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Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?

319 replies

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:00

This happened last week and it has been on my mind. I would like some feedback as I'm too embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends.

I was driving to a smallish, local town for some shopping. I wanted to park in a side road that has limited access and I was looking for the way in. I got confused looking for the entry way and ended up committed a traffic offense in which I mounted and crossed the pavement (I could go into more detail on this, but it's a bit complicated to explain the exact layout of the road). I immediately realised my mistake and drove off the other side. No one was involved, no pedestrians, no other cars, but it was a stupid mistake and I felt a bit shaken afterwards.

A couple of minutes later, I was buying a parking ticket at the machine, and I was approached by a random bloke, who asked me, quite forcefully "was that just you, in that blue car, who drove across the pavement?". I was a bit taken aback, but answered honestly - I said, yes it was me, I made a stupid mistake, I was confused by the road layout.

As I walked back to my car, he followed me and continued to go on. He said "that could have been really dangerous", I said yes, sorry, repeated I had made a mistake, and explained again that I had been confused, and that I wasn't from the town and didn't visit often so was unfamiliar with the road layout. He then said "it's lucky no-one was injured", and I said that there was no-one there (I'm starting to get pretty irritated at this point). He then kept saying "I've never seen anything like it, it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in my life". By now I'm really pissed off with him, and suggest that if that's the case maybe he should get a f*ing life (I'm not proud of myself). We then shortly arrived at my car, at which point he said "Well, you should be more careful", and I said as a parting shot (really cross now) "Well you should be more careful or you'll get punched in the face". (Double meaning here - that's how he was making me feel, but also, if he goes around accosting people like this, it's likely to happen in the future). At this point he walked off, possibly smirking.

I should also add that my elderly mum was in the car, waiting for me in the passenger seat and she told me afterwards that he had approached her and demanded if she was driving, before finding me at the parking machine.

Anyway, I drove home home later, pretty upset about the whole thing and fully aware that it wasn't my finest hour. About 2 hours later there's a ring on my doorbell and it's the police. The guy has reported me for threatening him. I think he must have given them the car registration and I got the impression a police car went past my house later and saw my car on the drive!

I was, of course, horrified. I told the police the whole story as above, and they listened, and were actually sympathetic to me (or seemed to be), and told me they would be taking things no further and closing the report down. They even seemed to agree that the guy is, in fact, inviting trouble by approaching people like this. I wonder if he is already known to them for being a constant complainer.

I can't believe it though. I feel now that I was deliberately goaded. I mean, what did he expect by harassing a stranger - if he was that worried about my driving he should have gone straight to the police. What was he hoping to achieve?

I also feel really ashamed of myself for losing my temper and rising to him (I'm actively trying to get less irritated with people in day to day life), and I feel pretty stupid for making the driving mistake in the first place.

I'd just be really interested to hear what people think about this situation. Was I out of order or was he?

OP posts:
AngelaP71 · 31/08/2026 23:45

Overtaking at speed on a bend, for instance, would be dangerous driving. Or pulling out directly in front of someone, or aggressively tailgating another vehicle, or lots of other scenarios.

Driving a very short distance across a dropped kerb pavement to a service road, when there are no pedestrians or moving traffic anywhere nearby, is not ideal, but doesn't seem excessively dangerous in the circumstances described. It was a mistake and OP is well aware she shouldn't have done it. The police apparently didn't find it necessary to haul her off to prison, even if some here think that's what should have happened.

tripleginandtonic · 31/08/2026 23:21

Mooselander · 31/08/2026 13:03

He shouldn’t have harangued you, but you were out of order with your threats.

This.

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 23:03

I'm just going to put a final clarification on here (see diagram) as a few people seem to think I deliberately drove over the pavement, disregarding pedestrian safety. While I accept I made a stupid mistake, I tried to exit from it as safely as possible.
As shown, I tried to turn right at the dropped kerb as I believed it was an access way to the service road beyond.
I had already mounted the kerb before realising my mistake.
I then had a choice, either reverse back into two way traffic, and also potentially anyone crossing from the far side of the road or continue forward a very short distance, which I could clearly see in front of me, and where there were no pedestrians or traffic at that time.
I chose to go forward. I fully disclosed all of this to the police and they have not taken any of it any further.
The things that I am berating myself about are that I made the mistake at all and that I let the man get to me and reacted badly. I definitely don't ever want any of it to happen again.

Got into an argument and got reported to the police... what do you think?
OP posts:
SALaw · 31/08/2026 22:58

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 18:54

I just wanted to say that I am not AI or a previous poster, as has been suggested a couple of times. I know I behaved badly in this situation - it caught me off my guard and although I initially tried to react calmly and de-escalate (as I knew I was in the wrong), I became angry as things continued. I have started this post to try to straighten it out in my head as it is still bothering me.

