to expect 51 year old DH not to look at 20 year olds?

Well said.

And what’s your opinion on 20 year old men and a woman in her 50s?

Nah I wouldn’t like this even without the turn around. His daughter will be an older teen soon. He is creepy as fuck.

Looking is fine, gawking is not.

This post is an odd mix of both being very prudish and very crude.

Very prudish because there only needs to be a 20 or so age gap between a couple for the woman to be young enough to be a daughter.
Is a 35-year-old woman and 55-year-old man weird?
I don't think so.
You're also insisting elsewhere that no women in her twenties could ever find a man of 50 attractive when on fact if he's in good shape, handsome, charismatic etc they very much do.

And it's not because he's necessarily rich or she has daddy issues.
It's because he may be sexy as hell.

And very crude because as disrespectful as this man is, I don't think he was 'eye-f*ing' her at all. Just thinking 'wow she's sexy!'

What a dreadful phrase eye-f*ing is.

So a mindset much displayed on mn that nobody can get with anybody within 1 year of their birth combined with extreme unwarranted crudity.

My understanding was that she had walked by and had her back to him. How was he eye fucking her?

All this talk of whether a young woman would be interested in him is what's pointless. He wasn't trying to signal his interest to her.

Likewise the talk of disrespecting his partner - she was (he thought) unable to see him.

Look id be pissed off in OP:s shoes no doubt about it. I'd feel like he was an embarrassment and sort of be turned off him briefly. But that's all. He didn't set out to hurt her, humiliate her or interact with the random young woman. She is giving this way too much headspace starting a thread about it. It was a random look, that is it!

Myself and DH are into fitness and go to a local gym which we joke is wall to wall bros standing in front of mirrors admiring their pecs. The women are the same. We go because it's handy and the equipment is really good.

Both sexes look absolutely amazing physically. I often find myself admiring someone's physique. The women mainly work out in fitness gear that is basically bikini tops and teeny shorts. Does my DH ogle them when I'm with him? No way, never. Would I be gobsmacked if I was in there sometime unbeknownst to him and spied him admiring someone as she was walking out the door oblivious? I'd feel a pang but then I'd just tease him.

My dad used to do this to young women and girls when I was younger, I hated it. He then ran off with a 26 year old when he was about 54.

I wasn't talking about whether they'd want to or not want to, I was calling out the terminology being used.

What about having attractive female TV stars in their 20's in their Instagram following list? Is that the same?

The marriage might as well be over if you're calling each other names like "lecherous old man" (even if true). Why not skip the name-calling step and just leave him

This! I'd be shaming him right there and then

I feel sorry for you I wouldn’t be able to cope with this and would have to say something, I always wanted a girl, but glad I got two sons for this reason.

‘Stop being such an obvious lecherous old man, Dave, it’s gross’.

Call him out!

Inappropriate turning to stare, but fine looking. A little disrespectful too.

Hahaha yes, so he's either gay or a big liar! 😆

Match his energy. Start looking at younger men.

There is a difference between noticing someone in eyesight, thinking "wow they are pretty/well dressed/hot/good looking" and then immediately moving on with your day. That's not what your husband was doing. I also found that the time I was leered at and cat called the most was between 14-20 and took a massive dive in the decades since

If someone tells you not to be bothered, all men do this overt leering and visual tracking of "fertile young women" they have low standards for men and should be ignored

Your DH should strongly consider his role in this and not take it as an attack. If he does, he's in that group of men who are unwilling to learn or grow and correct their previous unpleasant behaviour towards young girls and women

Millions of years of evolution more like! Of course men will look at an attractive woman. As us women will look at a fit bloke. It's a meaningless spur of the moment instinct.

You’re married to a dirty old man . How grim .

But it wasn't an isolated incident, this man is a pervert. It isn't "screaming LTB", it's not wanting to be married to an entitled letch who thinks women are their property to gawk at.

Gawd, men of all ages have been looking at attractive women since time immemorial. That's not the issue. The head swivelling is yuk though and disrespectful.

If it's true what you say and you've never seen him do this before and you've been together 8 years, then he could have been looking at her for any number of reasons. You don't know it was her body - could have been that she reminded him of someone, that he knows her, anything. He isn't automatically perving.

If he was, it's gross.

Your whole post is confusing though, because perving or not, his appearance just isn't related to his behaviour. Being fit yourself doesn't make you more likely to be a letch, and plenty of unfit men in their 50s perv over 20 year olds like they think they stand a chance. Why did you tell us what he looks like?

Also, you don't seem to like your husband very much.

I don't know if YABU or not because none of us know what was in his head when he was looking and you describe this as behaviour he's never shown before.

Why didn't you just ask him? I'd have asked my husband - did you know her or something? Why were you staring at her?

I wonder how he would feel about an older man eying up his DD like that.

Disgusting. Perry middle aged bloke!!