To find the use of the word ‘fiancé’ irritating?

'Hubby/hubster/hubalub' or whatever are indeed annoying - as is 'wifey', which comes with more than a hint of misogyny and dismissiveness; but the actual standard words are just unremarkable, surely?!

Partner has been used for at least 2 decades. I find it hard to believe you have missed that.

I will admit I quite often use ‘partner’ for DH. We’d been together for aeons before we got married, and a ten-minute civil ceremony with two witnesses didn’t change anything. I was amused to find recently that an old university friend had no idea we’d got married )fifteen years ago).

When people say “partner” my first thought is always a business partner. It seems a very odd way to describe a romantic relationship.

Regardless, odd to give it so much headspace OP. Why do you care?

That's bizarre. So you've taken a neutral everyday word, assigned your own alternative negative interpretation of what it means, and then you don't use the neutral word because you don't like the negative association that you've arbitrarily changed it to?!

It's like saying that you hate cats because their incessant barking is so annoying - and it turns out that you just personally refer to dogs as cats!

To complement the "French fancy" nature of the word, mentioned by PP, I once worked with someone who pronounced "fiancé" as "fransay" 🤯
The marriage lasted about 18 months, I believe.

Why does it matter that they are your fiance. Partner will do, married or not and then name

100%

Christ you people are so fucking weird 😆

I am currently engaged but I don't like the word 'fiance' so I just say 'partner'. I can't quite put my finger on why the word isn't likeable, maybe just sounds too French?

This.

Yes. It’s awful. As is ‘husband’. And ‘spouse’
always makes me think of something small, grubby and domestic, like those stubby little washing up brushes that have a reservoir for washing up liquid inside.

It's a perfectly normal, understood term with a specific meaning: the person I am going to marry, but haven't yet done so.

I find it far weirder when people say "my partner" when referring to their actual husband or wife to whom they are properly legally married. It's almost as weird as the people who routinely refer to people whom they know - who don't even claim any kind of 'non-binary' identity - as 'they'... e.g. "It's my sister's birthday in a couple of weeks - I'll ask them if there's anything in particular that they would like as a present."

The only irritating thing is when people don't understand the different masculine and feminine French word endings, so they write the wrong form of 'fiancé/fiancée' - and you don't always know if they're in a same-sex couple or just got it wrong. If a woman mentions her 'fiancée' and upcoming wedding and you reply "Congratulations, what's her name?"... then she treats it like YOU are the stupid one!

You get the same with blond/blonde too; and I've seen people online refer to a 'masseuse' who is clearly male.

No, I agree, and for the OP perhaps the issue is that the word ‘fiancé’ is up there with the French fancies so popular with the British bourgeoisie like ‘serviette’ and ‘pardon’. The entry of words like ‘fiancé’ into the lexicon of the lower middle classes from the mid-19th onwards, particularly after World War II, is a fascinating historical subject. It’s a tale of aspiration and class, which in England particularly are mediated through vocabulary and pronunciation.

And back I go to Disraeli’s orphanage emigration reforms …

Yes tbh, I don't like thinking of myself as a "wife" either.

ha ha yes the irony! I blame auto correct

One of my (young) colleagues has got engaged. His fiancée is a colleague in another team. He persists in calling her " my fiancée" rather than her name. It's like she's become a possession rather than a person that we know. So, that's irritating.

I'm afraid I'm having some difficulty comprehending this! I think some typos have garbled things. But yes, people are certainly a varied bunch.

Call him what you want but take ‘marital status’ off job application forms.

When I worked in recruitment, one successful applicant stated ‘engaged’ as their marital status. It was a little cringe but even more so, what has your marital status got to do with whether you can do a job or not?

I used boyfriend until I moved in. Partner until we got engaged. Fiancé while we were engaged and wedding planning then husband since marriage.

Partner is an ambiguous word. Fiancé is clear in meaning that it's a committed relationship with intention to marry when a legal and public commitment is made.

Partners can be as committed and legally entwined as a married couple. It might also be used from a few dates in by someone not keen on "boyfriend"

I haven't encountered fiancé being used performatively. Maybe it could be if she keeps fiddling with a knuckle-dusting diamond as she says it, or if she's a bridezilla or serial wedding planner, but that's not something I've enciuntered.

It's a useful, specific word that's worth keeping in use.

OK, so you know who he is. Other people may not. I'm widowed. If I'm talking about my SIL to people who know her, I use her name. Otherwise I say SIL, or they wouldn't know who I was talking about. If I speak about my late husband on here, I say so. If I said Chris, no-one would know who I meant, or what relation he was to me.

I once called someone through fire a medical appointment. They mentioned their partner in the waiting room and I apologised and asked if they wanted to call them through to be with them.

They said, oh no, I only met them last week.

I think the word fiancé is appallingly twee (like a lot of French words which have crossed over). I also think its just a bit unnecessary: no one really cares about the exact status of someone else’s relationship. There’s something a bit needy and performative about having to have a special word to designate the fact you are going to get married but have not done so yet.

One of the many things that I’d never have thought can piss people off. But it seems you’re not alone, OP. Apologies to everyone who was around me while I was engaged to my now-husband. I certainly didn’t do this because I felt somehow special, I just tend to call my boyfriend my boyfriend, my sister my sister, my fiance my fiance, my mum my mum, my husband my husband….you get the idea.

If you’re not married you aren't husband and wife, though. Boy/girlfriend would be more appropriate if you don't use partner.