To increase this clients charge ?

It is not being mean to charge your usual rate, nor does it mean you are not their family/friend. If she felt that way about you she wouldn't allow it - I have many times employed my brother to do some work for us, he's brilliant at what he does and I would rather pay him than anyone else. However I am not having him losing out financially by working for me! I insist on him charging us properly.

I'd be making little digs
'Your nails look lovely! How much were they?' then answer Oh, I couldn't afford those with what I earn.
and then Oh how lucky you are to be able to go out to eat....I struggle for a week's groceries.
and then later, Sometimes, the people you thought were friends you find don't value you at all and are ready to stitch you up and short change you... it's so sad.......
Then after guilt tripping her, just say you feel bad she would have to go without to pay your new rates, so in order to help her out, you're going to stop cleaning for her to save her money... did she's not to feel bad as you can make up the difference from your other clients....but don't worry you'll always help look after her gorgeous cat.... in a warm and innocent way...😊

I mean this kindly OP, but please give your head a shake.

NO ONE who had an ounce of respect for you or considered you an equal friend, would be texting you such nasty, belittling bullshit.

She thinks you are a jumped up cleaner who has dared to think you should be paid fairly.

Your purpose is to be useful and used.
She has zero respect for you and you really are deluded if you think you are.

Listen to everyone, including your friends.
We can see how little she regards you.

Those texts are disgraceful.

Don't sacrifice your self esteem and respect for such a user.

She's no friend. Step away.

Do you still consider her to be a friend even after starting this thread and receiving loads of replies saying that she is clearly a manipulative user who is taking advantage of you?

My take on the situation is that she is a bad client and an even worse friend.

As a professional you do not have to put up with abuse from clients. If a client of mine insulted me I would get rid of them. There is no 'keep if professional' after this. You don't have to get into emotionally with her (and I definitely wouldn't!), but that doesn't mean you have to keep her as a client either.

It's not worth the upset.

I do think this is a message she needs to hear, copied from @ZenNudist

You need to tell her that her reaction has upset you and she clearly thinks it's Okay to underpay you which is not friend or family behaviour.

She hasn't been slow to say she is upset, and has said some nasty things. In an ongoing relationship she needs to know that, and you are astonished and hurt by what she has said.

Be very clear - she is not your friend. She is emotionally using you. It is time to wise up to this.

Tell her you can’t be friends and also work for her! As such since you value her friendship so much she can’t be your client any more and your last clean will be next week. Then slowly pull back till you are only seeing her/ chatting to her as much or as little as feels comfortable

If she's a friend now I would 100% drop her as a client. You don't do business with friends as it will only cause issues. Find a fully paying client in her place.

I would still feed her cat for free though as a friend

Well she is still alive, and so is the cat so it’s not an immediate issue.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the cat in the will. If she doesn’t change it then that is her choice and fate will decide whether she dies before the cat or vice versa.

I think you need to rethink the cleaning though. She has had a good turn at you cleaning for her at below market rates. You don’t do cleaning as a side line or a hobby, it is how you put food on your table and a roof over your head. Tell her , in writing, that from next week you will be charging her the same amount that you charge your other clients, but that if she wants to terminate the arrangement then that is fine, you will return her key and will fill the slot with someone else. I would put it in writing because otherwise you will have to deal with the kick back which won’t be pretty.

Actually, second thoughts, life is too short. The relationship whether working or friendship is beyond repair. Don’t give her the option. Return the key. Find another client .

Are you still cleaning for her too? If so, how many hours?

How much time do you spend looking after the pet (including travel time)? How often is this?

Feeding a pet while a friend is on holiday is ok, but cleaning their house for below market rate is them taking advantage.

OK so I know on mumsnet everyone's a lot blunter than they would be in real life, everyone screaming she's using you, manipulating you etc, it's harder to tell her straight in real life.

She might actually feel all these emotions and she might actually be genuinely hurt BUT those aren't normal reactions to a business owner increasing their prices slightly. She sounds quite unhinged and you really are best to cancel her as a customer.

In regards to her talking about you, what is she going to say, she tried to put my rates up so I sent her a barage of abuse and now she's cancelled me....I'm not sure anyone can agree with her!

Chalk it up to a bad customer who you got too friendly with.

