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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to still accompany my three-year-old to the upstairs toilet?

41 replies

Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 15:59

Have a 3.5 year old. Only toilet is upstairs. If toilet was downstairs I'd let them go by themselves but with the toilet being upstairs I always go up with them. Starting to wonder if I'm being OTT.
Anyone else with a similar toilet situation, when did you let your DC use the upstairs toilet by themselves?

OP posts:
bababamama · 01/09/2026 16:38

I think there’s a half way house - let her go upstairs but follow on 2 minutes later, eventually only sometimes go up but she won’t know when so hopefully won’t cause a mess

Naurrr · 01/09/2026 16:36

Leave a bar of soap on the sink and remove all creams and stuff out of reach.

comeoncolleen · 01/09/2026 16:36

Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 16:17

Exactly this. She just delights in being messy, only supervision stops it. If anything is accidentally left out, like cream or body wash she would be using it to 'clean the sink' 😬

Show quote history

Oh heck, I wouldn't let her out of my sight!!

YourAquaLion · 01/09/2026 16:34

My 5yo still wants us to go to the loo with him! You’re not being unreasonable at all. We r just getting to the stage where (because he’s at school now) he is getting the whole concept of privacy. But he’d be too scared of monsters to go upstairs on his own!

BeSharpHelper · 01/09/2026 16:30

I would purely for preventing shenanigans. Barbies down toilets sudocrem carpet treatments , taps left running etc

PercyPigInAWig · 01/09/2026 16:25

Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 16:10

She needs occasional help wiping after no 2s but otherwise no issues with stairs, using toilet or washing hands (other than above mentioned making a mess)

I still remember the feeling of horror when DC1 was about that age and I discovered that when unsupervised she had been washing her hands in the toilet flush water to save time and get back to playing.

Some children seize every opportunity for mischief. Unravelled toilet rolls were a very regular feature. I could only leave one out and had to hide the spares. Obviously angelic behaviour in other settings, so I was told.

ShiftySquirrel · 01/09/2026 16:18

Ahh, I had two of those with a smallish age gap. Fiddlekins DH called them. Any time they were on their own there was mischief!
Shredded candle wax down the plug hole, fireguard moved and cold ashy hand prints over the living room walls and carpet, an entire lipstick covered face. They were climbers too. You get the idea.

Keep going as you are OP! They grew out of it eventually - I can't remember when exactly, but they're lovely teens now!

Original poster
Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 16:17

comeoncolleen · 01/09/2026 16:11

Sounds as if you are going with her to protect the state of your home! - fair enough, it's not OTT, but ideally you'll be teaching her to be careful.

Exactly this. She just delights in being messy, only supervision stops it. If anything is accidentally left out, like cream or body wash she would be using it to 'clean the sink' 😬

OP posts:
comeoncolleen · 01/09/2026 16:11

Sounds as if you are going with her to protect the state of your home! - fair enough, it's not OTT, but ideally you'll be teaching her to be careful.

Original poster
Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 16:10

She needs occasional help wiping after no 2s but otherwise no issues with stairs, using toilet or washing hands (other than above mentioned making a mess)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lyra87 · 01/09/2026 16:09

My DC is what I would describe as a messer. Any opportunity to get up to mischief she takes so it mainly stems from that. Soap would be all over the place, tissue paper as well.
I can tell from the posts already I'm being OTT 😅

OP posts:
TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 01/09/2026 16:08

Is it the toileting or the stairs that are the issue?

My 18month old uses the stairs on his own- I mean i try to always be around but he's very fast. My other 2 were definitely using stairs independently from 2ish.

Toileting alone from a few months after they were potty trained. Although at 3.5 I'd probably still be wiping after a no 2.

WonderWeeksArentReal · 01/09/2026 16:04

Agree with pp is it the stairs or the toileting that worries you? My youngest still needed prompting to wash his hands at that age.

PurpleThistle7 · 01/09/2026 16:03

This has never occurred to me. Once my kids were competent at clothes and handwashing then I left them to it. What worries you?

Crimblecrumble1990 · 01/09/2026 16:02

Which part of it being upstairs concerns you? Is it them going up and down stairs on their own? Or them getting in to a pickle with the loo roll etc as that could potentially happen in a downstairs toilet too.

Arbourimage · 01/09/2026 16:02

Do you not let them go upstairs by themselves at all? Or can they not used the toilet independently?
I’m struggling to understand your reasoning.

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