AIBU not to pay for my sister’s younger children’s hobbies?

@SheGood she is being rude to ask. As is your mum.

The agreement to pay was when she had two children. She has chosen to have two more children so she needs to finance their activities herself.

You are obliged to do nothing and initially I agreed with all the posters who replied that your sister was being cheeky and that you should outright refuse. However, you are clearly close or at least close enough that you wanted your children to have shared experiences and to spend time with their older cousins. In your position I would consider paying for swimming lessons or something practical that gives them a good life skill. As previous posters have said, make it clear that she (or her offspring) aren’t entitled to anything from you.

Definitely not. That's so rude of her to ask.
This is not you treating them differently - the older kids went to the hobby with your kids, that's the only reason you paid. Your kids got something out of it too.

Just because you can afford it, doesn't mean you should!!
If you're feeling torn, you could gift an activity (eg. 1 x swimming lesson term) for a birthday or Christmas present (if you want to..) but ultimately it is your sisters responsibility to provide for her children not you and she is rude to expect you to.
On a separate note, clubs are not a necessity to a child's upbringing, they're a nice to have if you can afford it. My 10 year old is only just doing piano lessons because we can afford it and because it's something he's genuinely interested in!

Some people are just so entitled. OP, its up to you what you feel comfortable with.

Is this for real? Funny how you have assumed that 2 sisters are not close.

Its a hobby which is a luxury in most people's world. It is not compulsory! Lots of parents would love to send their kids to an extra hobby but simply cannot afford it.

OPs Sister is what you call entitled. They seem close enough for OPs Sister ti even ask her in the 1st place. She is a liberty taker and on that ground I would simply say NO sorry.

“Sorry, our priorities have changed now we are older and our children have only got more expensive”

It's ridiculous and grabby of her and it deserves to be shot down in flames.

My brother's family struggles and my mum paid for brownies/scouts for his kids so that they got to do a club. It costs less than most other hobbies. One option if you want to do something is offer to pay for that instead, presuming it is much less expensive than the other hobby.

I would probably hide behind saying finances are a bit tighter now, especially if you have older teens or uni students still. Easier to say you can't than you won't, and gives her less ammo against you.

No good deed goes unpunished eh.

I'm torn on this one - I would 100% be enraged at the entitled attitude but I would also feel very sorry for the kids.
I think I'd probably end up offering to go halves with them on 1 activity each - but I am a massive soft touch where kids are concerned.

She couldn’t afford the children she already had so went on to have 2 more!!! She is selfish and irresponsible. To even consider asking you to pay for her younger ones shows how self-entitled she is. Call her out for it. Explain how you feel and refuse to pay.

What's to say she doesn't end up having even more kids and you have to pay for those too? Just explain why you paid for her first two kids and say no.

Outrageously cheeky. I would never ask for my sibling to pay for my children's hobbies. Say no.

I think it depends on the relationship you have with your sister (and possibly with these young kids). If she’s a bit entitled, or a bit self centred and not reciprocally interested in your life, then its going to feel harder to pay for her kids than it might if you have a close and loving relationship of equals. Are there other issues between the two of you, or between you and her new partner?

The younger children should be completely unaware you once paid for their older siblings' pastimes. There is no excuse for their being told about it. Therefore they will not suffer any hurt from thinking they've been treated differently. Don't be guilt-tripped. You may have money now but you don't know what tomorrow brings or what your own children may need in the way of support as they embark on life.
PS I say this as someone who had a millionaire brother and whose OH was once made redundant -- never asked him, or anyone, for a penny.

You absolutely don't have to pay.

But on these threads I always think my answer would depend on the context. If I had plenty of spare income, and my sibling and partner were on a low wage, I might be happy to pay for something like swimming lessons or scouts/guides. Probably not something mega expensive like horse riding.

Total no. You only paid for the others as their cousins were doing it at the same time. Your sister is a cf. Has your sister paid towards anything towards your children ever.

My God. Your sister has some balls to even ask you OP. She is taking advantage. Its nice of you that you paid for her other two but unless I was wealthy I would not of paid for ANY of the kids.

Can't wait for the update!

It is very cheeky. I don’t feel treating the children the same really applies in this instance. However as other posters have said can your mum and you get together and do this as combined Xmas and birthday presents. It would be a shame if the children didn’t get to do these activities, it’s not their fault. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Don't pay. Tell them you paid for her first children because -your- children were participating, but now you no longer have small children you've no need to invest in activities. Make it clear it was only done as a treat/one-off because you had a reason to invest, at the time.

Explain to her that she can ask her partners family to pay for them, if she really wants them to go and she's confident enough to ask other people to pay for her children. Tell her, her choice to have more children she cannot afford to pay extra curriculum activities for -is her choice and problem-. Otherwise, where do you draw the line? Does she keep having children and you forever pay for them? It was a one-off privilege the first time around and not an invitation to treat you like an ATM.

Please tell her to get stuffed, get off her backside, and earn her own way in life. You are not her crutch.

Dear god, some people are cheeky and entitled! If your sister has kids she can’t afford, that’s on her. If your mum wants them to do an activity, she pays. This is not your responsibility and I find it mind blowing they choose to think it is. Batshit.

If this was the sister expecting babysitting people wouldn’t agree at all but since it’s money some are saying to keep the peace just pay. I’ve got a well off sister who paid loads for my older kids, I had another 9 years later, no way would I ask or expect thr same!

In time it will be 4 x first cars...

Personally I would pay because they are your nieces/nephews too and I would treat them all the same because I would want too. Not because it would be expected. I wouldn’t just agree I would tell her the reason you will pay, and call her out on the sheer cheek and expectation and the reason why she has asked. I would go as far as say that your kindness for her older children was done so they didn’t miss out as they were close to your children etc but feel that your kindness was never seen for what it was with her latest ‘request’. And that is what has saddened you greatly. I would also pay the clubs direct and not to your sister. As far as your comment about she shouldn’t have had more kids, that was her choice. Like I said I would because I would want all my nieces/nephews to experience the same because I could afford it regardless of the original reason why I paid. But I certainly would call her out on her attitude and self righteousness and entitlement.

What would you do if one of the kids had a flair for it and could be very competitive? The costs for most hobbies can rise exponentially once they get to a competitive level?

This. If you've got the ££ then you could consider it as a nice thing to do for the kids but it is definitely entitled of your sister and she needs telling