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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to completely hate my phone?

56 replies

Sorab · 31/08/2026 22:30

I am 55 yo, loved the internet when I first got on it, going on message boards then Facebook, downloading tracks from kazaa all the rest of it. I loved the convenience of being able to shop, bank, book holidays even (!) online and would fire up my trusty modem to do all this stuff.

So when smartphones came along I thought : great, now I can do all this without having to log in to my computer, I can just do it wherever. Everything will be simple and seamless, how freeing.

Fifteen years later and I hate my fucking phone. I had to turn off notifications because they were sending me mental but all that means is that every night I go through them, reply to the ones I can, ditch the others and increasingly I feel harassed and got-at. Because it's fucking endless.

Sign up for eternal emails or pay 10% more, review this product, please review this product, did you enjoy this product and if not why haven't you reviewed it what are you some kind of boomer. Any questions? Download our app. Want to park your car? Download our app. Please ensure you read the 140 page terms and conditions in the 30 seconds you have before payment is due in order that you can in full knowledge tick the consent box before we shaft you with a £75 fine.

Fancy a trip to the theatre? Download our app. Talk to the bot in the meantime. It won't help but it does mean your active life span is significantly shorter. Want to see the Uffizi? Wade through endless scam sites and getyourguide scalpers before, eight hours in, triumphantly securing an entry ticket for 4.30pm on the 56th of Doctember 2089. Bank error in your favour? WRONG, you fucking dweeb. I think you'll find that you consented to being hacked by some gibbering fool in St Petersburg when we closed your local branch and now this £2000 shortfall is on you.

And that's before you even consider all the personal communications. Nobody phones any more. It's endless fucking WhatsApps. It takes eleventy billion years just to arrange a drinks meet-up and when you finally get close to zero hour all day it's pingpingping 'i might be late ' 'im on my way ' 'im on the train but it's busy ', yeah sure fascinating but we don't need to know this. It's like being in a constant state of interruption. I'm not even including the hobby group/work/street WhatsApps because I've long ignored them. I figure if my house/child/town is on fire I'll realise and anything else I'll get to eventually.

In just a few short years, really less than 15, I've gone from thinking that technology is brilliant to feeling harassed, bullied and mildly mugged by it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Seriestwo · 01/09/2026 08:49

And the doom. I’m interested in the. Disaster in Nepal but I don’t want to see bits of people. Or worse. I definitelydon’t need to see Ai videos of human tragedy made by wicked people for clicks . But if I want the news I get these horrible and unhelpful things too.

allgoodhere783 · 01/09/2026 08:45

I agree. Before, it was a nice thing, smoother internet, instant news. Now, it's compulsory. However, I've started carrying a book and old-fashioned notepad around instead. Great for jotting ideas/doodles, the kids enjoy it too.

DrinkReprehensibly · 01/09/2026 08:37

What I hate about technology is that it seems to have made it possible for virtually every company to "game-ify" every purchase. I just want to exchange fair money for fair goods and services, but I increasingly feel like every transaction is part of a gamble to not be swindled. Even going to Sainsbury's, I might be ripped off if I don't go on the app and click a button to "activate my nectar prices" and then you feel pressure to buy those products as the prices are supposedly better. I know you could ignore it but this is what I mean by it feeling like I have to resist some kind of game. It feels like it's the case with so many products... Don't buy it there, buy it through us/at the right time/on this special day to get the best price. I just want a clear pricing structure based on what stuff costs to produce please.

Nonnimuss · 01/09/2026 08:25

I agree completely @Sorab. So many times I’ve just wanted to ditch the fucking phone. But it has me trapped. My whole life is on there. I wouldn’t know how to function in the practical parts of life without it. How would I pay someone, or get paid? Go to the non existent bank branch? I need my calendar on me at all times for work and I’m often out and about. I have to be able to contact people for work, and be contactable when on the move. If I went back to a landline and answering machine, plus paper diary, it would make things a lot slower for potential clients and I would lose out. In fact, hardly anyone calls me. Most of my comms are email or text message, so if I didn’t have a smart phone I think my business would be over, because nobody could message me.
I wish I could leave civilisation behind and become an off grid spoon whittler, but I would very likely starve.
There is no way back. All escape routes have been cut off. Nobody makes any money out of us all connecting with one another face to face. Nobody makes any money from us being content.
I completely hate my phone and everyone else’s.

