To increase this clients charge ?

BTW - my husband is a lawyer and he says with clients will often noisily accuse others of their own misdemeanors as a kind of smokescreen. She is accusing you of being transactional because she is transactional.

OP, you are being massively taken for granted, used and manipulated.
She's mean, wants a cheap skivvy/cat carer and you are it.

Friends don't screw each other over.
She is not your friend.

Don't worry about her speaking badly about you, she has massively taken advantage of you.

I think you would be better off telling her that this doesn't seem to be working out for either of you anymore.

You are not doing this work as a charity.

Funny how mean people like to treat the whole subject of money as vulgar, transactional, crass, when THEY are screwing someone over and getting a great deal.

Wake up. You are too nice.
She isn't.
You are being played.

She’s a manipulative cow! Tell her your going rate and maybe offer a small discount (if you want to….personally I’d drop her).

Find another customer to take her slot at your usual rate. Then tell her that the situation has made you think mixing friendship and business is a really bad idea and you are doing this to preserve the friendship.

I bet she disappears from your life within a month, because she's only interested in what you can do for her.

One of my best friends does my cleaning, and I pay her going rate which is slightly above average for our area because

a) being able to use someone I know and trust with my house keys/privacy is priceless.
b) Trying to get out of paying her fairly, and undervaluing her time, would make me a very bad friend indeed.

This woman is no friend to you. She is exploiting your goodwill and you need to stop being manipulated by her!

Sorry OP, but being perfectly honest I think you are being an absolute MUG!!

Anyone who puts having their nails done before paying their cleaner the going rate, let alone a much reduced one, when it enables her to work and have nice things like getting her nails done, holidays, etc., is self obsessed. Has she thought about how you get by with the cost of living increasing every day? She can clearly afford a holiday, so she can afford to pay your increased fee, in fact, she can afford to pay the going rate! If she goes to have her nails done and they increase their fee, she won't make them feel awkward for putting their price up, she'll just pay it, and smile while she's doing it, as it sounds like she's the sort of person who cares more about her image, than other people. I'm afraid she's manipulating you, and you're letting her.

As for her putting in her Will that you will take care of the cat, without even asking you, is an absolute cheek, and unless you've actually physically seen the Will, I wouldn't even believe that she's done it, as I think she's likely told you that, as it's a way of making you feel that you're important to her, without it costing her anything! If you decide to continue this relationship, I would ask her whether she's also stipulated in her Will a sum of money to go to you, in order for you to feed and care for the cat, most especially vet bills. I bet she hasn't!

In your shoes OP, I would end this relationship, she's not your friend, and she's treating you like a fool.

She doesn't want to. I wouldn't waste your breath.

If she does decide to reluctantly accept your generosity this time, you're setting yourself up for more tantraums and tears in the future if you dare to suggest that you're worth anything.

Sorry OP. I'm being brutal because I have been you. 💐

So basically when your business was new she was one of your first clients and you offered her a lower rate as a result, in the hope she’d keep you on? Now your business is more well established so you want to charge her more but she still expects the much lower introductory rate? Is that correct?

She must know she’s getting a bargain, even at the new slightly higher rate you suggested. If she doesn’t like it, she can find a new cleaner and definitely will have to pay them more.

If she can’t afford the going rate for a cleaner, then she either cuts down on other luxuries such as getting her nails done to make money to put aside for the cleaning or she stops having a cleaner.

I’d quite like a weekly cleaner and a fortnightly massage but I can’t afford all of that, so I do without. What I don’t do is make those people cry and feel crap by emotionally manipulating them when they are simply trying to earn a fair wage for their skills and services. She can do one, OP!

I would explain that I’m still giving her a discount
of X for mates rates, but your rates across the basis are going up. Of course if that means she can’t continue to employ you the you’ll of course understand and look forward to catchups regularly.
then just leave it at that

Good grief. The guy who does my garden is a mate but I wouldn’t dream of messing him around when it comes to payments. She’s massively unreasonable.

