To find the use of the word ‘fiancé’ irritating?

To be honest, if your daughter referred to her boyfriend but I could see she was wearing what was obviously an engagement ring I think I'd be very confused!

Eloquently put, @Absolutelynot2!

@Sparklesbigtoe - do you object to other words that define relationships - mum, dad, grandma, boyfriend, girlfriend, widow, fwb etc - or is it just the existence of a word that accurately defines the person someone is engaged to, that you dislike so much?

Do you know what sounds really odd (cringeworthy if you like) to me? This particular use of the verb ‘to cringe’. Using an accepted word that’s been seen in English since the 19th century isn’t embarrassing. Repurposing verbs into other parts of speech when there are existing words to use should be.

I agree. It just sounds so cringe.

YABU. You don’t know her fiancé so it’s absolutely right that she refers to him
as her fiancé.

So anyway, if you have a problem with the normal, standard words fiance/husband/fiancee/wife it's very definitely a you problem.

And objecting to the concept of having a specific word for an engaged person is simply bizarre. Language routinely has convenient words for specific circumstances, you can also ditch widow and orphan if you're going to pretend fiance is an issue.

Those who discuss their circumstances get to decide how to discuss them, it's not your place to make that decision for them. If I say "I'm a widow, or "I'm an orphan" you know precisely what I mean, and I am in charge of that definition.

That's what language is for. We're not going to degrade communication to the level of Newspeak just because standard, normal terms offend you.

When discussing me, if not in my presence, you can pretend husband has no meaning and say "Man she lives with" if it comforts you.

If in my presence I will gently correct you and say "Oh do you mean my husband" - because you sound insane.

Treating fiance as somehow objectionable is making a completely ordinary piece of vocabulary into an issue when there is no issue except one you have invented.

I don't know why you feel inferior about not being engaged or having a fiance, but that's on you. And if you're going to claim you don't, in fact, feel inferior then you need to drop this nonsense, right now. Because there is simply no other plausible reason for objecting to a perfectly normal noun that is in common usage.

In fact, if you're going to pretend fiance is a problem then I absolutely insist that you must say "man I sometimes fuck and date" or "man I started living with and have sex with" instead of partner or boyfriend.

After all, it's accurate and you don't need a special term to describe anything, or anyone.

“Engaged” seems to have become a long term situation with some people I know.

@MNLurker1345 Good night. :)

@WearyAuldWumman I love it “I’m biding”.

I love language in all it shapes and forms.

It is a shame I wasn’t in that play. I am
walking around my kitchen, hand gestures as well, saying to my fiancé, lover, partner,
live in lover “I’m biding”.

Good night x

At one point, some Fifers were referring to Camilla as "the Royal Bidie-in".

In Scots, "bide" means "stay", so there is a connection.

Many years ago, I was in an (amateur) play where the last lines were

"Are you going or are you biding?"

"I'm biding."

@WearyAuldWumman - I only came across the term ‘bidie-in’ recently - in a Karen Pirie novel by Val McDermid, and I love it.

@Hoodle I think ‘bide’ as in to ‘bide one’s time’, has become archaic while ‘abide’ still holds a contemporary meaning, somewhat darker than its use as alluded to by @WearyAuldWumman

Or ‘abide’ - in the sense of endure!

This is the importance of language and
etymology. To ‘bide’ - I looked it up. Any connection to ‘biding ones time?

Missed out word "spouse" - "but wasn't your spouse".

I think it’s more that no one at work can keep up with their co workers partners names, kids names, best friends names etc.
Easier to talk using relationship terms, so colleagues understand what the fuck you are on about,

on the one hand… It’s a bit weird OP to be bothered by this. Who cares what other people say?

On the other… I can’t remember if I used this term when I was engaged though… probably not. It does sound a bit cringy.

It's just technically correct and why shouldn't she (and enjoy being engaged, it's only a season)? I think partner is quite naff tbh and usually means not married. I used it at a job interview when I was moving cities and they asked why, to hide the fact I was engaged as I got the feeling at a previous interview that the department head had been put off me once she heard I was getting married (she only heard it as it was a whole day group teacher interview and another interviewee asked me about my wedding when we were all having lunch).

I always find the word 'partner' a bit awkward - I'm old enough to remember when it was really only a term that was used for business use - but times change.

In Fife, the favoured term for a romantic partner who lived with you but wasn't your used to be was "bidie-in". It could be a bit pejorative, mind you. (I'm talking about the last century.)

It used to be that the term fiancé was quite significant (although I accept what others have said about it being a newer term than 'betrothed', etc).

Certainly until the 1950s, it was possible for someone to be sued for breach of promise if they broke off an engagement.

Have just Googled. Apparently it was abolished in England and Wales in 1970 and 1984 in Scotland. Crumbs.

I've never liked the word. Sounds pretentious. You're hugely overreacting.

Totally different things. Fiancé is a totally normal word that’s been use in this country since the mid 19th century DH etc is a site convention.

YES to both.. Fiancé and all the DH,DD,DS, ect. why can't the poster type my daughter, My son, my husband why DD DEAR daughter DS DEAR son, DH DEAR husband ??? I know there's more to life Im asking why?

I didn't use it 35 years ago
DD doesn't like using it now.
Refer to boyfriend and people can easily see the ring and know what's going on.

Neither of us have ever had partners either. Before I was married I had a boyfriend. DD has a boyfriend. Once married, a husband.

It's always quite amusing when an OP starts a thread then pisses off never to be seen again. But the thread results in a Bun Fight, especially when it's over something as inane as the use of the term Fiancé