AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

Because she can’t face up to the chicken question.

Why does she think that she gets to dictate what everyone else in the house is eating?

Fine for her not to eat the roast, but she doesn't get to tell the rest of you what (not) to eat.

All - I don’t think the OP is coming back.

I’d probably agree if it had been a question of ‘shut up and eat the roast or go hungry.’ But OP literally made her DD a whole other dish, I’m struggling to see how that could in any way be viewed as hurtful…

But it was in the freezer. The sell by date is therefore not applicable. It wouldn't have needed freezing in first place f it was within its sell by date. (BTW I assume you mean use by date not sell by date)
Are you and/or your daughter drunk? You are rambling on about frozen chicken, sell by dates, pasta bakes and cottage pie!
No sense to be found here.

but you're assuming there was only op and her daughter to consider
and that op wanting a roast doesn't matter.

op had a roast
she cooked a separate meal for her daughter, as well as there being left overs.
why isn't this good enough? why does the daughter have to stop anyone else having a toast?

You cooked a frozen chicken?

I think there are a lot of variables that go into determining whether you perceive this as ‘trivial’ or not. Our own upbringings, cultural backgrounds and general relationships with food, cooking and family probably play a part in how we see this.

For some people, preparing and serving food for others, especially family, can be a huge point of pride and laden with deeper meaning. I’m thinking of my friends with Indian or Italian mothers and grandmothers, for example, who would spend days in the kitchen preparing for their kids coming over for a family lunch and would be utterly horrified at the thought of anyone going hungry or not having something they liked to eat!

My own mum is very much someone who shows her love through cooking and feeding people and take tremendous pride in it, and she is also extremely passive-aggressive so if she cooked something after specifically being asked not to then I know it would absolutely, 100% be a calculated move on her part 😂

But not everyone has that kind of relationship with food or those kind of family dynamics. In my husband’s (probably much more normal) family a roast really would just be a roast, and anyone being upset about it would be met with utter incredulity.

If she's this sensitive to something this trivial, she's got some growing up to do imo. It's giving snowflake, to me anyway.

I’m not saying she should be pandered to her every whim I’m just saying perhaps this is why she seems upset aka it’s not about the roast it’s about not feeling considered or heard maybe.

Equally I don’t think it would have hurt to go along with what her daughter wanted when all she asked was can they eat something other than roast. Not everytime but op doesn’t say she’s ever made this request before.

Ok this is very helpful! I didn’t know this would work - excellent ❤️

I voted YABU purely because you agreed not to do a roast, but then cooked a roast (because a frozen chicken needed to be used by the use by date?!?!).

I think she may have been fine if you had said from the start you were doing a roast, rather then going back on what you agreed.

It's up to you when you feel you need to use things in the freezer but theres no point in freezing food if you want to use it by the use by date. Unless you bought a frozen chicken??? Which then would have been there for months anyway?

The only thing we know that the chicken was in, is in date.

My 13yo is capable of cooking for herself if she doesn't like what I'm cooking.

I suggest your dd grows up a bit, you aren't her servant!

I think the used by date issue is a red herring - you'd be completely legitimate to make a roast dinner just because you fancied one!

Amazing! 🙌

She’s 22 not 12. Tell her to do her own bloody cooking if she doesn’t like it??

Yes.

You just have to cook it for longer :)

https://improvisedlife.com/2018/03/16/how-to-roast-a-frozen-chicken-its-terrific/

https://cookthestory.com/cook-whole-chicken-frozen/

Why are you freezing it then? That’s the whole
poibt of the freezer to keep it fine longer.

You can??? 🤯

I’m literally howling at this comment as I’ve got homemade soup in my freezer that has probably been there from the dawn of time.
It is now a bespoke antique item.

I don't understand this. Chicken in the freezer will last for ages. Also there are many other things you can cook with a whole chicken that is not a roast meal. Maybe you could have come up with a meal together using the chicken.

So do you believe an adult child's every whim should be pandered to?

Sounds like she wanted to share a family meal that wasn’t a roast. Not sit eating pasta bake feeling like she wasn’t considered.

You can do other meals with a whole chicken… even just roasting it in spices and brown sugar or marinading in herbs and serving with macaroni cheese and greens cooked with bacon. Or turning it into chicken wraps etc.

Or... if your family want you to cook for them, they need to eat what you cook, or go hungry.

Daughter is 22 and not 2.ffs !
Get a grip