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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt husband left me walking back alone in pain

47 replies

LilyRae123 · 01/09/2026 21:40

We are in Spain on holiday. Every evening we’ve gone for a family walk after dinner. It’s been lovely.
Yesterday husband was having tummy pain (digestive reasons) and so we stopped our walk short, and we went back to hotel and we all walked together back at a slow pace because he was pain.
This evening family walk all lovely for the first half, we went quite far and then I started to get insane period cramping (I have endo and PCOS) and it was intense pain. We started to walk back. My husband and son were walking ahead, of me and my daughter. I was a lot lot slower than usual as was in a lot of pain, the DS (14) and DH ended up very very far ahead of us, my daughter (15) then started to need a wee so I said she could run ahead so she ran ahead to DS and DH and I assumed at least my husband would wait for me or come back and find me but no no, it was dark on roads I don’t know well and I walked back to hotel alone in agony, expected husband to at least be waiting in hotel reception when I eventually got there but nope he had gone up to room without me.

This made me feel a little resentful and sad, am I overreacting/being unreasonable?

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 02/09/2026 03:58

What did he say? I’d highlight the two events and ask if I should ignore him and do my own thing next time he’s in pain, as that seems to be what he thinks is the standard?

pikkumyy77 · 02/09/2026 03:56

Ponoka7 · 01/09/2026 21:48

Did you want your teenage children to be left alone instead? Or your DD just piss on the floor? Did you have a phone on you?

There is always one!

No Way Wow GIF by Laff
NotAnotherScarf · 02/09/2026 03:54

Midlifecrisis2026 · 01/09/2026 22:01

This has happened to me too and it’s rude. Men just don’t think when it comes to women’s safety, or about manners I’ve found

Thats the thing I don't understand here. Leaving your wife in a strange place you don't know well; I am assuming after dark..very shitty behaviour

StarCourt · 02/09/2026 02:04

Did you not know? Women’s pain doesn’t matter. we are all exaggerating

Absolutelynot2 · 02/09/2026 02:02

Maybe just ask him why he didn't slow down instead of asking strangers. I'm sure that will be much more useful.

oviraptor21 · 02/09/2026 01:45

But daughter wanted to go faster?
Maybe DH could have gone with DD and DS slowed to go with Mum?
Then perhaps DH had the key to the room so that DD could use the toilet - although they could have used one in the reception area?
I wouldn't rush to judge DH. More detail needed.

OuijaBoard · 02/09/2026 01:40

I don't understand why your husband and son didn't slow their pace to walk with you and your daughter, if not immediately then once they knew you were struggling, just as the whole family slowed to walk with your husband yesterday. Even if they had something private to discuss between the two of them and that's why they were so far ahead in the first place, they could and should have wrapped it up and postponed the rest of the discussion once your daughter caught up to them and they saw that you were far behind alone and struggling. But yeah, you're going to have to ask them why they acted as they did if you want a real answer.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2026 01:26

Midlifecrisis2026 · 01/09/2026 22:01

This has happened to me too and it’s rude. Men just don’t think when it comes to women’s safety, or about manners I’ve found

True..They can be real twats about safety..It's really annnoying. I always drop people like a hot brick if they show scant consideration for another person's safety.

LittleMissFooled · 02/09/2026 00:38

Midlifecrisis2026 · 01/09/2026 22:01

This has happened to me too and it’s rude. Men just don’t think when it comes to women’s safety, or about manners I’ve found

Not all men. My H would never have left me.

KittyHigham · 01/09/2026 22:30

Ponoka7 · 01/09/2026 21:48

Did you want your teenage children to be left alone instead? Or your DD just piss on the floor? Did you have a phone on you?

Or the dh could have stopped and waited for the OP and dd to catch them up and walked together. Is that a concept beyond your imagination?

Krevlornswath · 01/09/2026 22:16

YANBU - what does he have to say about having done this? Was he aware of the extent of your pain or is this something he generally does not take seriously?

Millytante · 01/09/2026 22:09

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/09/2026 22:04

How hurtful and inconsiderate. I’m sorry. Is he normally sympathetic to you about pain, illness or injury or is this par for the course?

It’s not stated that DH knew why OP had slowed her pace though

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/09/2026 22:07

Midlifecrisis2026 · 01/09/2026 22:01

This has happened to me too and it’s rude. Men just don’t think when it comes to women’s safety, or about manners I’ve found

That’s a ridiculous statement. It’s very sad that you know some rubbish men but they’re half the population and plenty of them have manners and care if their wife is in pain.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/09/2026 22:04

How hurtful and inconsiderate. I’m sorry. Is he normally sympathetic to you about pain, illness or injury or is this par for the course?

Midlifecrisis2026 · 01/09/2026 22:01

This has happened to me too and it’s rude. Men just don’t think when it comes to women’s safety, or about manners I’ve found

MyArtfulGreySloth · 01/09/2026 21:53

He’s an inconsiderate arsehole.

tretaddict · 01/09/2026 21:49

Ponoka7 · 01/09/2026 21:48

Did you want your teenage children to be left alone instead? Or your DD just piss on the floor? Did you have a phone on you?

He could have walked back?

Ponoka7 · 01/09/2026 21:48

Did you want your teenage children to be left alone instead? Or your DD just piss on the floor? Did you have a phone on you?

Pinkchickenwine · 01/09/2026 21:45

Arsehole! I hope you asked him to explain why he did that?

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 01/09/2026 21:44

He sounds like an inconsiderate twat, of course he shouldn't have left you.

Arlanymor · 01/09/2026 21:43

What did he say when you talked to him about it?

tretaddict · 01/09/2026 21:41

He shouldn’t have left you. I’ve got to a point where I can’t get off the floor due to endo pain, what if you had collapsed?