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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

507 replies

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:19

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
diddl · 31/08/2026 10:31

So what did she think was going to be cooked if not a roast?

I think I'm in a minority in not liking pasta bake!

diddl · 31/08/2026 10:29

Well, no one went hungry so that's the main thing.

godmum56 · 31/08/2026 10:28

I can't vote because you are both weird.

lcakethereforeIam · 31/08/2026 10:28

The chicken didn't have to be roasted, it could have been cut up and casseroled. Or roasted and served as a bunch of different stuff, didn't have to be a roast dinner.

I don't understand how it was defrosted in time to roast. I thought if you cooked it frozen the centre would be undercooked or the outside overcooked.

I think I've got stuff in my freezer that probably qualify as family heirlooms.

Sprog was definitely being unreasonable.

Messedupmyusernameagain · 31/08/2026 10:28

Finaly · 31/08/2026 10:00

When did you tell her the menu had changed? If I'd had a conversation with whoever was cooking and they'd agreed to make a change for me I'd be disappointed to sit down and find out they'd made the usual meal without telling me.

I have young adult / teenage kids and quite often they ask if we can have something different for a change, if I said yes then realised I needed to use something else up instead then I'd let them know as soon as I realised. I'd offer an alternative or they'd decide to make their own.

I'm also another one confused about the frozen chicken, it lasts for months in the freezer.

Edited

Yes I think at the very start OP should have said ' no, I like a roast on a Sunday and there's ca chicken I need to cook before the use by date. You can cook next week or whatever'. Especially if there was a chicken in the fridge (If OP deliberately defrosted an entire chicken immediately after telling her DD she wasn't going to do it that would be weird and PA!).

MissMappsGardenProduce · 31/08/2026 10:26

Finaly · 31/08/2026 10:00

When did you tell her the menu had changed? If I'd had a conversation with whoever was cooking and they'd agreed to make a change for me I'd be disappointed to sit down and find out they'd made the usual meal without telling me.

I have young adult / teenage kids and quite often they ask if we can have something different for a change, if I said yes then realised I needed to use something else up instead then I'd let them know as soon as I realised. I'd offer an alternative or they'd decide to make their own.

I'm also another one confused about the frozen chicken, it lasts for months in the freezer.

Edited

A Menu!

Good Lord. Do people have menus in their own homes?

Maybe you are very rich and have a private chef. That said, I suppose the OP did have a menu-with an option of three hot meals.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I dish up supper. Take it or leave it.

Williteverrainagain · 31/08/2026 10:25

ScaredButUnavoidable · 31/08/2026 10:15

I thought frozen chickens had to be eaten within 3 months of going in the freezer 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I’m assuming this is what OP means when she talks about “the date” ??

However, I admit I am very anal when it comes to to meat and use by dates (fresh and frozen guidelines) so I’d be exactly like the OP 🤣🤣

She actually said ‘use by’ date in an update, so it appears she doesn’t understand what a freezer is for. Baffling.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 31/08/2026 10:25

I’m very confused by your comment about the chicken. The whole point of freezing is so it lasts months beyond the use by date. Look up Freezing rules.
Reading between the lines she wanted to have a nice family meal and feel part of it not be sitting there with a different meal.
If you always do a roast then doing something different one week isn’t an unreasonable ask.

Rothburypixie · 31/08/2026 10:21

Everyone ate, who flipping cares!

EatingSky · 31/08/2026 10:20

She’s an adult. She needs to be told, clearly, that she doesn’t get to dictate the menu unless she is buying and preparing the food.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 31/08/2026 10:20

This is such a low stakes thread, but I’m now ridiculously over invested. OP, please come back and explain the lifespan of freezer chicken (and other stories) to us, so that I can live my life.

ExquisiteSocialSkills · 31/08/2026 10:20

I’m wondering what happened to the pasta bake. Is someone going to eat it?

