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AIBU Poor Dog walker had to witness

130 replies

Mooseylooseyloo · 01/09/2026 18:18

I was reading an article earlier about a dog walker on Two Tree Island near Leigh on Sea in Essex who apparently came across a man naked from the waist down who then bent over and stuck a carrott up his backside.

Putting aside the obvious jokes, I actually found it very disturbing. The poor woman must have been shocked, frightened and probably quite shaken up by it, i live close by and have done this walk many times.

As a woman who often walks my dog alone, sometimes in fairly quiet or remote areas, it made me think about how vulnerable dog walkers can feel. Most of us are just trying to enjoy some fresh air and exercise our dogs, not stumble across something like that.

It also got me wondering what other strange, unsettling or downright bizarre things people have come across while out walking their dogs.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever witnessed on a dog walk

OP posts:
FlyingCatGirl · 03/09/2026 07:57

Hellohelga · 01/09/2026 22:16

My lab once disappeared behind a bush in our local park and I assumed she was going to eat some food/litter, so I looked behind the bush. There was a man with his trousers down doing a poo. I told him he was disgusting and scarpered.

Please remember that some people have bowel disease that can't always be controlled, they don't need to be berated or humiliated! It could be you one day in that position if bowel disease decides to take hold. You have no idea what a sudden, crippling urge feels like!

wellstopdoingitthen · 03/09/2026 06:27

CrowsInMyGarden · 01/09/2026 19:14

I was with my daughter walking my dogs when one of them who was slightly behind us squatted for a poo. My daughter pointed and I went to pick it up, with a poo bag in my hand. It was Autumn and there was leaves everywhere. I couldn't see it. I stood there for ages looking for it when an old man wandered over. He asked "have you lost something?" I laughed and said "only a poo" He was very obviously hard of hearing as he then said "There's a poster on the wall, with the Council's number on it - give them a call and if they find it they will post it to you" I waved the poo bag in the air and loudly said "I'm just trying to find a dog poo" He then asked me how much it cost. My daughter was giggling like crazy behind him. I was so pleased when I spotted the poo, I picked it up with the poo bag and as I walked off he said "Ah glad you found it, did it have sentimental value?"

😂😂😂

SapphireSeptember · 03/09/2026 05:31

firstlove2009 · 02/09/2026 20:59

Someone close to where I stayed back them found a dead baby boy.

They still haven't found out who he was his mum etc.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-32446176

Edited

Oh, that's so sad. 🥺

NolanChanceJustLikeTheWeatherNSoul · 03/09/2026 04:38

Dabralor · 01/09/2026 23:04

Why is it that fellas are often waving their bits around outdoors in the open? What’s the appeal? It’s cold, scratchy, embarrassing - what if he saw his boss?! Not to mention the waste of NHS resources - my lovely dad used to work in A&E and the number of men who accidentally fell over onto their telly remote/hoover nozzle/vegetables etc was astonishingly high.

I honestly despair at the stupidity of the male human sometimes.

Spose if you keep the telly remote up the arse you need to ask where's the doodah.
I read a book recently about A&E and the strange going ons.
One bloke put an eel up his arse and couldn't retrieve it..weirdos.

Nat6999 · 03/09/2026 01:51

My son is a Green Party member & the ex leader of the local party has been seen & reported for walking around the local area at night naked. This is a man who adopted ds when he first started going to the meetings age 14 & encouraged him to get involved.

Hycosaneyedrops · 03/09/2026 01:12

Beepen · 03/09/2026 00:18

He can stick a whole salad up his arse if he likes - provided it's in the privacy of his own home

Now that I’d be impressed by. Let’s be honest a carrot is very basic and boring. If I saw a man put a little gem lettuce and a tomato or two up there I’d be impressed

Beepen · 03/09/2026 00:51

11AndCounting · 03/09/2026 00:28

And that I don't have a dinner party invite.

Grin
11AndCounting · 03/09/2026 00:28

Beepen · 03/09/2026 00:18

He can stick a whole salad up his arse if he likes - provided it's in the privacy of his own home

And that I don't have a dinner party invite.

Beepen · 03/09/2026 00:18

Hycosaneyedrops · 01/09/2026 19:04

God forbid a man has a hobby these days.

Imagine calling 999 to report a man with a carrot up his arse.

He can stick a whole salad up his arse if he likes - provided it's in the privacy of his own home

Beepen · 03/09/2026 00:14

I was once walking across the moors with my dog and a couple came over the brow of a hill and the man was fully dressed in hiking gear but the woman was naked from the waste up - boobs flapping away in the cold autumn sunshine.

They just greeted me with a cheery hello and carried on their way

MarxistMags · 03/09/2026 00:11

@Buzzer3555 Do tell us what happened and if the baby is alright.
TIA

HouseMouseSamosa · 03/09/2026 00:03

There’s a naked rambler who is out most days when the weather is nice in my local forest. I’ve never had the misfortune to encounter him, but I know plenty that have, all women funnily enough. He makes a point of saying hello and standing there with everything on display. I guess he enjoys making women feel uncomfortable. And the fact that I don’t know of a single man or M/F couple that have seen him makes me think that he hides in the trees and conveniently appears when he sees a woman or women on their own.