If you were friends she wouldn’t question paying you the proper amount, I couldn’t imagine low balling one of my friends. This woman is not your friend, she is taking advantage of you.

I have become very good friends with the lady that does my eyelashes. She came to my wedding, we go for coffees, drinks, get each other Christmas and birthday presents etc. I still go to her every 2 weeks for my lashes and wouldn’t dare complain at the price increase!

The situation is untenanble. Find another client and let her find another cleaner. Unfortunately once the lines have been blurred between business and friendship, its difficult to restablish them. Its not impossible, but both parties have to recognise the need and be willing. She has shown that she is unwilling to and is using emotional blackmail to prevent it, and even you are struggling with the concept, as you are dithering around increasing prices but still keeping them below your current rate. The best thing is a clean break. Her cat will be fine and again, if you had a purely business relationship, you wouldn't spend time worrying unnecessarily about who cares for the cat in future. Tell her to change her will and make other arrangments for her cat, she can leave the cat to you but there is no obligation on you to take it. You can't remain friends unfortunately, you need to put your business head on.

I am just WOW at her entitlement.

IS she family, because to say to someone, after only a year, that you 'thought you were family' suggests some really heavy manipulation.

You have a husband and you have other friends. She is a client who you took on when you started your cleaning business. She was your first client and she likely took advantage of that - you didnt know the ropes of being a cleaner and she fed you a sob story of being desperate and not being able to pay, and somehow you have been sucked into her drama. It was obvious that you came to her as a professional, and that you would be expanding your client base, so how long before you had other clients. Her being the first doesnt make her your 'bread and butter' and if it WAS the case that you absolutely relied on her for your wages, why should your work be expected to be below the going rate? What does she do for a living - would she expect to be paid much less than everyone else because she was friendly with them?

How long did you work for just her before you took on new clients, and for her to be claiming such a deep friendship - and how many times have you looked after her cat when she has been away. How many holidays have you taken in this period, to put things in perspective, because I suspect - and I think that you are also beginning to realise, that her difficult predicament isnt quite as precarious as she made out in order to get you on the cheap.And howe the hell did you get into looking after the pet for free?

She sounds tight and manipulative. You are not really friends at this point, you dont really know her at all. She is a client with whom you felt you had a friendly relationship. If she were a boyfriend it would still be too early to introduce her to your kids, and people would say that they are still in the honeymoon/good behaviour time period. This hissy fit shines a big light on her actual character. Id get out now tbh. You may be fond of the pet, but seriously, its just a year, and you cant be treated like this by someone because of liking their pet. A friend would be pleased that your business was doing well, they would support you, even if they could no longer afford you. They would feel happy that they gave you that initial foot up, not expect to be on the make forever because of it, especially when they never even knew you beforehand.

If she was a friend, she wouldn't make a fuss over a five quid increase. Especially as you've already told her she's still getting a hefty discount. I also don't like the emotional blackmail from her.

The mistake you made was agreeing to work with the steep discount in the first place. But I guess you realise that now. In your position now I would say that the whole thing has made you so unhappy upsetting a friend and spoiling a friendship that you would prefer to not work for her anymore - at any price - as it isn’t working to mix work and friendship (but you are happy to look after her pet and value her friendship). Drop the whole matter of the price increase but give her a deadline (maybe a month?) to find someone else then stop. When she sees the going rate, she will realise what a fool she has been but too late.

I think the whole thing is manipulation. Seeing you as a friend, putting you in her will etc. I think she does appreciate you in the way that you were very cheap and she could afford to spend her money on other things. If she didn’t need you to work for her, would she still want to be your friend? Clearly not from her response to you charging an extra £5

What are your normal going rates and what does she pay ?
What does your contract say about increases , have you clearly explained where the increase in your rates go ?

I can only imagine you are working for less than the minimum wage ,.if you're 'snowed' under walk away.

My suggestion:

As you are concerned about our friendship, I have made the decision to discontinue providing services for you. As a friend, I'm sure you understand that I have to earn a living wage, and I am not able to do this while providing heavily discounted services. I was initially happy to do this, but in light of your reaction to a very modest rate rise, I will prioritise myself. As I am very fond of (cat) I am happy to continue looking her (assuming you are). Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Sounds like emotional blackmail.