Can someone give me some examples of what struggling with executive functions looks like for an adult with adhd?

Its weird because I was diagnosed as a child in the 80s but I cant relate to any of the descriptions that people give on eg this thread

What's bizarre about that? If I stop someone outside right now and ask them what 'executive function' is there is every chance they won't know what I'm talking about.

DH has ADHD; opens his post about 3 times a year

Only gets around to his ironing every few weeks so it all piles up on our bed

He tends to get behind on accounts for his business

Doesn't cancel subscriptions etc that he doesn't use

I think OP just meant that it is quite a mouthful of a word to describe the phenomenon?!

A close adult relative of mine has ADHD (as does my son but he's 13). For my relative, he is persistently late despite putting a lot of time into planning; constantly racking up parking tickets because he's late and parks in a panic and then forgets to pay them; has an overcrowded and messy home because he constantly purchases things (especially things related to helping get more organised) but is unable to execute and maintain any kind of organisational system for things so his home is a pigsty despite his frequent efforts to tidy and sort things out; constantly losing things - important things, like passports - because he cannot hold tasks in his mind for very long. So he'll pick something up (e.g. passport) with a task in mind, then get distracted by task b, c, d etc and the passport has been put down somewhere along the way. Constantly apologising to others for forgetting tasks, promises, agreements etc. He works incredibly long hours compensating for his disorganisation. And he feels guilty and embarrassed about it all. It's very disabling.

Reading some of the more extreme examples on this thread, I don't understand how you can struggle as badly e.g. microwave explanation, and still be able to drive? Driving takes loads of cognitive functioning with multiple quick decisions and focus required

Nah don’t bother

I know. Now I’m in two minds as to whether I order one with my name on too .., But I know I won’t get around to it so think I’ll just leave it!

Why ask this? She is an adult. Very different from a child.

You’d have quickly had to order another one!!

@Willreturnforsure2 this also wouldn’t have surprised me. Can you imagine 😂

Could be worse… could have forgotten one of your children’s names!!

@Willreturnforsure2

I actually did go to the Doctor about 13 months ago in a particularly stressful period and registered for right to choose but apparently it’s a long waiting list now as so many people have done the same. They operate a triage system in my borough and I have kind of forgotten about it and I think there are probably more urgent cases than mine. I have Not ruled it out exactly but it’s all gone quiet.

In fact, writing all of that down has made me realise I should probably chase it up as this is the status quo!

Both of my DCs have taken up a lot of time / energy the last few years with their own AUDHD stuff so like many parents, we put ourselves last. But they are both in a good place now so I should pick that back up.

A great example of this is I bought myself a bracelet for my birthday with our names on in tiny letters. I forgot to add my name! 😩 It’s like that exemplifies my life!

I find it incredibly frustrating to follow process. Like making a recipe. I will read it all about how it says to add this, then that, then fold this in and stir it that way and I get almost furious with it and just think 'fuck it, chuck it all in and stir, it'll be fine"

Why wouldn’t you go on meds then?

Procrastination. Endlessly putting things off til the very last minute.

High tolerance for mess around you.

You can easily get overwhelmed by a task and it starts to feel too big to even start.

You feel like you don't really have control of your environment.

You struggle to motivate yourself to start doing things even if you talk a lot about needing to do them.

You need someone to either positively or negatively motivate/push you really strongly to do certain things.

A lot of normal day to day tasks seem a bit mysterious. Like you feel like you don't really know how to do them or understand why people do them regularly.

You feel a bit embarrassed almost about how people might think you're lazy or have low standards. When really you do want everything nice and clean and tidy.

If you don't know how to do something you feel like it will be impossible to learn how. Even if it's very simple really.

This is just me!

Things like leaving the house to get somewhere on time; managing your diary so you remember appointments and turn up; being able to complete a number of minor tasks in sequence without being distracted to do something like put on a load of laundry; being able to listen to a question, comprehend what is being asked and provide the key information without going off topic; being able to keep track of your key belongings etc.