CheeseWisely · 01/09/2026 07:58

My Stepdad (in his late 50s) has never had a mobile at all. It’s is possible to live without one, although he doesn’t drive so doesn’t need parking apps!

Orca123 · 01/09/2026 07:52

I too totally resent the power they have over us.
Banking
Ordering tickets
QR scan for this and that
The list is endless

And as someone who goes to a lot of gigs don't get me started on people who watch the whole thing through their phone.

You see friends and family in the pub or restaurant not talking to each other, all just staring at the phone, it's so sad.

Sesma · 01/09/2026 06:29

I don't use WhatsApp now, I did when it first came out but if anyone wants me they can text, I have switched on the silence unknown callers, again if they want me they can text or voicemail.

HappiestSleeping · 01/09/2026 06:14

@Sorab you missed that when there is an app that works really well, nobody can leave it alone. They have to constantly fiddle and eventually take something that worked really well and totally screw it up.

Original poster
Sorab · 31/08/2026 23:49

So glad you agree about the FT! It's been a joy rediscovering it.

Ofc government (and I include the NHS in this) spiels are freely available. It's not exactly quality stuff though is it - all civil servants and careerists. The lancet, law reports etc are all subscription based. And most of the internet is just fucking dire now. Scammers, bots and thieves, to paraphrase Cher.

OP posts:
lljkk · 31/08/2026 23:39

Most serious academic publications are open-access.
NHS website is free, so is NICE, NIHR, Parliament documents.

Some browsers let you turn off AI mode and then you instead get links to original text and can see origin of info to decide on credibility.

FT does fantastic journalism, agreed !

Original poster
Sorab · 31/08/2026 23:35

@lljkk I would have agreed with you 15 years ago, unreservedly. Ten years ago with some reservations, five years ago with a few more, but now? Sweet Jesus, trying to get accurate information from the internet is the devil's own job. And we're still only on the cusp of AI. Once it really takes effect the thing will be unusable.

I've already gone back to reading print news (the Financial Times, if you're interested) because even though I can access some quality newspapers on my phone it doesn't give me anything near a balanced view in terms of articles it suggests and the depth and scope isn't comparable to leafing through a paper page by page and seeing what catches my eye.

I think over the next few years more people will do the same. I hope they do. I don't trust one bit anything that the algorithms throw at us.

Maybe serious academic publications, but they're now mostly behind paywalls.

Already, we're close to the point where anything you want to verify, you need to look up in a book.

OP posts:
lljkk · 31/08/2026 23:21

I went to my childhood home town recently, I noticed still in its old location, public library that I used to visit so often because... so many things we couldn't do easily in 1970s.

We had to phone, read countless books, cross check sources, look up addresses in special directories, wait for grumpy photocopier, phone up for addresses, wait for call back, order stuff in the mail by filling in a form and writing a check and wait weeks for delivery. Then weeks to send items back if not right. I would phone so many stores trying to find some specific good(s) then figure out when could I get to those stores to buy. The library was open limited hours.

I really really really like the convenience of the Internet.
Online banking is the Bees Knees and the Hamsters Cheeks, it's ruddy wonderful.

Emails or Messages you don't like: Unsubscribe, Delete, Ignore.
I only have WhatsApp notifications on ,the rest I look at when suits me.

Need a quick decision from somebody: PHONE them. It's not rude. They can decline if busy.

Thecatspantaloons · 31/08/2026 23:20

TheWytch · 31/08/2026 23:04

I've said for years that I'd love a phone that literally just made or received calls. No texts, no internet no nothing.

My mum still has one and she's blissfully unaware - but then she has dementia, so that has a bit to do with it 😳.

Original poster
Sorab · 31/08/2026 23:17

Kidsandhouse · 31/08/2026 23:06

Welll... when you put it like that.

Yes! I hate my phone too.

