AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

I feel like your enjoying upsetting others and using your Grandchild as a nice cover. A tad bitter of you.

I don’t have a child so I sit on the swing myself until I feel like my self esteem is high enough to deign to give the kids a go.

I have been known to be sat with a huge queue of little children waiting when I’ve had a bad day and need validation, if anyone moans then I sit there longer.

I missed going to work last week because the park has been busier with it still being summer holidays but I wasn’t being rushed into giving up my turn up early 😆.

You are teaching him that if you/he doesn't like someone - in this case ony their comments - it's OK for you/him to put him first.

You reacted to the comments, let him stay on longer, that was unfair.

I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

YABU to stay on a swing for 6/7 (ha) minutes when other children are waiting.

You are also teaching your GS to be entitled and really not teaching him social skills although you state you would like to!

You are being unreasonable and very selfish.

So you were being passive aggressive. Nice trait.

She said he was on the swing for 6 or seven minutes. That is not fair to other children.
it may not be sharing a toy but it’s the same principle. Sharing time. Thinking of others.

I thought of that thread too

Self worth? Give me a break - this is just selfishness.

That's the sort of reasoning my 7 year old would come out with 'now you have asked me to stop I am going to stay on longer just to annoy you'. There wasn't much to overthink, either you took him off or you didn't, it's not complicated.

I'm with the Mum. Your GS was on 1st other child was on 2nd, 3rd child goes on when 1st child (yours) comes off - logically yours would come off first as he went on first, so of course she told her other child it was their turn when yours came off. As long as she didn't tell you you needed to remove them, she did nothing wrong.

If there are children waiting I tell mine 'you have 20 more pushes/swings and then it someone else's turn'. We don't force them to give it up immediately, as per post above, but we do after an interval - teaching children that others needs do not come before theirs, but neither do theirs come before others

Isn't your first time at the rodeo. You're a grandmother, you've already been a mother and raised a child to adulthood, and now you've got the second generation

Dont sit there and say you're overthinking and don't know how to respond.

You knew exactly what you were doing, which was being bloody minded and deliberately leaving him on there.

Idk 5-7 mins doesn’t sound that incredibly long. I can kind of see why her immediately coming over and trying to harry your kid off the swing made you keep him on longer. She does sound a bit daft.

I mean it probably is a bit long to expect other children of the age where they like swings to wait - so maybe a you were a bit U. But then I bet this mother would have kept her own kids on for ages if you’d taken yours off!

It’s ages since mine were that little so I’m struggling to remember what I would do!

This is an interesting post. Worth looking into.

Hey Saraclara, thanks for your question, I probably wasn’t clear. No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying children shouldn’t be forced into relinquishing a toy etc the moment they have got it if someone else wants it. They should be able to enjoy it themselves first. In a Montessori school or something this will be until play is complete for the child with the toy, but in a shared public playground with people who aren’t of this philosophy this would be ridiculous. So it’s some kind of middle ground. Respecting the child’s go who is in the swing, but at the same time teaching the child who currently has it that someone else is waiting. Are they ready to let them have a go? Etc etc.

Not relevant here but I never wait for swings with my two. We just use something else until a gap opens up which it usually does.

If the woman had asked, she'd have kept him on even longer! Passive aggression is clearly her thing!

Yes, nothing wrong with being bloody minded when faced with pushy entitled mums eh?
The mum had a swing. Is it the OP's grandson's issue that she didn't want them to share?

It was a shitty thing to do on your part to keep a child waiting for 6-7 minutes for the swing. The only thing you're teaching your grandchild to do is to be selfish and entitled!

I would have just told her that your GS had only just got onto the swing and he will be having his turn. She probably didn't know how long you guys had been there.
Plus it's also fine for her own children to take turns, they don't always get the chance to go on together, surely mum knows that?

Yes! It has to be 😆 🤣

Far too long. When other kids came along I used to do a count down with mine - from twenty pushes, no longer.

Self-worth can be measured in kindness and empathy, you know!

Just doing what you want whilst upsetting others breeds arrogance and selfishness

I let my dd go on for 45 mins if she wants. Her turn is her turn. The next person can take as long as they like.

A thought on this, again watch those videos I mentioned but you could say something like this to your grandchild, “X, you love these swings! And I’m so glad you have finally got to have a go. There is another child who wants to have a go too, are you ready to get off now so he can also swing and we can come back later, or would you like to have a few more minutes and finish your go?” If he’s ready he’s ready, if he needs a few more mins cause he’s only just got there then go with that. You’re teaching him a) validation, the joy of the swings! b) empathy by pointing out the boy waiting c) self worth and agency, if he’s genuinely not ready cause he’s only just got on them, that is valid, and the mum can let the kid play on other things in the meantime or use the swing she has as she did. X

The little ones have the separate swings with bars across the front. Bigger kids can't usually fit into those. One day the swing will be busy the next the roundabout or springy things busy. I just told my DGC that is busy well do it another time.

And here we have it..