There have been some genuinely helpful responses on here, which I will try to use if I ever find myself in a confrontational situation again. To answer a few questions, yes I am middle-aged, I'm average height / build, I've never hit anyone, and I was not intending to hit the guy in question and I know I shouldn't have said it.

If anyone is interested, I will clarify the driving mishap. It seemed too long-winded to put it all in the original post.

The town I was visiting has a main (busy) high street, and a parallel road (a kind of service road) running in front of the shops on one side. In places the two roads are separated by a wide-ish pavement, and in other places by perpendicular parking bays, which are accessed from the service road. (There is another pavement the other side of the service road, running directly in front of the shops).

I wanted to park in the service road bays, but I didn't know how to get into the service road. I had a vague memory that there were a couple of access points as you drive up the high street and I was looking out for them.

As I was driving up, I saw a wide, dropped kerb to my right... and I thought "there it is", so I started to make the turn into what I thought was the access point. As I drove up the kerb, I realised I had made a massive mistake, and that I was actually driving up a crossing point, onto the pavement. I made a split-second decision (knowing I had to get out of the situation as quickly as possible), so rather than reversing back out into the high street, I continued on a couple of metres which allowed me to drop down into the service road. There was no moving traffic here, only parked cars and there were no pedestrians around at that point.

No one was affected by my actions, but I know that I made a bad move. I assume that the man who approached me was a pedestrian who observed it from further away - maybe from the other side of the street, or maybe from the second pavement by the shops.

I don’t see why you think it unreasonable that he called you out on this and you attempting to brush it off as a minor error probably led to him trying to emphasise to you the level of stupidity and danger it represented.

SALaw · 31/08/2026 22:54

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 13:24

Thank you for the supportive posts. I do agree that he probably wouldn't have approached me if I was a man.

I also agree with the people saying I shouldn't have sworn or spoken threateningly (for what it's worth, I think it was obvious I wasn't actually going to hit him, they were words spoken in anger, we were already parting ways as I had arrived back at my car).

Just to clarify a couple of things - I wasn't moving towards him or making threatening actions, I was walking away. I do feel in hindsight that he was trying to make me say something like that, so that he could go and report me.

I do also know that I should not have driven on the pavement. It was not deliberate, I drove up what I thought was an access way, and immediately realised I should not have, but I had to carry on as it would have been more dangerous to reverse back into the road. But it was a really stupid mistake, I know that, and I agree that I was already feeling upset and probably defensive about it when he approached me.

No one can make you say something. You said it because you thought it. You cannot blame him for the words you said.

HumberSquid · 31/08/2026 22:27

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 22:22

Her driving has been ‘pulled up on’ by herself, the man and the police. She has held herself fully accountable for her mistake. She did with the man too. And the police. What do you want her to do? Self flagellation?

He was OTT.

He was a bit ott yes but the OP was v v ott with the punch in the face comment.

Spiffingdarling88 · 31/08/2026 22:25

AngelaP71 · 31/08/2026 20:18

Don't be silly. She made a mistake. Anyone's can make a mistake. She is unlikely to make the same one again.

It never fails to amaze me how much some people on here love to stick the boot in. Honestly think some posters must jump up and down with glee when they find something to be judgey about.

100%. I'm glad MN isn't real life! Some people's opinions are completely bizarre.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 22:22

BlueFlowerySky · 31/08/2026 22:13

Driving onto the pavement, can see how that may be accident.

Realising it’s a pavement and continuing to drive is a deliberate decision. It’s unsafe and lazy driving.

The man was unreasonable for going on and on about it, but he wasn’t unreasonable for confronting OP about it.

ETA that just because OP is a woman and he’s a man, doesn’t mean she should get a free pass. Bad / unsafe / lazy driving should be pulled up on.

Edited

Her driving has been ‘pulled up on’ by herself, the man and the police. She has held herself fully accountable for her mistake. She did with the man too. And the police. What do you want her to do? Self flagellation?

He was OTT.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 31/08/2026 22:18

DressOrSkirt · 31/08/2026 21:17

This just isn't true. She's shown pedestrian safety is at the bottom of her concerns when driving and there are lots of scenarios where that could put people in danger.

No she hasn’t.

gahhhhhhhhhhbhhh · 31/08/2026 22:14

He has to prove you said it and it’s his word against yours. Just say he was intimidating you and the police will do nothing g

BlueFlowerySky · 31/08/2026 22:13

Smoosha · 31/08/2026 21:54

But she didn’t do it “because she didn’t know the way”. It wasn’t deliberate that she thought right I need to be over there so I’ll just drive across this pavement. She thought it was a road. Realised it wasn’t a road when she was on it. Decided it was safer to complete driving over it because it was a short distance (OP said about 2 meters. I have no idea if this is accurate as I wasn’t there). You are making it sound like she drove the length of Oxford street deliberately. Yes maybe reversing back off of it would have been better. Again I don’t know because I wasn’t there. If the main road was busy trying to reverse back into traffic may have been a more dangerous decision. At the end of the day the OP made a mistake and then made the decision she thought was right at the time from what she could see with her own eyes. This is what millions of people do everyday. Sometimes they make wrong decisions. But unless you were there and could know exactly what would happen if she made the opposite decision no one knows what the alternative outcome would have been.

