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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

507 replies

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:19

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:49

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 11:38

Why on earth would you make a family dinner with two meals that you already know they don’t like? It just seems like such a waste of time, effort, and money.

Wouldn’t it make much more sense to cook something that everyone actually enjoys?

And honestly, why are people acting like we’re living through WWII rationing? As if having a preference about what you eat is some outrageous modern luxury and everyone needs to be grateful for whatever happens to be put in front of them.

Maybe that’s the reason?

Or maybe as OP said she had a chicken to use up, and doing a roast was good for her!

Maybe she bends over backwards to please everyone?

She was kind and thoughtful yet you are giving her a hard time? Why is that?

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 11:48

Will no one think of the pasta bake 😱

SlugJam · 31/08/2026 11:47

Why did you freeze it if you were going to use it before the use by date anyway?

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:45

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:40

A dictator for ASKING for something else 😂😂😂
A dictator for being disappointed for her mum to agree to one thing and then decides to go back on her word 😂😂
Oh and a dictator to ask fur somethimg else without asking for a specific thing 😂😂

You all have a pretty skewed idea of what a dictator is.

And then it’s apparently better to ask real people like posters on MN rather than AI. Yep such a neutral place with really valid views, grounded in reality.

At least, you’ve all made me laugh 😂😂

No she’s being a dictator for SAYING no one should have a roast! 🤣🤣🤣

Leave AI and use google to understand the meaning of the word dictator!

Again she ASKED for something else and she GOT something else!

But she didn’t want that either.

Ive used upper case letters, to make you understand, you clearly think it’s important to do that and makes a point more valid!

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:44

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 11:38

Why on earth would you make a family dinner with two meals that you already know they don’t like? It just seems like such a waste of time, effort, and money.

Wouldn’t it make much more sense to cook something that everyone actually enjoys?

Well that happens if there are vegetarian/vegan/food intolerance family members all the time. It’s not that alien a concept. I don’t really like steak so if I made it for my family I would have an alternative.

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:42

CustardySergeant · 31/08/2026 11:40

It wasn't even the best before date, it was the sell by date! Ludicrous.

That’s because it was just an EXCUSE.

The reason is in the OP. @TURTLE74 likes roast dinners. She probably does one every week.
I don’t think there’s anything else going on.

Blades2 · 31/08/2026 11:42

She’s 22. I have younger at home and if they didn’t like what’s being cooked they sort themselves something.
cut the apron strings you’re doing her absolutely no favours.

Kittyninja267 · 31/08/2026 11:41

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:34

What do you mean, This? She wasn’t forced to eat anything, it was she who was forcing people to not eat something.

The fact that people are losing their minds over someone not liking a roast and having the audacity to ask if the family could have something else for a change. She didn't ask the mum to cook her a separate meal, the mum agreed to make something else and then decided to make a roast and a 2nd meal for the daughter. I think it's nice to eat the same thing as a family so we roate what we eat so everyone gets to enjoy their favourite and whilst they eat the other meals they are presented it's not their favourite which is OK. I just think the mum should have just said I'll be making a roast anyway so what to you want or do you want to sort yourself out rather than saying yes then doing it anyway. The thread should be called, Am I being unreasonable for making the meal I said I wouldn't? Or am I being unreasonable for agreeing to make a different family meal and then not doing so? Responses would be very different but that's more accurate to what happened.

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:40

A dictator for ASKING for something else 😂😂😂
A dictator for being disappointed for her mum to agree to one thing and then decides to go back on her word 😂😂
Oh and a dictator to ask fur somethimg else without asking for a specific thing 😂😂

You all have a pretty skewed idea of what a dictator is.

And then it’s apparently better to ask real people like posters on MN rather than AI. Yep such a neutral place with really valid views, grounded in reality.

At least, you’ve all made me laugh 😂😂

CustardySergeant · 31/08/2026 11:40

SandyLanes · 31/08/2026 07:54

Why did you bother freezing the chicken if you were always going to eat it before its best before date? That makes no sense and completely defeats the point of freezing fish and meat!

It wasn't even the best before date, it was the sell by date! Ludicrous.

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:39

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:32

Praise the lord someone else can see the real situation!

The DD is trying to be the dictator!

I can’t understand why others can’t see that. It’s so obvious she’s being dictator-like. My youngest (21) doesn’t really like roast dinners either, my eldest loves them. If I wanted to make a roast dinner he would be given an alternstive option and everyone else would be eating the roast dinner. He’s not a drama llama though so it wouldn’t (and hasn’t) been an issue.

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:39

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:36

She wasnt.

She ASKED. Is that not even allowed for an adult in the house to ask for something eise? Everyone has to do as the cook decides or else maybe? Or everyone cooks what they want (and the OP eats her roast dinner on her own - never mind the waste). I’m pretty sure that if tge dd was cooking agd was doing tge same - cooking something she knows the OP doesn’t like despite having agreed she wouldn’t - the OP would not like it one bit.

The OP though AGREED and then WENT BACK ON HER WORD. That was shit.

She got something else!

Compromise?

I don’t like roast can I have something else?

Yes, I’ll do you a pasta bake!

Rest of family wanted roast (what on earth you’re talking about it being a waste), maybe they should’ve said no, we will dictate you’re having a roast because we are?

instead everyone got what they wanted with additional work for OP.

