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Phone use in bed - need my sleep!

28 replies

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:45

i usually head up to bed before DH, I’ll read or watch something on my iPad. Sometimes I’ll switch off and go to sleep before he comes up or sometimes he will come up and scroll on his phone.
I will always switch off before him as he is a bit of a night owl, I wear an eye mask so the phone light isn’t a bother but on several occasions over the past few months he’s clicked on something and the sound has been turned up and it’s woken me up. Problem is I wake with a jump, then my heart is racing and I really struggle to get back to sleep. He did this a few times and I had a chat with him about it during the day as I find it really disrespectful. He is generally quite a noisy person but this is really driving me insane. Last night he did it again at around midnight, I’d been asleep for at least an hour.
at the time I said that I thought we’d spoken about this, he said it just happens sometimes!
I don’t want separate rooms, but why isn’t he respecting my sleep? Am I just being moany?

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MustTryHarderAndHarder · 31/08/2026 12:02

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 11:41

This is a very good idea - thank you

We have a do not disturb to come on our phones between 10:00 and 8:00 but if he is going to watch things in bed then he needs he will need to put that those as an exception which will mean that the sound will still be on.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 31/08/2026 11:59

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:55

These are my thoughts and the fact he just ‘forgets’ really annoys me!

Just get him to set a daiy alarm on his phone at 10:00 or whatever time he comes to bed to remind him to turn the volume down.

ChocolateApples · 31/08/2026 11:53

I'd be seriously annoyed if this was once a week. Sleep matters and it's showing a lack of respect to your partner to keep doing this.

Can he build turning the volume down into his nighttime routine; that is attatch it to something else? So pyjamas on, phone turned down. That makes it easier to build the habit. I assume he doesn't forget to brush his teeth, so he can build this into his routine similarly.

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 11:43

Thanks all I appreciate the responses

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parkezvous · 31/08/2026 11:42

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 31/08/2026 10:55

My DH has done this a couple of times and it's made me furious for exactly the same reasons you have - but he took it on board and changed his behaviour. Why won't yours?

This is what’s upsetting me the most.

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parkezvous · 31/08/2026 11:42

OtterlyMad · 31/08/2026 10:55

I would be absolutely fuming. Once is an accident, twice is an inconsiderate jerk! If you’re feeling petty then wake him up in a similar fashion at 5am and see how he likes it.

I was so tempted to do this as I woke up at 4am!

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parkezvous · 31/08/2026 11:41

Flamingojune · 31/08/2026 09:58

Sit with him to set the do not dusturb on his phone to come on at 10pm for 8 hours. But ideally no phones in bed at all. Selfish git

This is a very good idea - thank you

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Pinkflamingo10 · 31/08/2026 11:37

Sleep in the spare bedroom until he commits to no devices and scrolling in the bed
nothing is worth sacrificing your sleep over

slumdogminulet · 31/08/2026 11:01

I gave my partner an ultimatum - no phone use in bed or we sleep in separate rooms. His choice. He chose to sleep together with phones elsewhere at night. It's better for good sleep habits too.

OtterlyMad · 31/08/2026 10:55

I would be absolutely fuming. Once is an accident, twice is an inconsiderate jerk! If you’re feeling petty then wake him up in a similar fashion at 5am and see how he likes it.

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 31/08/2026 10:55

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:55

These are my thoughts and the fact he just ‘forgets’ really annoys me!

My DH has done this a couple of times and it's made me furious for exactly the same reasons you have - but he took it on board and changed his behaviour. Why won't yours?

nutbrownhare15 · 31/08/2026 10:52

Tell him if he's scrolling videos he must use headphones.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 31/08/2026 10:40

Flamingojune · 31/08/2026 09:58

Sit with him to set the do not dusturb on his phone to come on at 10pm for 8 hours. But ideally no phones in bed at all. Selfish git

This, 100%!

onpaperitsgreat · 31/08/2026 10:13

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:53

I’m sure it’s not deliberate it’s just that he doesn’t think or check the volume. He does instantly switch it off and does apologise. It’s at least once a week. As soon as he comes up if I’m watching something on my iPad I put my headphones in. I think I’m just struggling with the lack of thoughtfulness 😢

Buy him some headphones. Must be worn in bedroom.

Bluenotgreen · 31/08/2026 10:03

No phone usage in bedroom or separate rooms.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 31/08/2026 10:03

I agree with minipie

minipie · 31/08/2026 10:01

He’s obsessed with Twitter!

😬 that’s a whole other problem, it’s become such an extremist platform

RockinCara · 31/08/2026 10:00

I think you need a no phones in the bedroom rule if this keeps happening- or no
phone while the other person is asleep.

Flamingojune · 31/08/2026 09:58

Sit with him to set the do not dusturb on his phone to come on at 10pm for 8 hours. But ideally no phones in bed at all. Selfish git

WerewolfOfLoudon · 31/08/2026 09:58

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:55

These are my thoughts and the fact he just ‘forgets’ really annoys me!

Accidental punch to the balls as you are jolted awake might remind him.

PinkyFlamingo · 31/08/2026 09:57

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:55

These are my thoughts and the fact he just ‘forgets’ really annoys me!

Clearly he doesn't care enough to remember, it's not difficult to put the volume down!

OneNavyPoster · 31/08/2026 09:55

It’s easy to switch sound off on his phone when he goes to bed.

Not doing so, when you’ve asked so you can sleep, is just ignorant and obnoxious.

This would drive me nuts.

parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:55

WerewolfOfLoudon · 31/08/2026 09:53

Why can't he just mute the volume on his phone before coming to bed @parkezvous ? Any respectful man would do that after the first accident.

These are my thoughts and the fact he just ‘forgets’ really annoys me!

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parkezvous · 31/08/2026 09:54

minipie · 31/08/2026 09:51

Best sleep hygiene is not to have screens in bedrooms at all, and have a break between screens and going to bed. If he wants to scroll why can’t he do it downstairs and come up later? But of course that would have to apply to you too! Could you suggest a no screens in bedrooms rule, for you both?

I have thought about this. I’d happily do it but I doubt he would. He’s obsessed with Twitter!

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WerewolfOfLoudon · 31/08/2026 09:53

Why can't he just mute the volume on his phone before coming to bed @parkezvous ? Any respectful man would do that after the first accident.