To increase this clients charge ?

My friend cuts my hair, if you include the tip I pay her more than the going rate as I really appreciate her and her work.

Friends don’t take advantage of each other.

I am going to sound horribly blunt but unless the woman is at death's door or the pet is a very long-lived creature like a tortoise or possibly a well-loved parrot, her having it in her will is likely to be moot. It won't outlive her in most cases anyway.
I reckon you ought to message with, "You are so right- this whole arrangement is blurring transactional and personal so I think we need to stop the transactional part completely- then we can just be friends." Then fire her as a client in the name of friendship.

Please stop being so nice and "understanding" about her.

Her priorities are screwed, and clearly show that you, and the roof over your head, aren't even on the list!

Do you not have many friends yourself, or do you lack self-esteem? That could explain why you'd allow this absolute manipulator to treat you like this.

You sound lovely, and she sounds dreadful.

My friend highlighted my hair for free a few times to be kind. Previously I have helped her decorate her house so we just do things for each other. No money is exchanged.

Then she told me she couldn’t do my hair any more as she was busy with her new job. The end. No tears. I just went to a hairdresser.

So friends don’t make a fuss when other friends can’t help them any more. You definitely need to stop cleaning for this woman together. She isn’t a friend. She is manipulative.

She expects you to work for less than everyone else pays while having holidays/nails done/meals out and emotionally blackmails you when you need a modest increase?

She's not your friend @Boomboomi , friends don't exploit each other. She sees you as a soft and convenient touch and if it suited, you wouldn't see her for dust.

@Boomboomi I find it so infuriating when these entitled people use emotional manipulation like this.
She works for her money but so do you. Her definition of what she can 'afford' highlights her sense of entitlement.
It's not essential for her to have a cleaner because she could do it herself. We all have to choose our priorities for spending on non-essentials but she clearly wants it all.
Harden your heart my lovely. All cleaners increase their rates from time to time and in this case she's still getting a great deal. Personally I think you should drop the cleaning for her and take on a full paying client instead, but you're probably too kind to do that.

Is she dying? If not then the chances of her dying before the cat are pretty slim (unless you've left off the fact she is very elderly). In your OP you mention "single parent" is it her that is a single parent? If so her plan is, if she suddenly dies, to have the cat go to you instead of with her child(ren). That seems cruel to the kid(s).

I would actually ask her "what do you mean by saying that the friendship is transactional? " Get her to explain what she actually means rather than just throwing around psychobabble phrases that are meant to make you feel bad.

She's not afraid to say that you've upset her - it's ok for you to say that she has upset you. You have asked for something completely reasonable and she has reacted unkindly towards you.

Gently, I’m sorry to be the stranger on the internet who points out to you that the reason she can have her nails done etc and not pay you more is that you allow her to manipulate you.

Leaving her cat to your care in her will is the height of manipulation.

Please don’t waste your time trying to craft a message which will make her suddenly realise how she is using you. She knows that already and just keeps on because you let her.

It’s up to you to decide what to do about this now. I’d encourage you to prioritise work for people who pay your proper rate.

Just use the text suggestions from @hoarderofthedough Suggested.

You have a living to earn. Someone who manipulates you or tries to is not someone who has your best interests at heart. It’s a hard lesson to learn. All the best.

I think you need to step away, my best friend does my nails and charges me the going rate, I know how good she is at her job and I happily pay.

But she can afford to pay you your going rate, if shes off on hoilday so much that you have developed a good relationship with looking after her cat she can afford your rates. She's taking the piss tell her friends don't clean their friends houses and your giving her your notice.

If she is saying that she is upset that the friendship is transactional then I think I would reply to say
"Im sorry if the increase in your discounted rate has upset you this is inline with an increase in my standard rates due to increased costs of materials etc.
I dont want you to feel our friendship is transactional so I think you are right the best thing to do is to stop the cleaning and cat sitting and we can focus on just being friends"

I wouldn't expect my friends to clean my house for next to nothing like an indentured servant.

The cat might die before she does and then what she has in her will is of no consequence.

Has she made provision for the cat in terms of vet care and food or is it a bequest that potentially costs you money.

As she is not flush with money she needs to cut her cloth accordingly and not employ a cleaner.

You can earn more with other clients, so terminate your arrangement with immediate effect, she is taking you for a mug.

I think stop cleaning for her entirely. Say that you made a mistake in mixing friendship and business, you'd like to preserve the friendship (if you actually do) and therefore it's best to separate the two.

Op you are literally working for her for free, with both the cat and not charging your full going rate for her cleaning and here's the thing, she DOESN'T CARE that you are working for her for free, she thinks that you SHOULD!

That's no friend, treating you as her slave!

Shes a CF. If she can afford to go away on hols, nails done etc . "Throwing away a friendship for money" yes, your money not hers!!. You need to man up and tell her straight . You're not a chariy

Someone that has a cleaner, goes away regularly enough that they have an ongoing cat sitting arrangement, goes out to restaurants and has their nails done is not in the dire straits they claim to be.

Does she pay you extra to take care of the cat? You should work out how much you are saving her from the mates rates and the cat sitter. It’s no wonder she doesn’t want things to change, she has it too good.

This is the perfect opportunity to back away. Friends don’t take advantage of friends.

I'm a freelancer and this is why I never work for friends! You're obviously being MORE than reasonable already by charging her mates rates. I think you just restate what you've already said and if she doesn't like it, or starts being arsey, you say that with everything she's said in mind, it's probably better if she finds another petsitter/cleaner combo (and see how she likes their rates!)
Every hour you work for her is an hour you aren't charging another customer your real rate. It is literally costing you money every time you work for her.

Also, I hear what you say about the cat, but ultimately, it's not your cat. She will have to make arrangements for it.

You clean her house for buttons and I assume you drop in to mind her cat when she is away for free? You are mug sorry, narcissists hate to be found out so she is lashing out. Look up the cat drop in rate on Rover. Between that and the reduced cleaning fee, work out how much this ‘friendship’ has cost you. She is not your friend. I call bullshit on the cat in the will and even if so, it’s not your problem. Don’t worry she will find another mug to take your place.

I am sorry to say this to you, but she does not value you at all, either as a friend or a cleaner/cat sitter. She appears to be one of those types who play the poor mouth to garner sympathy while you are mugged big time.

Do you need her as a friend really, do you rely on her for company or other things?

Easiest way to get around this is to limit your time. Tell her you have clients who pay you X pounds per hour and you need that money for your own expenses, so you can only do her cleaning once a month or whatever. I'd try that approach anyway and say if she is prepared to pay you the going rate you will cancel one of your proper paying clients and take her on instead.

If there is any weeping and wailing, leave the house, silence her calls/texts and try to be firm. These people will always find a person's weak spot, not saying you are weak, but you are probably over kind and do not want to confront.

I can guarantee you that she doesn't see the relationship in the same way. I am sorry to say it.

Good luck and be strong.

I'm friends with my cleaner, she also looks after the cats when needed if I'm away and whilst not in my will she'd definitely love them like her own if I drop down dead tomorrow.

Every year I also increase how much I pay her per hour.

And I make her breakfast.

@Boomboomi your client is not being a good friend and is taking the piss.

Does she pay you for looking after her cat or just cleaning?
having her nails done will be £35/£45 approx per month so if she is that strapped for cash then she can stop having her nails done and pay you fairly.
by paying you less you are essentially paying for her nails.