Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I unreasonable to sit close to a friends boyfriend as there was lack of chairs to sit on?

85 replies

HandsOfMyStinkingBishop · 31/08/2026 18:07

I was at my friend Ivan’s house with his girlfriend Tina and another 2 friends.
There were 2 small 2 seater sofas and so I sat on the floor in front of the sofa Ivan and our friend Jim were sitting on.
I sat more in front of Ivan than Jim but it was so I was facing the other sofa to talk our other friends and see the tv and there was more room that way because of how furniture was arranged.

We were having fish and chips from the chippy, everyone was eating but Tina was sorting hers in the kitchen when we sat down.
When she came back from the kitchen and saw where I was sitting she started ranting saying I was sitting between Ivan’s legs and leaning on him (I wasn’t) and telling me to move.

Our friend Martian said Tina was being paranoid and she got more wound up but Ivan was just calmly eating his fish and shaking his head.
This made Tina even angrier and she said “you just stuff your face and don’t say anything you piggy man” and was making pig snorting noises.
Ivan told her she was being embarrassing but she said “you don’t care about me, you are just a fat greedy warthog more bothered about gulping that down then anything else” then she told me to leave and said I was as bad as him and threw some of her chips at me!

Martin tried to calm her down but I left and told Tina to grow up, it was a ridiculous overreaction to a non event.

No one had been drinking and I’ve name changed for this.
I’m upset as we’ve all been friends for over 20 years and Tina should trust me, was I wrong to sit in front of her boyfriend? (even though it wasn’t touching him and I was sat in front of Jim as well.)
I’ve never seen her behave anything like that before and she was sobbing as well was shouting so she was upset as well as angry.
We are in our late 30’s not young so it was bizarre behaviour from an adult.

Would I BU to just ignore her until I get an apology or should I apologise and check she’s ok and find out why she lost the plot and reassure her nothing is going on between me and Ivan?
There must be more to it and his reaction seemed like he’d had enough.

I know this sounds like made up nonsense and I really wasn’t sure about posting because I would struggle to believe it if I read it but this is a genuine post and I’ve been a regular contributor on this site for years and wouldn’t waste peoples time by making troll posts.

OP posts:
nomas · 31/08/2026 20:38

JuRoo · 31/08/2026 20:37

I’m surprised that none of the men had enough chivalry to offer you a seat. Anyway, try & ask where what’s really going on in their relationship cos it’s not healthy. She’s insecure about him leaving her or something.

She’s abusive, let’s not minimise abusive behaviour just because it’s a woman doing it.

JuRoo · 31/08/2026 20:37

I’m surprised that none of the men had enough chivalry to offer you a seat. Anyway, try & ask where what’s really going on in their relationship cos it’s not healthy. She’s insecure about him leaving her or something.

nomas · 31/08/2026 20:36

HandsOfMyStinkingBishop · 31/08/2026 20:26

I’m torn between completely writing her off and worrying and seeing if there is something more to it that caused her to snap like that.

I’d hope if I had some kind of breakdown that my friends would know me and love me enough to show concern but that was batshit behaviour! It would be seen as abusive if it was a man when I think about it.

It sounds like you are ready to overlook really bad behaviour including abuse of a man just as long as you can have a friend.

Do you have other friends?

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/08/2026 20:32

MuckSavage · 31/08/2026 20:31

You were eating on the floor. Gross.

Yeah....that's the issue here 🙄

MuckSavage · 31/08/2026 20:31

You were eating on the floor. Gross.

HandsOfMyStinkingBishop · 31/08/2026 20:26

HaveYouSeenThatLadysHat · 31/08/2026 19:52

I feel sorry for him, she is abusive. If a bloke did this it would be majorly concerning. Ditch her, not a friend you need at all! I'd be scared to be around her tbh.

I’m torn between completely writing her off and worrying and seeing if there is something more to it that caused her to snap like that.

I’d hope if I had some kind of breakdown that my friends would know me and love me enough to show concern but that was batshit behaviour! It would be seen as abusive if it was a man when I think about it.

OP posts:
HaveYouSeenThatLadysHat · 31/08/2026 19:52

I feel sorry for him, she is abusive. If a bloke did this it would be majorly concerning. Ditch her, not a friend you need at all! I'd be scared to be around her tbh.

Anarchy99 · 31/08/2026 19:44

NinaGeiger · 31/08/2026 19:42

I thought it was funny @Gardenisablooming

Did you spit your tea out or wake the baby though (the old MN indicator for something being funny)

NinaGeiger · 31/08/2026 19:42

Anarchy99 · 31/08/2026 19:39

I don’t think that was quite as funny as you hoped…

I thought it was funny @Gardenisablooming

Anarchy99 · 31/08/2026 19:39

Gardenisablooming · 31/08/2026 19:35

Sadly when the chips are down op she simply isn't your mate...

I don’t think that was quite as funny as you hoped…

Springtimeinsunshine · 31/08/2026 19:38

Don't apologise but if it was out of character for her then do check in and see if she is okay. Something caused her to react like that, maybe someone close to her is ill/hospital and she just lashed out.

Gardenisablooming · 31/08/2026 19:35

Sadly when the chips are down op she simply isn't your mate...

Anarchy99 · 31/08/2026 19:33

You were out of order sitting there and she was out of order ranting.

You all sound about 12 years old

Greenmouldycheese · 31/08/2026 19:30

She sounds insane. Poor man should run away.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 31/08/2026 19:25

This is absolutely the truth and I won’t hear another word of anyone doubting you hun. You know what happened as you were there hashtag truth.

What did Julie say though? Has she told Dave yet?

HalzTangz · 31/08/2026 19:24

I'm thinking he's either cheated or following/messaging women to cause that reaction assuming it's the first time she's been that way with you in 20 years

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/08/2026 19:23

TFImBackIn · 31/08/2026 18:12

What have I just read?!

Sounds like what the authors of some of the incident statements we deal with when Y9 are taking lumps out of one another would do next.

askmehwIkw · 31/08/2026 19:21

There were 2 small 2 seater sofas and so I sat on the floor in front of the sofa Ivan and our friend Jim were sitting on.

Not the point of the thread but Ivan and Jim are no gentlemen are they?

Hadalifeonce · 31/08/2026 19:19

I wouldn't apologise, but might give it a couple of days, then ask if she's OK as she was acting out of character (assuming she was )?

mondaytosunday · 31/08/2026 19:19

Wow when you were describing the scene I was imagining a bunch of teenagers and one was getting into a jealous strop…
I hope she’s Ivan’s ex now.

IronEverything · 31/08/2026 19:14

Forget her, she threw chips at you and kicked you out of her home!!

I'd message Ivan and ask if he's okay as you're worried that he's in an abusive relationship as her behaviour was out of control.

Bringmebacktothe90s · 31/08/2026 19:09

Sounds like Ivan has done something to upset her or make her paranoid. And you’ve got caught in the crossfire. She is batshit though she shouldn’t have done that. Is this her normal behaviour

BringBackCatsEyes · 31/08/2026 19:05

"Our friend Martian"👽

PlumColouredBedding · 31/08/2026 19:02

Martian 🤣

TheLambtonWorm · 31/08/2026 19:00

Shatteredallthetimelately · 31/08/2026 18:14

Vicky pollard going round in my head.

Vicky Pollard would have said worse than "piggy man" ... Tbh who the fuck talks like this irl?

Swipe left for the next trending thread