To increase this clients charge ?

as an aside I have employed several of my friends to work cleaning alongside me and I have paid them a decent rate. One friend asked for more because that is what she got working privately for other clients, so I adjusted to keep in line. You dont short change friends, if anything you are generous to them because you appreciate that mixing friendship and business is risky, and you want to make sure that nobody feels they are being taken advantage of.

She is taking the piss. Big time

if having nails done prob every 3w at £30+ she can afford you

or drop to every other week at full wage

Why are you not calling her out on all the luxuries she enjoys that you can't afford? I think you need to say that since the transactional nature of the arrangement is upsetting her best there is no transaction at all and you will stop cleaning for her but continue your commitment to care for her cat. I strongly suspect she will try to manipulate you to continue cleaning. Ask her how many of her other friends clean for her - none, of course - and then state that is the type of friendship you want. Don't be surprised if she drops you like a hot potato apart from when she goes away and wants free cat sitting.

OP, you seem like such a good soul. She has used you, manipulated you and completely undervalued you.

She sees herself above you and isn't your friend, not remotely.

I would sever the arrangement. Things will only be awkward anyway. You will easily fill her spot, and with someone more than happy to pay the going rate and what you are worth.

Dear fuckface, I have thought about all you said and have decided not to work/clean for you anymore. I'll drop your keys back..... Enjoy the rest of your time away. Boom.

Don't engage with her anymore or mention looking after the cat. Life is hard and stressful enough, without drama and shit from someone who isn't worthy of any more of your time and good will.

She's the one being transactional. The mark of a real mate is they don't demand mates' rates. My suspicion is she will only consider you a friend as long as you are doing her favours. Your favours are getting smaller which in her world view makes you less of a friend. If you were to stop cleaning for her altogether I expect you wouldn't see her for dust, which actually might be quite informative and healthy for you. It would be interesting to see if she hung around anyway - if you giving her less of your labour could be "forgivable" in her eyes, or if you are still worth her time at all if not giving her free labour. But it's not my life to go messing with.

You need to think carefully about what you want to achieve here. I thought the assertive messaged you posted at 13.05 was excellent. As a friend you are allowed to have feelings. She shouldn't get to have ALL the upsides of the friendship, and you all the downsides of it also being a professional relationship. But some people are just takers and people rarely value what they get for free (or cheap).

Suggest you tell her you have thought a lot about what she said and that you agree business is getting in the way of your friendship. So for that reason, you can't work for her anymore. That is transactional anyway, regardless of how much (or little) she pays you. See how long she continues the friendship.

Hopefully, she does. And she can find a full-price cleaner in the meantime!

By the way, a real friend doesn't take money out of your pocket.

OP you have to live, earn a living and you have your own bills to pay.
Despite your close friendship, you need to see this as your livelihood and your business.
She is penalising you - for her own benefit.
Honestly she should feel ashamed of herself.
she is selfishly turning this on herself, rather than thinking about you.

(I had a wealthy client who told me “I would need to rethink my dog care rates” (downwards!)
I just flatly replied that after tax, insurance, national insurance and overheads I was already charging the minimum - and anything less meant it would be unviable.

Please say to your lady that you love her pet and of course you will look after it, but your cleaning business has to be viable as it’s your livelihood.
Leave that hanging, as a statement. You don’t need to justify further. Let her think on it.

She's really manipulative. A true friend would not expect you to continue to work for way under the going rate with the CoL constantly on the rise.

I'd just step away and get a new client at a proper rate. Keep things professional with new clients, and tell the woman that it's best not to mix business and pleasure, as you had no intention of upsetting her.

A close friend of mine expected me to do some work for her at short notice for no pay at all. She is extremely rich - a multimillionaire. She was so offended that I didn't drop all my clients and immediately devot two unpaid weeks to her project (for which she was being paid high six figures herself. Eventually I did a rush job spending hours after work every night. She gave me some boxes of pencils and a jigsaw that had obviously been given to her as unwanted gifts by way of thanks. I still see her. We are still friends, but my opinion of her changed, and I suspect her opinion of me did too, as my rush job was nowhere near the professional standards she anticipated. She had no idea how rude her expectation was.

She is manipulating you. I’d walk away.

I voted YANBU because I understand what youre asking. However I think youre being unfair to yourself. Shes immediately said, she is hurt youd make this transactional by needing to charge more but shes making this transactional by devaluing the work you do for her.

I think before you got close giving her such a discount was generous but daft. And tbh her saying you arent worth what you charge and shes worth free services is entitled, selfish and suggests you arent as close as you think you if your worth to her is tied to her ability to take advantage of you.