@Boomboomi looking at this dispassionately, we can separate it out into 3 elements:

1. Your cleaning business
2. Your care of the cat
3. Your friendship

Your friend is trying to roll these up into a package, but they are separate.

Firstly, you have to earn a living. If you need to put your rate up, you do that. In this respect, she is a customer. If you choose to give a loyalty discount, or an 'Early customer' discount, do that. But you need to move away from the language of 'mates rates' or that your pricing is based on your personal relationship.

Your friend is saying that you're being 'transactional' but this is transactional. You exchange money for cleaning. That's business. That's how it works. A service is provided and a payment is given.

You are observing that she is placing value on other optional things- this isn't someone who is struggling to afford basics. It's someone who wants it all. She wants the nails, the holidays, the meals out, and the cleaning. You are providing a luxury service. Nobody needs a cleaner if they are physically able, so it's a luxury. Do you think she was sobbing in the nail salon when they put their prices up? Or in the restaurant? Of course not!

Secondly, the cat. If you want to look after the cat, that's fine. Although unless she's paying you, you aren't obliged. You can still commit to taking care of the cat if she dies without putting yourself on call for every holiday.

Finally, your friendship - she needs to learn boundaries. She is making the friendship transactional by pressuring you to reduce your income. She is implying that your friendship is only valuable to her if it comes with the cleaning.

Overall, you need to draw a line between business and your friendship, and if she can't allow that, then it tells you everything you need to know.

Remind her that you are friends but a subsidised cleaning service isn’t a part of a friendship: it was a mates rate that you offered to her and can no longer afford to / want to do. You are absolutely entitled to prioritise customers who will pay your going rate and not clean for anyone who is unwilling to pay you what you are worth. She’s being incredibly selfish. Rather than being grateful that she had heavily discounted cleaning so generously provided, she’s taken it as an entitlement and is now embarrassing you by making it so awkward when you’re tried to assert yourself. This woman isn’t a good friend. Good friends wouldn’t prioritise their nails and treats for themselves over making sure a friend isn’t taken advantage of financially.

She is manipulating you and exploiting you, OP.

This was never a friendship. Friends treat each other with respect.

Let her go. Professionally and personally.

She is manipulating you. If she was actually worried about your friendship she would be making compromises to pay you a proper rate, because this is your income. It very much sounds like she feels she is entitled to your services and that she is doing you a favour by paying, when in fact it is the other way around.

This is why I always advise self employed people not to give lower rates to regulars or someone who has given a sob story. It's not just about your income, it will inevitably lumber you with a client who doesn't respect you or your work and will take the absolute piss.

Honestly, in your situation, I would be telling her that if she is worried about the friendship then it's best you don't clean for her anymore. You can always continue taking care of the cat as a friend. (Just keep your boundaries strong because she'll definitely keep asking you for cheap or free work.)

Fill her slot with a client who will pay the going rate.

I never pay a friend less for an ongoing service! Its a shocking attitude. Just because we are friends I can pay you less than the service is worth??? Ridiculous. Its simply taking advantage of a friend. Dont feel bad.
As for the cat, you arent obliged to take the cat if she dies. You can say no. A will is her wish but its not your obligation to see that the will is satisfied.

So what favours does she do for you? If it’s a friendship and not transactional then surely it’s mutual and she can come and clean your house every now and then at a cheap rate. If not then it is a job and transactional and she should pay you properly for your services.

You've just reminded me that my late mum voluntarily increased what she paid her cleaner friend regularly, and her gardener friend too, and she only had her state pension. She lived pretty frugally, but never took the piss out of service providers.

this. You are not BU, she is an olympic level manipulator. I have had my current window cleaner for over 20 years. I think of him as a friend. he does small jobs for me that require long ladders. I give him a christmas gift. I have never ever not paid him the going rate and would not consider doing so. If she can't afford a cleaner, she can do her own cleaning.

If she is genuinely seeing you as a friend, why does she want you to financially lose out because of her? What does she do for you (at a reduced rate) for her half of the friendship?

Also, I wouldn’t believe the bit about the will…

She's using you!!
and just because the cat is in her will does not mean you have to look after the cat