AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

Here come the ridiculous, awkward mums, of course. Nobody can read a comment? "Not that they wouldn't anyway but this just makes it worse."

So instead of potential pedophiles seeing your child at a pool in their swimming costume, which is bad enough, you think "well fuck it, they fantasise about them clothed so may as well let them fantasise about them topless" ?????

In that case why not just take them naked? Going by your ridiculous logic (or lack thereof). Come on now

At age 4? Quite a lot of people as this thread shows. Because.it.makes.no.difference.

Yeah if you actually read my comment you will see that I said that. Who tf has the mindset of "well a bit of lycra won't deter them, so may as well just let the paedos watch them run around topless". 🫪

Yes put a top on her. She'll immediately become invisible to pedophiles who are incapable of fantasising about a clothed child. Or maybe put her in a burka and never, ever take her swimming again- cant be too careful.

Wtaf? A peado is twisted enough to fancy babies, a bit of lycra isnt going to deter them

What an utterly bizarre thing. How did she know your 4 year old was even female?

Why would you potentially risk pedophiles and predators looking at your daughter with no top on? Not that they wouldn't anyway but this just makes it worse. You have to protect them regardless of how you would like an ideal world to be.

Just put a top on her. Don't be that ridiculous, awkward mother.

I have said yanbu as pool can set its own rules. There are weird people out there. My ds usually wears a rash vest in the pool.

This

Nuts! A female child of that age looks identical to a male. In Europe it’s common for little girls to run about in just bottoms. Let her swim in what she wants.

More uptight, performative, woke posturing! Twats!
Common sense has gone out of the window in this once great country.

Could be yes, at no point have I said boys and girls should be treated any differently. For me, I have both covered top and bottom

I don’t think any of us normal people can understand the inner workings of these terrible people. They are everywhere. Someone I went to uni with has been arrested for child offences with a 10 and 12 year old. I’m sure many parents of boys put little tops on their boys in public pools also. Once you’ve had some experience of the darkness of some humans it makes you much more wary. Perhaps the worker knows differently and is trying to protect the young girl. It’s sad but many small children have been prayed upon and many adults have been those children. It’s a public swimming pool with indiscriminate access to little children. They are only small children in our eyes but their are many other eyes in public.

If paedos in the pool are “affected” by children’s bodies I’m sure they will be equally affected by a boy since their torso looks the same.

We do what we can where we can. The thread is about swim costumes so in this instance I’d protect my daughter’s body from strangers. It’s very simple. In an ideal world you wouldn’t but it’s not exactly ideal.

We’re all arguing from the same viewpoint though because none of us want to see children sexualised, we’ve just fallen into two camps

1. My child does not have a women’s body therefore it can be on show in public.
2. My child does not have a women’s body, however some people (in the minority) are attracted to children’s bodies therefore I’ll do my best to cover it up and not give them what they are looking for.

I believe in the first stance however I’m a realist who works for the police so I practice the second one.

But boys the same age can wear the same swim shorts with no top and that’s acceptable? At 4 they have identical torsos.

I’m with you OP. They either have a blanket rule for all young children e.g must wear an all in one suit or not at all.

I used to work as a TA in a primary school.

we did reading tests with pretty much the whole school every September. Bloody boring and zi used to mark them.

we had a scale that converted marks into reading age and it was different for girls and boys (girls were expected to be better at the same age),

there was only ever one child I had to ask the teacher what sex she was.

it is genuinely quite easy to tell although I don’t think I could write it down easily.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t dress her in the full bikini, or buy a full swimsuit.
it comes as a 2 piece. Labelling someone for asking your child to dress appropriately under their policy is wrong.
teaching your kids what’s in their underwear, or swimwear is theirs and private starts at a young age.

They are quite obviously different scenarios 🙄

I agree - weirder for a 4 year old to wear a bikini top than just bottoms. When I was small I just used to wear bottoms - thinks it's more common in Europe than UK (sadly).

Until she begins to get breasts or wants to wear a top...her choice, surely?

Not every man is a peado....but I'd have thought bikini top would likely draw more attention than no top at all.

No as boys dont tend to wear bikinis and swimming costumes do they?
Paedophile paradise seeing little girls with no top on.

I dunno, I think it's pretty clear who is a boy or girl for most kids anyway.

I know what you mean, but as I was writing I was thinking about boys with long hair and girls with short hair. (And I hate the blue/pink thing, so I was imagining kids in red shorts/pants). I do acknowledge that it's sommetimes difficult to know, but I still think that you can largely tell them apart. Perhaps it's the way they move or speak perhaps. I was just disagreeing with the assertion that you can't tell which is which.

conversely it's marking her out as obviously a girl, whichoghy also might make her a target. you can't win unless you're gonna make them swim in baggy, unisex head to foot clothes!

I assume your basing it either on clothes or hair. which means you would definitely get the sex of my kids wrong, and plenty of others. not all kids for into pink / blue / long hair / short hair.