It's often to do with completing tasks and remembering things. In my case, a classic example would be: need to do a laundry load. Go into bathroom to get laundry from hamper, but before I even open the hamper, see there is toothpaste on the mirror.Clean the mirror and taps. Hands feel sore from exposure to cleaning fluid (because I forgot to put on rubber gloves). Go downstairs to find the handcream that soothes them, which is near the sink. See a water jug near the sink and remember I need to change the filter. Look in the cupboard under the sink for a new filter but get distracted by the sight of some baby bio that reminds me to feed my big houseplant. Feed houseplant. Meanwhile the laundry is not yet on, my hands are sore, the water filter hasn't been changed. All jobs which take seconds or minutes to execute but my brain sheds information within seconds. It's like being a goldfish. Everyone has occasional times like this, but when it is all day everyday it is so frustrating to live with - for me but also for colleagues, DH, DC.

I promise I am not one of those ‘self diagnosed ADHD people’ ….but both of my teens are diagnosed and on medication. It has dawned on me that I probably am but I’m not going to pursue an assessment. However… as others have said, I have about 15 tabs open all the time on my laptop at work and in my head. I can start making a cup of tea 3 times before I remember to take the teabag out as I’m off cleaning the hob , putting the washing out, tidying shoes .. these jobs are often left abandoned for the next one. Cupboard doors are open, lids are left off things. I’m a single parent so at least I’m not annoying a partner by being like this!

I am not late for things (well rarely more than 5 minutes) but I will underestimate how long it takes to get somewhere and am so desperate not to be late I will break my neck ensuring I get there with my heart in my mouth. I’m too embarrassed to say how many unread emails I have. I lose my glasses all the time (so have about 6 pairs dotted around the house) , I have mastered keys as I now have a place for them! I start cooking whenever I feel overwhelmed and will abandon jobs as I feel calm when I am cooking. Conversations with friends bounce around all over the place.

I don’t think people see a lot of the stuff at home as I look like I am fine. And to a certain extent I am as this is just me - but I do sometimes think - goodness there must be a less chaotic way to live!

About 6 years ago my DD started on ADHD meds and as the dose went up she said she didn’t like the way they made her feel any more. She couldn’t describe it so I took one myself (I know of course I shouldn’t have done but she was in in the middle of a mental health crisis so I just curious) .. I had the most productive day ever!

I think it’s tricky to know by the time you are an adult because you have only ever been you and you are not inside anyone else’s head so how do you compare?

All I can say is - the difference between my DCs (older teens) when they do and don’t take their meds is crazy!

Of course. Im only talking about myself. I am a grown adult who knows how I feel and react.

I would not take that decision for a minor child and would follow advice given.

THIS IS SPADES.

Delaying things that need doing until crisis point, starting tasks and then getting distracted by something new and shiny - I call it magpie brain. Planning - love planning, not so good with the actual doing.

In ADD you have a brain that is running short on dopamine, so it chases dopamine…hence the eleventy billion unfinished projects

BUT - amazing in a crisis, can pull an all-nighter for a deadline and push it over the finish line for the win

Not being able to post stuff even though I have stamps, labels and a post office next door.

For me I have to literally chant to do lists in my head to remember what to do "washing out, dishwasher on, feed the dog, oh the dog needs water, let's start again, washing out, dishwasher on, feed the dog, give the dog water..."

And then DH says stuff like "you're so upright just leave it until later". I can't leave it, I will forget the list.

Bullet journaling helps for work. But I still have 1000 unread emails. Ones I read and reply in my head but never actually reply and I get a stroppy follow up a week later.

Mostly it's social interaction. Trying to follow a thread of conversation, hold in my head what the contribution to that conversation is. I usually mess it up, interrupt or make it look like I'm not listening because I'm trying to think of responses to point A while you had moved through points B and C and then I interrupt and blurt out sometime relevant to A.