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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find the use of the word ‘fiancé’ irritating?

364 replies

Sparklesbigtoe · 31/08/2026 09:06

Do people still use the word fiancé to describe the person they’re engaged to on a regular basis (eg. every time they mention them to someone who doesn’t know their name they’ll say fiancé rather than partner or bf/gf)? Or is this becoming kind of outdated? There’s a woman at work who keeps saying ‘my fiancé and I this, my fiancé and I that, yesterday I said to my fiancé blah, blah’. It’s really starting to grate on me because she could easily say his name then start referring to him by it, just like everyone else does. It also struck me that other people I know who’ve been engaged recently carried on saying ‘partner’, or they might say fiancé once or twice but generally they use partner. I’m sure I’m BU to find it annoying but it feels like they’re trying to boast that someone’s asked them to marry them everytime I hear it!

OP posts:
EtoileLune · 31/08/2026 09:15

CurlewKate · 31/08/2026 09:10

Oh please! Jealous????

Haha well what other reason has Op got to hate it so much... its factually correct 🤷‍♀️

Vulturesoverhead · 31/08/2026 09:15

I get it OP. I’m married, so not jealous, but it feels a bit ‘grandstanding’. ‘Not my partner, no no, we are engaged you know’ Yes, yes whatever.

comeoncolleen · 31/08/2026 09:14

Doesn't annoy me but I find it strange especially when the wedding isn't imminent. Perhaps they don't like saying Boyfriend , or are just extremely chuffed to be getting married.

likelysuspect · 31/08/2026 09:14

Yes totally agree with you. But then I cant stand all the DH, DD, DS, DSISKWLBOW on here either.

People are so performative.

Yetone · 31/08/2026 09:13

I can see where you are coming from but it is only really annoying if he remains a fiancé for years. To me it implies that you are to be married soon.
What I really don’t like is people who say that they are getting engaged soon. Getting engaged is a promise to marry. If you are going to get engaged then you have a promise to marry so you are already engaged.

Nourishinghandcream · 31/08/2026 09:12

If you are engaged then that person is your fiance and can be referred to as such.

Partner is just the modern term for boyfriend/girlfriend.

AndAnd · 31/08/2026 09:12

'There's a woman at work I don't like. AIBU?'

x2boys · 31/08/2026 09:11

Well people are always going to be annoyed about something ....

Loulou4022 · 31/08/2026 09:11

If it’s people I work with I just use his name!

concertinacornflake · 31/08/2026 09:11

I would say this is your personal issue. You're projecting about 'boasting', that is your internal emotional response.

Fiance is a word in common use still.

CurlewKate · 31/08/2026 09:10

EtoileLune · 31/08/2026 09:08

Have you ever been engaged?
That person IS the fiancè to me its completely different from partner/boyfriend/girlfriend

Is it grating because of some form of jealousy because its pefectly reasonable especially when work colleagues dont know the other person

Oh please! Jealous????

40andwingingit · 31/08/2026 09:09

But it is factually correct. Is it a sore point for you OP?

EtoileLune · 31/08/2026 09:08

Have you ever been engaged?
That person IS the fiancè to me its completely different from partner/boyfriend/girlfriend

Is it grating because of some form of jealousy because its pefectly reasonable especially when work colleagues dont know the other person

KilkennyCats · 31/08/2026 09:08

Why wouldn’t they? Will it still irritate you when she refers to her husband after they’re married?