Christmas :-/

It sounds like a nice Christmas for you and your gran. Driving a few hours and then cooking dinner does not sound like a good day for you.
Surely your parents would have considered logistics like this when they first moved?
You've done the right thing by asking them, don't feel guilty.

I can see why being invited to travel two hours, not drink and then cook the dinner isn't tempting! I think having a pub Christmas dinner sounds amazing by comparison, and you gave them plenty of notice to join in, so I think you have been very hospitable.

Doing the driving AND the cooking? Nah, doesn't work like that...

I have found the first year of a different Christmas is the one were everyone gets their emotionally-manipulative panties in a bunch, and you just have to hold firm and ride out the storm (to mix metaphors there)...

It will be an established pattern by next year when everyone realises they actually survived and enjoyed it...

You did a nice thing, including your gran in your Christmas plans.

I can’t believe your mother is trying to make you feel guilty. And she wanted you to do the cooking at her house?

You sound like a lovely thoughtful granddaughter and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. 🎄

I hope you and your Gran (and whoever else might join you) have a fabulous time at the pub on Christmas and enjoy not having to peel spuds and so on!

Christmas dinner anywhere but someone’s house is brilliant. Go for it!

You came up with the first plan and started sorting it. Your parents can choose if they want to join your plan or make another.

Ignoring how cheeky they are to expect you to cook in their house (and it's tricky to cook in an unfamiliar kitchen) they should have started the discussion earlier.

You snooze, you lose.

Just say sorry. You hadn't said anything and now we have plans.

Forget the guilt! Go out with your gran and whoever you want to in a pub close to you - honestly when you do that it takes all the strain out of the day! I can't believe your parents want you to go there AND cook. You invited them which is nice of you, if they prefer to stay at home it's fine, but it's also good for you to just go out and have a relaxed Xmas.

Your parents sound terribly selfish/self-centred to not understand how you feel.

Why is drinking a problem, could you/they not stay over?

I think that you did everything appropriately and sensitively -booking the table, inviting others etc.

Forget the guilt - you have a lot on your plate with children and grandparent duties. But I wonder if you are bitter about your parents moving away as you say they should expect to see people less?

I think the dynamics and boundaries obviously have to change as the logistics determine - but I would consider if there is any negativity from your side and how helpful this will be going forward?

Surprised people are so hung up on you cooking - I love to cook Christmas dinner but my sisters house is much bigger, so on our family’s hosting years I do the cooking in her massive kitchen (which she doesn’t deserve because she can barely make a sandwich, she and her husband eat out constantly 😂)

anyway, I think in my family we would agree what we were doing rather than one of us making a decision for ourselves and then booking somewhere, but every family is different!

If your Gran is driving even better.

Your parents sound bloody hard work, go to the pub with your Gran, no cooking walk home job done.

I think that sounds like an excellent compromise @Yetie enjoy yourself and good on you for sticking to your guns

Can’t quite believe the cheek of someone wanting to “host” but only if a guest does all of the cooking!

Since I dislike Christmas so much and all the emotional manipulation that can go with it, not to mention crowds, weather, constant bombardment of advertising, awful muzak and so on.... whew - I escape with DP every year over Christmas and New Year. We go to Southern Spain where Christmas is so low key it barely exists except amongst some ex pats. We avoid all that.

The first time we decided to escape wasn't easy, it was met with howls of negativity, but we are adults, no kids and hate Christmas. Everyone is used to it now and it doesn't even register on their radar anymore. We are still a close family and get on great.

Stick to your guns girl and have a lovely time being served up the grub in the pub!

So your mum wants to host but you to do all the work? Stick to your guns and enjoy your Christmas dinner out with your gran. YANBU

Your mum wanted to host but you to do all the cooking?😂

YANBU. Why can't the cheeky fuckers cook in their own house, why do they want you to cook?

Absolutely have a lovely Christmas with your gran, don't be guilt tripped by your parents.

Do you often cook for them?