AIBU to completely hate my phone?

Me too- even now every few minutes I’m back to mn/ facebook/ instagram. I’m off for one week, and I’m spending too much of it online. Worst thing is I’ve a tea good book at the moment (and a house to get under control but less of that!!😉)

The flaw in your argument lies in the 6th sentence down when you say whens there's no other way to pay for something - this is the fault with this smartphone world and precisely what the OP was talking about- you are way more dependent on it than you realise.

My mum and one of my friends don't have smart phones and they are hindered without me or someone else with a smartphone.
It's not just about social media addiction, the OP is alluding to, it's the world forcing you or someone you know , to have one.

I voted YABU.

I have had a mobile phone for 30 years, a smartphone for 25. Despite that I have managed not to let my phone take over my life. I don’t hate it. It is a useful tool. Nothing more. I will download apps if it saves me money or there is no other way to pay for something, but then delete them afterwards. The same with joining email lists. Get the 10% off then unsubscribe.

When I last changed my phone about four years ago, I just didn’t bother re-installing WhatsApp or any social media apps. I haven’t missed them.

For me putting a small barrier in place is usually enough, it makes me stop and think "do I really want to go on this site, or is this just a habit/boredom/etc"? And it means when I occasionally did actually need to access the site (e.g. get details of an event from facebook) I still can.

There are apps and browser extensions that implement a harder block, that you can't get around, if that option works better for you.

I am with you about apps. Especially for those who use a car and parking apps.

My DS is 22 and also hates his phone! His social life is conducted on it so there’s not much he can do, he often leaves it in another room when he has to concentrate on something etc

I found how to set up different notification noises.

So important ones have their own noise and all the rest are muted.

It saves having to pick up the phone to figure out what is going on.

Do you not just disable focus mode when you want to get on the sites?

Highly recommend the book "How to break up with your phone" - it's a useful and entertaining read.

On my phone, I have no social media apps, and most notifications turned off. I use the digital wellbeing settings to set it to focus mode when I need to get things done, which blocks chrome too, so I can't access waste-of-time websites. (I've put the icon for the digital wellbeing app on the front page). I often have it set to grayscale, which makes it less exciting to my brain than all the bright colours. I "put the phone to bed" to charge in another room at night, so I can't reach for it the moment I wake up.

Still not a 100% success, but at least makes the fight against phone addiction a more level playing field.

You do have the ability to de install apps if you want to. This can take a smart phone down to a very basic level if you delete enough of them.

The thing that tends to annoy me more is these days everyone seems to want you to go through their app.

I suspect this is because their app is actually a data harvesting machine that tries to get as much knowledge as possible for the app owner to sell on.

The other annoying thing is that because everyone wants to force you to use their app, you end up with hundreds of apps you hardly use. This is especially true if you travel and need local apps for things like train timetables and other things.

Of course you can delete apps at any time, but it is a pain to have to reset yourself on the system every time.

Could not agree with you more OP. Your description is brilliant. My problem Is also smartphone addiction. I hate it but don’t know how to stop. Any tips anyone?

Your last paragraph nails it OP! 15 years ago I worked in a media job at the forefront of social community building. Now I just work on projects that are as far from internet news as is possible.

It already is!

I saw a good word to describe all this: enshittification

I swear they regularly let work experience kids loose on my banking app, it's always being messed about with and 'improved'.

I agree! I was actually thinking about this recently, when I was on a flight. I know you can actually pay for WiFi on board now- but I didn’t- and it was blissful! I thought to myself how great it was that I knew my phone was out of action for several hours and there was nothing I, or anyone else, could do about it! I didn’t feel any worry or guilt about checking/ not checking it, because it was pointless doing so without internet connection. Admittedly, I did still use it to watch some Netflix programmes that I had pre-downloaded though

One positive is that I read that soon AI will destroy itself, because it keeps taking in its own slop and regurgitating it, so soon will be completely unreliable.

I have been planning to get a “dumb phone” for a while. An old Nokia or similar. Use that for only texts and calls. Then putting the iphone in a drawer and only getting it out when I need to use banking, google etc.

I’d have to take both out to the shops though, to pay for parking for example.

Agree! I’ve started keeping my phone on airplane mode (I still keep access to my music and audiobooks which is all I really care about) and turning it off at specific times when I have capacity to reply. Also have deleted many apps and have to get the laptop out to use those sites.

Archiving WhatsApp chats was a revelation! Highly recommend.

I try and rationalise it as A) years ago all these messages would be via letter so my late replies are still quicker than a week in the mail and B) if anything is an actual emergency they'll contact my DH and I’ll find out that way.

I do miss going online

Although as a millennial who hates phone calls, I love texts/whatsapp

Completely agree. We are not built for being permanently contactable and dealing with 100s of pieces of information an hour.

It was better when the internet was in a separate room of the house!

It's called enshittification, and you can get degrees in it.

The UK is a world leader too.

I agree.
It is a tiny tyrant.
I have actually started shutting it in a drawer in another room for hours on end which sort of ruins the point of a mobile phone but I feel the need to try to reset this master/servant situation which has developed.

Be more ruthless - block, delete, ignore, switch off notifications, use 'do not disturb' as much as poss, use silent mode sometimes.

Basically make yourself less available. Get rid of the apps which are making your life worse. The deluge of notifications can disturb your peace at the worse of times. The people I know who receive lots of notifications the whole time seem to be in a state of constant high alert. It's not good for your mental health.