Driving onto the pavement, can see how that may be accident.

Realising it’s a pavement and continuing to drive is a deliberate decision. It’s unsafe and lazy driving.

The man was unreasonable for going on and on about it, but he wasn’t unreasonable for confronting OP about it.

ETA that just because OP is a woman and he’s a man, doesn’t mean she should get a free pass. Bad / unsafe / lazy driving should be pulled up on.

runningonberocca · 31/08/2026 22:05

40notouttoday · 31/08/2026 20:01

Where do you live, you can't get the police out for actual crimes involving real criminals where I live 😂

Dangerous driving is a real crime as is threats to harm

runningonberocca · 31/08/2026 22:03

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 16:39

So what? It's not like she did it on purpose? Yet he on the other hand continued to follow a vulnerable woman down the street who clearly wasn't interested in engaging until she felt forced to defend herself in order to get the pervert to go away. It's textbook sexual harassment and the pathetic bully should be in prison for making women feel unsafe on the street.

Disgusting to see fellow women defend him. Some people just can't see outside the patriarchy clearly.

Of course she did it on purpose! What do you think happened? She was guided by the hand of God? She chose to deliberately drive her car over a pavement. She knew it was dangerous but thought she got away with it. Then when she was called out she chose to respond by threatening to punch him in the face. What if a woman had been the one to raise it with her? Should she still have threatened to punch her?

The man may have been irritating and persistent but it’s likely he was horrified by how dangerous her driving was. He said absolutely nothing sexual to her and made no reference to her being a woman. She needs to get a grip on her behaviour and it’s not doing her any favours to tell her otherwise

dreamingofgoodhair · 31/08/2026 21:58

DebbieSavage · 31/08/2026 13:10

U did nothing wrong hun I would have reported that man for sexual harassment he had no wright following u around like that hope ur OK ❤

He wasn’t sexually harassing her though ?

DressOrSkirt · 31/08/2026 21:57

PlacidPenelope · 31/08/2026 21:36

No she hasn't shown that at all. Seriously give it a rest with the whipping of the OP, not only are you making up scenarios you are now making unwarranted accusations about the OP.

You must be the exception that walks amongst us that never makes a mistake, is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

What scenario did I make up?
She said she thought it was safer to drive across a pavement for pedestrians, than to reverse onto a road for cars, and doesn't think that was a mistake.

I make mistakes but I would seriously consider whether I was fit to drive again if I found myself driving across a pavement. I would at least reflect on why that happened (both the initial wrong turn and then the active decision to choose pavement over road) and how I could prevent it in the future.

CruelsummerTS · 31/08/2026 21:55

If it helps I didn’t read that as you would punch him, I figured you meant if he carries on like this someone will punch him one day.

Unlikely though as I expect if you’d been a massive bloke he wouldn’t have been quite so keen to harass you.

Smoosha · 31/08/2026 21:54

BlueFlowerySky · 31/08/2026 21:40

Bloody hell, based on your OP it sounded like you accidentally mounted the kerb and quickly drove back off.

Instead, you drove down a pedestrian pavement. That is awful and until I read that bit, I thought he was being OTT but sounds like it was justified. You don’t do that OP. You don’t just drive over pedestrian areas because you don’t know the way.

And then you went on to threaten him?

Yeah, YABU. Wish the police give you a ticket for it.

But she didn’t do it “because she didn’t know the way”. It wasn’t deliberate that she thought right I need to be over there so I’ll just drive across this pavement. She thought it was a road. Realised it wasn’t a road when she was on it. Decided it was safer to complete driving over it because it was a short distance (OP said about 2 meters. I have no idea if this is accurate as I wasn’t there). You are making it sound like she drove the length of Oxford street deliberately. Yes maybe reversing back off of it would have been better. Again I don’t know because I wasn’t there. If the main road was busy trying to reverse back into traffic may have been a more dangerous decision. At the end of the day the OP made a mistake and then made the decision she thought was right at the time from what she could see with her own eyes. This is what millions of people do everyday. Sometimes they make wrong decisions. But unless you were there and could know exactly what would happen if she made the opposite decision no one knows what the alternative outcome would have been.

MasterBeth · 31/08/2026 21:52

He should learn some manners.

