To still be hurt and angry that I was ‘Wendied’ 15 years ago

I agree. 15 years is a long time to hold on to this hurt, and it's healthier to move on. You still may have residual annoyance, but "hurt and anger"?

No, I hadn't heard of it either. I had to get the context from the story.

No it isn't. She has given HERSELF 15 years of stress and misery by dwelling on it. It is self-destructive. You shouldn't allow other people (especially shitty people like them) this power over you. Move on and forget them.

I wouldn’t say I was “astonished”! However, most people on this thread seemed to know what it meant and I was surprised I hadn’t heard the term, that’s all

Villages can be incredibly toxic for this reason. The dynamics are just so different from big bustling cities where nowadays no one really knows anyone and neighbours don’t even talk. When it’s a small place where people are practically on top of one another and it’s rural so not much to fill your time with in the area, people get so petulant through boredom I think more than anything.

I wouldn’t still be giving this airtime after 15 years though. Guessing your kids aren’t even in school anymore at this stage so surely you’ve more than moved on…

What a nasty response

Well, we could say Brutus instead. But we are not Roman emperors and our backstabbing friends aren't senators.

When my Wendy did this, I had no word for it - I borrowed 'Single White Female' due to the similarities, but she wasn't trying to steal my boyfriend as well as all my female friends so it didn't hit right. I was relieved to find a perfectly appropriate term on here!

Anyway, you'd probably find SWF misogynist and racist? Women can be utter shits, you know.

ok but why would you want to be friends with ppl like this? Don't you find them a bit ridiculous? Did you want a caravan?

You sound very unkind

There's every chance that at least one of these women will come across your Thread OP. There's a lot of identifying stuff here.

If that isn't a concern, then great - let's see if any of them "woman up" and reach out to you.
,

Its from a not well known children's book by an American autohort from 1974.

Why the astonishment you haven't heard of it.

You are unreasonable to use the term “Wendied”. Misogynist and ageist in one hit. Why are women doing this to themselves?

This.

Sounds like you were perhaps a little stand-offish?
I’d let sleeping dogs lie. They don’t sound like your sort of people anyway. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for the explanation. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it

I witnessed an attempt of this to my sister. The lovely friends saw through it thankfully. 30 years later they are meeting up regularly with a big party this weekend and in touch all the time no one’s heard from Wendy since 2002 💪

Never heard of wendied.

There have been a few 'original Wendies' in various settings, generally used about female bullies of one description or another. They're unrelated. Probably the most relevant precedent is Judy Blume's 'Blubber', a 1974 children's novel concerning an extremely mean girl and the group politics of joining the powerful clique, rebelling and so on.

On Mumsnet it came to specifically mean the woman you introduce to your circle of friends, who then turns your friends against you and sets herself up as main character in the group - who no longer have anything to do with you. You can't even protest, because it's all happened behind your back and you've been painted as a troublemaker. You don't know what you're supposed to have done and nobody will explain.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blubber_(novel)

One of the most misogynistic slurs applied to women.

I thought that too, and also if she felt her child was being treated differently because they were going to a different secondary school the one they usually go to then.So what by the sound of it, they were in year six, and about to leave.

It's also the consideration that by sending her child to a different secondary school.She perhaps wasn't going to be in a class with any of the mutual friends children either so that must have gone down like a lead balloon.

The fact that she still hung up over this after fifteen years, speaks volumes about her rather than anyone else.

This is why the idea of moving to a village gives me the shivers!

It’s very odd that you didn’t ask anyone at the time. Seriously if you’re as close as you say, the normal thing would be to call, text and say hey what’s up,

but you don’t speak of them well. Using childish terms like queen bee etc, and seem focused on money, they fact they have caravans of all things, and make it clear you didn’t wish to interact like they did, ie go on holiday.

you also state yoh made a complaint to the school, but the woman was your child’s teacher, stating that they were being treated differently as going to a different school, who else would be treating your child differently if not their own teacher,

it feels like you resented these new people joining the group, clearly made a signficant complaint that impacted the teacher friend, didn’t speak to her about it. And you’ve not said if your complaint was validated by the school, or if in reality you just jumped at a shadow and possibly did something pointless.

you also tell us the men speak, so you’re the issue, I’m not absolutely sure you were wendied, it feels like you were the problem, resenting these new women, and that would have been recognised by the others, and then topping it off with a complaint that may or may not have been justified in others eyes, you also clearly have issues surrounding their wealth, holiday activities and the way fhey interact. It feels like you were the one who tried to reject them and it was you who got booted due to it.

This, unless your complaint centred on their children getting things yours didn’t and you wanted them stopped from doing these things… why would they care you’d complained?
the only thing I can think of is eg.. our village schools allocated secondary has a “rugby school” linked to local rugby club as is next door…. The p7 who attend the rugby club on weekends etc get to attend the summer camp to meet the rugby coaches and future teammates. If your not going to be in the rugby school then you don’t..

You use words and phrases like 'queen bee', 'so far up her backside she could kiss her teeth'. You kept a distance from the teacher and then made a complaint to the school about the school's treatment of your child. As her child's teacher she is likely to take this rather personally.

If one one of your friendship group made a complaint to your work about something you were directly involved in how would you feel about them?

The nature of your complaint to the school also sounds like classic victim mentality.

Honestly, you sound like a tricky, rather self centered person.

What does “Wendied” mean please?