I've a pain in my behind with all the apps, logins, passwords, password managers, 2fa, but then, I had to speak to a person today for something household bill related and they asked me do many f#£king questions about signing up for this thing and that thing, confirming the other thing, that although initially i was delighted to speak to a real person, who was very helpful and pleasant, I ended up nearly hanging up on her with frustration that the conversation wasn't over yet!

Gah! Rage...

Pretty sure that some virginal IT person designed the script that the customer service rep was reading from.

I think that's a large part of the problem. The internet is in general designed by poorly socialised males who won't be content until everyone on earth is as angry and dissatisfied with life as they are. We weren't like it to start with, but give us another few years of interacting with bots and scammers every time we try to undertake even a single simple transaction and we'll be joining them in Incelhalla.

OP posts:
PlumColouredBedding · 31/08/2026 23:10

YANBU and the fucking things never work properly anyway and they cost a FUCKING fortune!!

Kidsandhouse · 31/08/2026 23:06

Welll... when you put it like that.

Yes! I hate my phone too.

I've a pain in my behind with all the apps, logins, passwords, password managers, 2fa, but then, I had to speak to a person today for something household bill related and they asked me do many f#£king questions about signing up for this thing and that thing, confirming the other thing, that although initially i was delighted to speak to a real person, who was very helpful and pleasant, I ended up nearly hanging up on her with frustration that the conversation wasn't over yet!

Gah! Rage...

TheWytch · 31/08/2026 23:04

I've said for years that I'd love a phone that literally just made or received calls. No texts, no internet no nothing.

Original poster
Sorab · 31/08/2026 23:01

concertinacornflake · 31/08/2026 22:50

There was a thread about lateness and the number of people who said they'd message if a couple of minutes late. Who needs that level of update?

Maybe it's time to rise up against it all and just collectively decide to stop doing it?

I personally don't do it. I wish others wouldn't too.

The other side of this mindset that texting replaces human interaction is people cancelling arrangements via WhatsApp, just outright deciding not to come and sending a message rather than having an actual conversation - I've seen this a few times one of which was to a supper at my house (other people were coming too so tbf it wasn't a disaster but still) which to my mind is quasi sociopathic behaviour, and this from people who I've known a long time and think probably aren't sociopathic but for whatever reason are so entrenched in technology they're not thinking right.

OP posts:
durdledoris · 31/08/2026 22:59

Spot on.

maras2 · 31/08/2026 22:59

Thank Goodness I'm a boomer and don't give a shit.Grin
Have this from me Gin Cake Wine and ignore the notifications for one night at least.

Firetreev · 31/08/2026 22:55

You're not wrong. I've realised recently just how unhappy my phone is making me. Algorithms are dreadful making us stressed, miserable and divided. It used to be fun, but now seems soul sucking.

concertinacornflake · 31/08/2026 22:50

There was a thread about lateness and the number of people who said they'd message if a couple of minutes late. Who needs that level of update?

Maybe it's time to rise up against it all and just collectively decide to stop doing it?

WhyGetInvolved · 31/08/2026 22:47

Yes. I think there was a brief moment in time when the internet and phones made things easier and better. But we’ve now reached the stage where in some emergency situations it’s amazing and irreplaceable, but day-to-day life is being ruined by endless password requests, resets, scrolling through multiple pages of crap, thousands of emails etc etc. It’s a nightmare.

Original poster
Sorab · 31/08/2026 22:46

I miss saying 'see you in the pub at 8 on Friday' then not hearing a peep until you all got there.

Yes, that's what humanity did since forever. Why do we now feel the need to send a WhatsApp at 7.55 saying 'nearly there' ? Of course you're nearly there. You're due there at 8. Ffs this is not news.

OP posts:
brisamarina · 31/08/2026 22:44

Brilliantly put, I could not agree more. I’m a little bit younger than you OP and ignore all WhatsApps unless they genuinely need a quick response, usually DH asking what to feed kids for tea etc but even so, pretend I’m dead.
I have deleted and deactivated all social media, have my phone permanently on do not disturb. I fucking hate the intrusion and the expectation that we’re all instantly accessible. I genuinely grieve the days before phones when there was human connection, interaction and people experienced life rather than living through a screen. You’re absolutely not wrong.