Id lay it out, you were generous when you could be because youre kind. But moneys now an issue for you and she can pay your worth or if she cant afford it you will cease being her cleaner and take work where you can be paid, but youre happy to be her friend and even help with the cat. Or id sack her off because her financial troubles shouldnt become your troubles

Put the prices up to the normal rate, if she complains to her friends what is she going to say - that you’re charging her the going rate? They pay that already, and they are obviously happy with it.

She seems to have blurred the lines between friendship and employment.
I think you need to explain that whilst your friendship comes free, your cleaning services don’t. And if she wants you to clean for her she has to pay what you can manage with.
But the friendship is non charging and you are happy to hang out with her on your time for free?

I don't think you are really friends- she is taking advantage of you , if she can afford to eat out regularly and have her nails done she can afford going rate- end of story.
She is trying to make it an emotional issue- she just doesn't want to pay full price and she is willing to destroy you friendship and your peace of mind to fascilitate that.
Your'e only failing is failing to see she is a user and have allowed her to blur the personal and professional in order to save herself money.
I would step away completely-from the pet as well, but if you don't feel you can do that tell her she has to pay the going rate because you are running a business and it has nothing to do with money- if she can't afford it then clean less often, that is what normal people (who are not emotional manipulators) do if they can't afford a cleaner every wek- they have one less often, or not at all.

Stop doing her cleaning. It's the only way out of this. Paying somebody when your friends all too often runs into difficulties.

It’s only awkward because she’s manipulated you into feeling that way. You can terminate everything with one message and the job is done.

There is nothing to discuss. She has no respect for you, your time/effort/your finances. IMO you need to completely detach. The fact that you are attached to her pet is unfortunate, but you will be able to move on.

What an absolute bellended idiot this woman is. She has someone who genuinely loves her pet to look after him whilst she’s away. Giving top quality care. And she treats you like shit on her shoe. You can’t get through to people like that.

First post is correct. You need to terminate everything to do with this piss taking freeloader who is most certainly not your friend.

Services like yours are in high demand.

I get the feeling that, if you were to say mixing business and friendship isn't working for you so you're not going to keep her as a client so that your friendship doesn't become transactional, and mean it, she would drop you before you could blink.

I dont normally comment but your post hit me.
This is where you say, even if we're being friendly. This is also my livelihood so as a friend think of my situation and be considerate to me as I am to you. If she don't see your side of the story, that person is all me me me.
BOUNCE

Hi Barbara,
Looking forward to a face to face catch up when you’re back, think it will be much easier for both of us to talk things through.
In advance of that, it would be good if we could both think about how we are going to move forward happily - your friendship is important to me, as is your cat!
Just to be clear - I believe that the best option for both of us at this stage is that I stop working for you. I have accepted a much lower rate of pay for some time now, and I’m not able to offer this any more. Bills need paying and I am going to look for more hours at my going rate.
I also feel that working for you complicates our friendship more than necessary; I would not for example take on a friend as a paying client as I like to keep my work and social lives separate. In light of this, I would like to stop working for you and preserve our friendship.
I will of course honour all arrangements made about the cat; I’d be delighted to care for it should that ever be required.
Let me know when you are free for a chat/catch up/coffee and we can discuss it all then. Love Boomi x

I like this!
But maybe more gently, you could, when you talk to her, note these things.
After all, you could equally roll out the guilt: she's choosing nails over your livelihood, she's making this transactional, she's asking you to choose her friendship over your income which you would never ask a friend to do, she goes away and she eats out while you can't and when you need this slight increase she can't prioritise you.
You wouldn't guilt a friend like that.
Neither should she.
She's firmly in the wrong here op
I'd figure out what you actually want (I would not want to continue at the low rate even with a slight increase). Might be best to say yes, let's not mix friendship and business because one person working for the other is inherently transactional, always will be, and isn't working, so let's just be friends, how about coffee on x day?

I think you need to say a fond farewell to the cat and move on.

She is guilt tripping you - and succeeding!!!

You are running a business- stop feeling ashamed or embarrassed about it. She’s taking the proverbial. I would end this right now and give her both barrels to be honest. She would have had a very frank retort from me about not appreciating being guilt tripped with talk of poverty by someone who gets her nails done and goes on holiday. She is trying it on big style - surely you can see that?

She will no doubt have to rethink her views if she has to pay someone else - don’t forget that.

She expects you to manage on less money, although she herself cannot?
Seriously my dear, please toughen up, for your own sake.
And friends do not hold to ransom 'I gave you the cleaning job when you were starting out etc. etc.' BS she was getting a lower rate!

What, so act like a passive aggressive childish twat even though OP is entirely justified and plain speaking will suffice?

Nah.