Error404FucksNotFound · 02/09/2026 23:57

Fernticket · 01/09/2026 22:28

Carrot up his arse? What a waste of good food!

You hope...

Whettlettuce · 02/09/2026 21:45

It's disgusting, men will do absolutely anything to force fetishes and sexual proclivities onto women

Wildefish · 02/09/2026 21:06

Hycosaneyedrops · 01/09/2026 19:04

God forbid a man has a hobby these days.

Imagine calling 999 to report a man with a carrot up his arse.

It’s where he was practicing his hobby I think was the problem😃

firstlove2009 · 02/09/2026 20:59

Someone close to where I stayed back them found a dead baby boy.

They still haven't found out who he was his mum etc.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-32446176

FeralFucker · 02/09/2026 20:52

Found a body in the woods on the morning after the world cup. Very worried until he started snoring.

Pinkrinse · 02/09/2026 19:41

Seawolves · 01/09/2026 18:29

Many years ago I encountered a naked rambler while out walking our dog along a local waterway. Our old Lab, who never took a disliking to anyone and was a gentle soul, clearly took a dislike to this guy and grumbled at him as he walked past. I was glad I had a dog with me to be honest.

Same here, only wearing a hat and boots, did put a loin cloth over to walk past me. 🤣🤣

OneAmberGoose · 02/09/2026 19:39

Years ago I was walking the dog on a local park, I was walking along a raised bank which led down to the car park. A man in his car was very visibly pleasuring himself at my expense. I’m not very easily unnerved but left immediately and called the police to report. They attended and found the man still at the scene but because I couldn’t identify him, his face was hidden behind his sun visor, no action was taken. I remember feeling incredibly angry in the days after, violated almost. I always felt like it was probably a stepping stone for him to go on and commit worse crimes, at some point he would drag a woman off a path for instance.

AcquadiP · 02/09/2026 19:36

MMUmum · 02/09/2026 18:57

This happened to me, I was walking my dog through local woods, quite a popular, safe area and dog usually loved it. Suddenly he stopped dead, started growling at the bushes and refused to move. I called him to me and we moved pretty quick back home, something upset him but I wasn't hanging around to find out what

I think it's unlikely to have been an animal, a dog would be far more likely to be inquisitive than aggressive. Well done to your dog for growling, few people would risk challenging a protective dog.

user293948849167 · 02/09/2026 19:30

A man dressed up in a long black cloak with hood just standing there - think death but without the scythe!
Good thing it was daytime or it would have been scary.
Always feel safer when the dog is with me, even though he’s a softie!

MMUmum · 02/09/2026 18:57

AcquadiP · 01/09/2026 18:55

Many years ago, I was walking my three Border Collies along a disused railway line.
It was a popular walk with dog walkers and there had never previously been any issues.

One of my collies was walking close to me, the other two were slightly ahead. One of the two dogs stopped and started staring at an area of thick bushes about 3 foot in height on the edge of the path. The second dog joined him and did exactly the same. By now I was asking myself what on earth they were staring at. As I caught up with them, I could see from the body language and facial expression of the first dog to stop that he was not happy at all, there was something amiss. A few seconds later I couldn't believe my eyes when a man started to crawl out on his hands and knees. He seemed very nervous. He claimed to have been looking for his hat. I didn't believe him. I said nothing to the man, called the two dogs off and we continued with our walk. Weird!

This happened to me, I was walking my dog through local woods, quite a popular, safe area and dog usually loved it. Suddenly he stopped dead, started growling at the bushes and refused to move. I called him to me and we moved pretty quick back home, something upset him but I wasn't hanging around to find out what

RamALamADingDong2 · 02/09/2026 18:57

Hycosaneyedrops · 01/09/2026 19:04

God forbid a man has a hobby these days.

Imagine calling 999 to report a man with a carrot up his arse.

😂

UnwillingAdvocate · 02/09/2026 18:49

We once found some camping gear on Two Tree Island. I put it in the car with the intention to put a notice out in case it had been stolen locally. The following day we were driving down to Kent when our dog started jumping about trying to catch something in the back of the car. Hadn’t occurred to us to check inside the camping gear before putting it in the car and as locals will know there are thousands of lizards on Two Tree island. Loads of them had crawled inside the bags and were running about inside the car with the dog trying to catch them. That’s not even the best bit. Guess what I found on my bathroom floor that night as I was about to step in the bath? 😱🤣🦎🦎🦎🦎

ToadRage · 02/09/2026 18:39

Not dog walking but when my husband was working security at Glastonbury he came across two people having sex in bush.
When I was walking along a foot path one day, a young man ran straight towards me yelled something in a language I could neither identify nor understand, je passed me and ran on. A few moments later a group of men of a similar age followed. I worried they were chasing him with the intention of doing him harm and i kept an eye on the local news for a while after but never heard anything. I still think about this years later though I know there is nothing I could have done.