AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

This!

I know it’s unreal isn’t it 🤣🤣

I suppose what the DD could’ve said, hey mum I don’t fancy a roast, but you sit down put your feet up and I’ll make us something else…… but somehow, I don’t think she’s “that” type of daughter.

i mean someone goes to the trouble of cooking for a separate meal and you’re unhappy with them! 🤦‍♀️

You can even put it in the freezer on its use by date. I wouldn’t put it in after that day but I often stick food (including chicken) in the freezer on their use by date, if I’m not going to eat it yet.

Then tell her she’s a grown ass adult who can make her own food. You are not her maid.

Msybe they’re the dd as they can’t seem to see how unreasonable and ridicilous 22 yr old dd is being.

Since when is it acceptable for someone to dictate what everyone else can’t eat because they don’t ‘fancy’ it.

What's the point of having a freezer if you still stick to use-by dates?? The whole point of a freezer is to be able to keep stuff "fresh" almost indefinitely.

Either you don't understand what a freezer does, or you're getting the word mixed up with fridge.

BTW, you won't come to any harm from cooking and eating a chicken one day past its use-by date.

She isn’t a child. She’s 22. She is perfectly capable of knowing what she likes and doesn’t like without needing someone to constantly lecture her with, “You have to try everything, and only then can you decide whether you like it.” She has preferences. She’s an adult. That’s normal.

And honestly, why are people acting like we’re living through WWII rationing? As if having a preference about what you eat is some outrageous modern luxury and everyone needs to be grateful for whatever happens to be put in front of them.

Somehow, though, forcing your family to eat food they don’t like is being presented as some profound parenting philosophy here. Apparently, “everyone actually enjoying dinner together” is now a terrible concept. Because obviously, sitting around a table eating something nobody wants is far more meaningful than cooking something everyone will genuinely enjoy and actually want to share.

And the irony is almost comical. We live in a time when people are constantly talking about having a healthy relationship with food, yet somehow making food enjoyable for your own family is treated like spoiling them.

Shock horror, we all like different things so we have meals that we all like on various days. That doesn't mean I am dictated to, just means I listen and take everyone's preferences in to consideration as well as mine and my husband.
Do I cook various meals in one day? No.
Do I cook meals my kids dislike repeatedly? No
Are my kids brats because they don't like some foods? No
There are plenty of options out there of which none mean being a brat or dictating to people.

😂

Sorry

buy
prepare
cook
and eat!

You allow your children to dictate what you eat?

Ive heard it all now!!

That’s not how freezers work 🤦‍♀️. The point of them is that you can eat food past its use by date or it might as well just go in the fridge.

I’ve done this, don’t do it, the hair gets in your teeth!

She had what she wanted. OP didn’t present her with a roast dinner, that was for others to eat.

The point is the mum made her pasta bake! for her coz she doesn’t like a roast! Why should DD dictate that nobody could have a roast, when her DM has gone to the trouble of making her a separate meal.

Frozen food does have a best before date, presumably OP's frozen chicken had one on it? Dunno why this is a strange concept to people.

Apparently you could if you wanted to, defrost a woolly mammoth that has been frozen for millions of years and eat it.

She’s a spoilt brat! Eat what you’re given and be bloody grateful or batch cook for yourself and warm stuff up.
Mums have enough going on and you do get to a point where it become a chore.

22 yo and dictating what a family meal should be. WTAF!!

@Kittyninja267

i know right… when OP is all alone in a nursing home she’ll only have herself to blame!

The point is that the mum agreed to make something else which she then didn't, it's not hard to understand the difference between "can we have something instead of a roast?" and I don't want a roast. The OP said it in her post that she agreed to that them did it anyway. If the DD had known she was doing a roast anyway she could have been prepared for that. The mum knew what she implied by agreeing to make something else. A simple conversation at that point could have avoided the whole drama

I don’t think you did anything wrong here. She is 22 not 6. And she had the pasta bake available but obviously wanted to make her displeasure clear by not eating that and having the cottage pie.
Unless there is further background info, your DD needs to work out how to deal with minor disappointments in life. I suspect at 22 she is torn between wanting to be independent and at the same time really not. Does she cook dinners at all? For herself and for the family? If not, she should be.

Me too. In all the years we lived at home there was never a single conversation about what we wanted for dinner (or any meal). It was eat it or go hungry. You simply never questioned it. I admit though I did discuss options with my kids, but wished I hadn’t and should have just followed my mum’s way instead.

Bossy? Because I actually care whether my guests enjoy the food I’ve made? That’s not “bossy” : it’s called being a considerate host. I entertain all the time, and I always tell people what I’m making beforehand because I have enough respect for my guests to care about their preferences.

I would never make something like seafood pasta and then expect people to sit there forcing themselves to eat it just to avoid hurting my feelings. That’s not hospitality; that’s ridiculous.

Maybe it’s a cultural difference. In my culture, when you have people over, you ask what they like, you make an effort, and you cater to them where you can. My mum has always done that for us — when I was 22, and she still does it now that I’m 39.

So I genuinely don’t understand your attitude. What exactly is the point of feeding people if you couldn’t care less whether they actually enjoy what you’ve served? And why are you acting as though not liking a particular food is some kind of personal offence?

People are allowed to have preferences. Expecting them to eat something they dislike just to make you feel good is far more selfish than simply asking what they like.

If caring whether my guests enjoy themselves makes me “bossy,” then I’ll happily be bossy. I’d rather be that than someone who expects people to suffer through a meal just to protect my ego.

The brat got what she wanted, which wasn’t a roast! She didn’t want a roast and didn’t get one!

But she still wasn’t happy, being cooked a separate meal! Have you missed that point?

I think she means that it’s insane to freeze and then use something before it’s sell by date.

You might as well keep it in the fridge if you are going to do that.