You should learn to drive.

PollyBell · 31/08/2026 21:50

A man didn't make you act like this other people are not to blame for own your behaviour deal with and move on

Justifying it does nothing

Rpop · 31/08/2026 21:47

Smoosha · 31/08/2026 21:22

I drove up a wrong way street last year. In theory a pedestrian may not have noticed me as they didn’t think they needed to look from the direction I was coming. So they could have stepped out in front of me. What do you want me to do? Stop driving for the rest of my life? Should the OP stop driving forever? Honestly I’m just not sure what you want her to do? She’s admitted fault. She’ll likely be thinking about her decisions for a while and what she could do differently. People make mistakes. And actually often learn from them. I’m not sure why you think the OP is destined to repeat this mistake over and over forever.

I agree. I can’t believe how harsh people are being. She was clearly stuck and stressed and checked there was no pedestrian or traffic around. It’s far from ideal. But she is being very reflective about it. I hate it when everyone thinks they are perfect and can’t understand another human getting into difficulty. I am a careful and decent driver. I am courteous and aware of my surroundings. I get how she could have got into this situation. It’s not ideal but we all make mistakes.

Rpop · 31/08/2026 21:42

FairyonaFrog · 31/08/2026 18:54

I just wanted to say that I am not AI or a previous poster, as has been suggested a couple of times. I know I behaved badly in this situation - it caught me off my guard and although I initially tried to react calmly and de-escalate (as I knew I was in the wrong), I became angry as things continued. I have started this post to try to straighten it out in my head as it is still bothering me.

There have been some genuinely helpful responses on here, which I will try to use if I ever find myself in a confrontational situation again. To answer a few questions, yes I am middle-aged, I'm average height / build, I've never hit anyone, and I was not intending to hit the guy in question and I know I shouldn't have said it.

If anyone is interested, I will clarify the driving mishap. It seemed too long-winded to put it all in the original post.

The town I was visiting has a main (busy) high street, and a parallel road (a kind of service road) running in front of the shops on one side. In places the two roads are separated by a wide-ish pavement, and in other places by perpendicular parking bays, which are accessed from the service road. (There is another pavement the other side of the service road, running directly in front of the shops).

I wanted to park in the service road bays, but I didn't know how to get into the service road. I had a vague memory that there were a couple of access points as you drive up the high street and I was looking out for them.

As I was driving up, I saw a wide, dropped kerb to my right... and I thought "there it is", so I started to make the turn into what I thought was the access point. As I drove up the kerb, I realised I had made a massive mistake, and that I was actually driving up a crossing point, onto the pavement. I made a split-second decision (knowing I had to get out of the situation as quickly as possible), so rather than reversing back out into the high street, I continued on a couple of metres which allowed me to drop down into the service road. There was no moving traffic here, only parked cars and there were no pedestrians around at that point.

No one was affected by my actions, but I know that I made a bad move. I assume that the man who approached me was a pedestrian who observed it from further away - maybe from the other side of the street, or maybe from the second pavement by the shops.

I can clearly imagine the situation you were in. I would have done the same re: pavement and indeed I’m sure many people have done the same. Provided you weren’t being unsafe, which you checked out first. That man is not the police. Most people would have rolled their eyes and let you get on with your day. He was way over the top.

BlueFlowerySky · 31/08/2026 21:40

Bloody hell, based on your OP it sounded like you accidentally mounted the kerb and quickly drove back off.

Instead, you drove down a pedestrian pavement. That is awful and until I read that bit, I thought he was being OTT but sounds like it was justified. You don’t do that OP. You don’t just drive over pedestrian areas because you don’t know the way.

And then you went on to threaten him?

Yeah, YABU. Wish the police give you a ticket for it.

PlacidPenelope · 31/08/2026 21:36

DressOrSkirt · 31/08/2026 21:17

This just isn't true. She's shown pedestrian safety is at the bottom of her concerns when driving and there are lots of scenarios where that could put people in danger.

No she hasn't shown that at all. Seriously give it a rest with the whipping of the OP, not only are you making up scenarios you are now making unwarranted accusations about the OP.

You must be the exception that walks amongst us that never makes a mistake, is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

DecisionTime123 · 31/08/2026 21:33

I can't believe anyone thinks this man was some sort of hero for harassing the OP. If the OP had been male a physical fight may well have followed, he clearly only did it as he knew he could get away with it. Sadly OP you did play into his hands with the "threat" but luckily the police could understand what happened.

Honestly hope this public spirited arsehole tries it on some 6 foot guy next time.

AngelaP71 · 31/08/2026 21:30

She did not decide pedestrian safety was unimportant.. There were no pedestrians there, and if there had been, I rather doubt she would have just carried on driving at them. She got briefly confused. It happens. We've all made mistakes.

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