2 players. they are the same length just narrower. why not let him have his hobby game then book a singles court for the 2 of you on top of that. we do this, have a family game at the weekend and just me and the husband on a weeknight - fitness has improved enormously thanks to the singles court.

Me and my DH starting playing padel a few years ago and at the time hardly anyone was playing (not like now) and we only had 2 other couples to play against. Both couples went on holiday at the same time so then we had no-one to play. We decided to throw ourselves into the socials on offer at the club and we also joined separate male and female mix-ins. I'm so glad we did, we now have a huge group of similar level people we can ask to play so get games 2 or 3 times per week. I would definitely just go for the socials and let him get on with his own game if you're enjoying it and want to play more.

This sounds sensible.

Him getting really angry over it is not on, though. What’s he usually like?

In the time it took you to type that, you could have googled. What a pointless post.

Surely there's a beginners group you can join?