MissMappsGardenProduce · 31/08/2026 10:19

TheChosenTwo · 31/08/2026 09:46

Honestly just stuck on the bratty dd’s behaviour and the fact that the chicken absolutely needed to be cooked yesterday despite being frozen. I mean did you cook it from frozen? Wasn’t that incredibly… dry?!

I thought chicken was one of those things that had to be defrosted before cooking.

MarthaLovesLaughing · 31/08/2026 10:18

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:27

Cottage pie was from last night. I don’t like using chicken past it’s sell by date. She didn’t fancy the pasta bake.

Research the science behind freezing food 🙄

FoldItIn · 31/08/2026 10:15

22 years old. I repeat, 22 years old.

Time for a cooking rota.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 31/08/2026 10:15

I thought frozen chickens had to be eaten within 3 months of going in the freezer 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I’m assuming this is what OP means when she talks about “the date” ??

However, I admit I am very anal when it comes to to meat and use by dates (fresh and frozen guidelines) so I’d be exactly like the OP 🤣🤣

Fizbosshoes · 31/08/2026 10:11

The OP didnt make the roast for her DD nor insist that she ate it, and she made an alternative dish, how is that not taking her likes/dislikes into consideration?

Vulturesoverhead · 31/08/2026 10:11

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 31/08/2026 09:47

Even though the packet says 'Bejam' on it? Grin

Show quote history

Ha, brilliant 🤣

VickyEadie · 31/08/2026 10:09

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 10:04

Do adult children really dictate what their parents choose to cook, even when getting their own special meal made?

Thank fuck I never had this nonsense in my home!

Show quote history

Indeed! Once again, I can just imagine my late mum's reaction if I'd tried at any age to dictate what she was cooking for the family.

I was allowed to opt out of parts or even the whole meal once I was a young adult (the notion of offering children something different didn't exist when I was a child) - but if I did opt out of the meal cooked, the onus was on me to make myself something different.

LittleBearPad · 31/08/2026 10:09

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 31/08/2026 08:58

What happened to the pasta bake? Is it now frozen?

Not for long in OP’s house! It’ll need eating up within two days because of the dates!

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 10:08

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 10:04

Do adult children really dictate what their parents choose to cook, even when getting their own special meal made?

Thank fuck I never had this nonsense in my home!

Show quote history

Why the hell would you not take your own family’s preferences into consideration? That’s genuinely bizarre. Cooking a family meal that you already know they don’t like, just to prove some ridiculous point, is not “teaching them a lesson” — it’s being inconsiderate and wasting everyone’s time. They’re not toddlers who need to be forced to eat something they hate so they can learn some imaginary life lesson.

But I guess in this modern world, sitting down to an actual dinner at a properly set table, having a decent conversation, and making food that everyone can enjoy has somehow been replaced by everyone scrolling on TikTok and the attitude of “why the fuck would I care what you want?” Apparently basic consideration for the people you live with is now too much to ask.

Sidebeforeself · 31/08/2026 10:07

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 30/08/2026 23:28

Why do you have a freezer?

This made me laugh so much

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 10:04

oliil4l · 31/08/2026 09:34

I think YABU here, mainly because she specifically asked you not to make a roast and you agreed. I can understand wanting to use the chicken up, and it was thoughtful to make her a pasta bake as well, but from her point of view you said you’d do one thing and then did another. It sounds like the issue is probably more about keeping your word than the roast itself. She had something she liked to eat, so it’s not a huge disaster, but I can see why she was upset.

Do adult children really dictate what their parents choose to cook, even when getting their own special meal made?

Thank fuck I never had this nonsense in my home!

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 31/08/2026 10:03

She sounds like an entitled brat. She's a fully grown adult, and needs to grow up.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/08/2026 10:01

I mean you can't freeze things absolutely indefinitely, they do degrade. But they're still edible just maybe not up to restaurant standard, nobody is going to die.
But there are so many other issues at play here that this is almost irrelevant.