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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

563 replies

ChampagneLassie · 30/08/2026 20:30

I took my two daughters, aged two and four, swimming at Nuffield Health. My four-year-old was wearing swimming bottoms but no top.
A staff member told me she needed to wear something “more appropriate” — apparently a bikini top or one-piece. I asked why, as a four-year-old boy would presumably be allowed to swim topless.
I said I felt this was sexualising a pre-pubescent child. The staff member replied, “I’m a mother. I’m not sexualising children.”
When I asked about the actual policy, she could only say that children had to wear “appropriate clothing”. I’m planning to contact Nuffield for clarification, but I’m interested in other parents’ views.
AIBU to question this? Would you expect a four-year-old girl to have to cover her chest?
I used AI to help make this post more readable.

OP posts:
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9
Imaginingdragonsagain · 30/08/2026 20:38

Plra · 30/08/2026 20:36

It never occurred to me to take my dd swimming with no top. Why did you do it?

I don’t think they were sexualising your dd.

Yes same here to be honest, mine always wore a swimsuit. When would you draw the line? 6/7/8/9?

OriginalSkang · 30/08/2026 20:37

How did they know her gender?

fashionqueen0123 · 30/08/2026 20:37

Yeah why are a 4 year old girls nipples different to a boys? Staff member should not have said that

Greentigershoo · 30/08/2026 20:36

I actually find children that age wearing bikini tops weird, they have nothing to cover and I feel like bikini tops suggest that they do. But I spent half my childhood in Italy where it's very much the norm for little girls just to wear bottoms without the top.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/08/2026 20:36

Why wasn’t she wearing a swim top? Her views might be outdated but I’m not sure it’s fair to accuse her to sexualising your child.

Kalioko · 30/08/2026 20:36

That's crazy, my daughter occasionally wore a top at that age but not always.

Original poster
ChampagneLassie · 30/08/2026 20:36

TheBlueKoala · 30/08/2026 20:33

Completely unhinged unless your 4 year old is already in puberty and got breasts.

Why didn't you say she was non gender? That would have made her back off not wanting a discrimination case on her back.

I thought this and wondered how that conversation would have gone. To answer previous question. Getting them in and out of swim wear feels like quite an effort, so now she can swim I was very keen to just do pants and in general she opts to wear as little clothes as possible. (I had her in one of those suits with built in floats before).

OP posts:
Plra · 30/08/2026 20:36

It never occurred to me to take my dd swimming with no top. Why did you do it?

I don’t think they were sexualising your dd.

minipie · 30/08/2026 20:35

Ridiculous of them.

Kingdomofsleep · 30/08/2026 20:35

How did the staff member know she was a girl? Boys and girls look the same at that age (and the shorts area was covered obviously)

TheBlueKoala · 30/08/2026 20:33

Completely unhinged unless your 4 year old is already in puberty and got breasts.

Why didn't you say she was non gender? That would have made her back off not wanting a discrimination case on her back.

Evaka · 30/08/2026 20:33

I suppose it's unconventional not to have top covered, but not inappropriate. She's a baby at 4! A lot of my family would have girls in bottoms only on the beach but probably cover their tops in leisure centres. I can't put my finger on the difference though and don't think you're bu.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 30/08/2026 20:31

Is it your choice or hers for bottoms only?