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 11:38

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:31

JFC!!!

No one made her eat anything she didn’t fucking like, the mother made her a separate fucking meal that the DD also didn’t fancy!

It’s the DD that’s forcing the family to not have the roast they wanted! So all your sanctimony should be aimed at her!!

Why on earth would you make a family dinner with two meals that you already know they don’t like? It just seems like such a waste of time, effort, and money.

Wouldn’t it make much more sense to cook something that everyone actually enjoys?

Livpool · 31/08/2026 11:38

She was being an ungrateful brat! She had 3 options and was also capable of cooking for herself. My
10 year old DS wouldn’t carry on like this.

WestwardHo1 · 31/08/2026 11:36

This has gone on for 14 pages???

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:36

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:30

She wasn’t forced to eat the roast dinner. She had a pasta bake and cottage pie as alternatives. She was dictating what everyone else wasn’t allowed to eat.

She wasnt.

She ASKED. Is that not even allowed for an adult in the house to ask for something eise? Everyone has to do as the cook decides or else maybe? Or everyone cooks what they want (and the OP eats her roast dinner on her own - never mind the waste). I’m pretty sure that if tge dd was cooking agd was doing tge same - cooking something she knows the OP doesn’t like despite having agreed she wouldn’t - the OP would not like it one bit.

The OP though AGREED and then WENT BACK ON HER WORD. That was shit.

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:34

Kittyninja267 · 31/08/2026 11:28

This!

What do you mean, This? She wasn’t forced to eat anything, it was she who was forcing people to not eat something.

20thCenturyFecks · 31/08/2026 11:33

A pasta bake for Sunday dinner? Be still my beating heart.

Presumably what she actually wanted was a nice Sunday dinner which wasn't meat, gravy and 2 veg. Even a lasagne with salad and garlic bread would have been more exciting. My DH is wedded to a traditional roast and sometimes its just so boring.

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:32

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:30

She wasn’t forced to eat the roast dinner. She had a pasta bake and cottage pie as alternatives. She was dictating what everyone else wasn’t allowed to eat.

Praise the lord someone else can see the real situation!

The DD is trying to be the dictator!

Cosyblankets · 31/08/2026 11:32

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:27

Cottage pie was from last night. I don’t like using chicken past it’s sell by date. She didn’t fancy the pasta bake.

Then she can get off her backside and go and buy / make something else!
Entitled!

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 11:31

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 11:21

She isn’t a child. She’s 22. She is perfectly capable of knowing what she likes and doesn’t like without needing someone to constantly lecture her with, “You have to try everything, and only then can you decide whether you like it.” She has preferences. She’s an adult. That’s normal.

And honestly, why are people acting like we’re living through WWII rationing? As if having a preference about what you eat is some outrageous modern luxury and everyone needs to be grateful for whatever happens to be put in front of them.

Somehow, though, forcing your family to eat food they don’t like is being presented as some profound parenting philosophy here. Apparently, “everyone actually enjoying dinner together” is now a terrible concept. Because obviously, sitting around a table eating something nobody wants is far more meaningful than cooking something everyone will genuinely enjoy and actually want to share.

And the irony is almost comical. We live in a time when people are constantly talking about having a healthy relationship with food, yet somehow making food enjoyable for your own family is treated like spoiling them.

JFC!!!

No one made her eat anything she didn’t fucking like, the mother made her a separate fucking meal that the DD also didn’t fancy!

It’s the DD that’s forcing the family to not have the roast they wanted! So all your sanctimony should be aimed at her!!

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 11:30

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 11:21

She isn’t a child. She’s 22. She is perfectly capable of knowing what she likes and doesn’t like without needing someone to constantly lecture her with, “You have to try everything, and only then can you decide whether you like it.” She has preferences. She’s an adult. That’s normal.

And honestly, why are people acting like we’re living through WWII rationing? As if having a preference about what you eat is some outrageous modern luxury and everyone needs to be grateful for whatever happens to be put in front of them.

Somehow, though, forcing your family to eat food they don’t like is being presented as some profound parenting philosophy here. Apparently, “everyone actually enjoying dinner together” is now a terrible concept. Because obviously, sitting around a table eating something nobody wants is far more meaningful than cooking something everyone will genuinely enjoy and actually want to share.

And the irony is almost comical. We live in a time when people are constantly talking about having a healthy relationship with food, yet somehow making food enjoyable for your own family is treated like spoiling them.

She wasn’t forced to eat the roast dinner. She had a pasta bake and cottage pie as alternatives. She was dictating what everyone else wasn’t allowed to eat.

HouseBee · 31/08/2026 11:30

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:23

Because of the date

Like what? It would have gone bad in a week?

PeonieLover · 31/08/2026 11:30

Your daughter's entitled generation then enter the workforce and make it hard for the rest of us. I'm thoroughly fed up of these 20 somethings now. I should start another thread about the new graduates starting at my workplace! 😕

You were not unreasonable, your dd was for rejecting the pasta bake and playing victim by eating the leftovers.

catsflorafauna · 31/08/2026 11:29

This is the most un-British thing I’ve ever heard, she doesn’t like a roast, utterly ridiculous. Police should be involved.

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