AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

Fat?

I wouldn’t have been phased by this, however, I did notice a little girl in the park, no older than 5, was topless and had actual breasts. She had actual breast tissue. I’ve never seen that on someone so little. I did think it odd that she was uncovered as it was a very strange thing to see, and everyone was staring at her. I’m still so intrigued by what that was?

And why would pulling their swimsuit off be inappropriate?

Can you not see your hypocrisy?

When I was a child in the 1960s, it was common for little girls to play outside in the summer wearing only shorts and sandals - the same as the little boys.

Our swimsuits were the one piece variety, but I do recall once playing in a cousin's paddling pool whilst wearing a pair of swim briefs borrowed from one of the other cousins.

If a 4yo can do pants, they can do a swimming costume.

Get them ready at home first.

Because Op wants a reaction. I have a 4yo dd too and have never seen a girl just wearing the bottoms. It’s not hard getting her in and out of it just like any other outfit.
in fact putting on a pair of tights is 100x harder.

I think you don't understand what sexualising children means - it's not accusing the woman of paedophilia, but of attributing sexual characteristics prematurely.

My DC always wore a one piece in the pool so they didn't pull them down which would have been inappropriate.

Just buy her a swimming costume. Yawn 🥱

I think expecting a four year girl to wear a top om a pool is fine and normal.

Most swimming costumes for girls are one piece.

she’s hardly sexualising your child fgs.

Do you know anyone who wears a hijab? Because it is not about sexualisation at all. You're imposing your own value system onto a completely different one.

I'm not Muslim myself but I've had many conversations with women who wear them and it is definitely not because they think their hair is sexy.

Anyway this will derail the thread so I regret bringing it up. You need to open your mind to other points of view rather than accusing female leisure centre staff of being p-dos!

Edit to add - you may not have used the word but accusing someone of "sexualising" a 4yo is the same thing. Some creeps out there actually do sexualise 4yos, and this was not that

I’m not getting this at all but why would you not put a 4 year old girl in a one piece e swimming costume but a pair of bikini bottoms and no top????

I think ok on the beach; not in a leisure centre.
I don’t think it’s sexualising your child; it’s normal dress code for swimming.

I’m currently in a Scandinavian country and almost all the toddlers are in just a swim nappy. My son has board shorts and a rash vest over the top, which I’ve realised is entirely pointless as he normally wears them for sun protection and this is an indoor pool. But we’ve been at splash pads etc all summer and he’s wearing what he’s used to.

I think it was an odd request personally, as above boys and girls are identical at that age if their genitals are covered. It’s very common outside of England to see young girls topless but I have to say you don’t see it often in England. Most people seem to go for the all in one sun suits and then not buy different ones for indoor swimming I guess?

I have a 4yo too. Why are you wrestling her out of it? It’s the same as any set of clothing she needs to wear? School uniform, dress up, shorts and tshirt.

I wouldn’t put a 4yo in a bikini top.

probably would put them in a swimsuit at a pool because that’s just what a swimsuit is designed for. But I’m assuming that’s what I’d do - it’s not something I’ve ever had to consider as a choice!

DS was raised abroad and generally outside pool in apartment block and beach young girls and boys wore just trunks/bikini bottoms and a swim t shirt during the hottest parts of the day. It was also very gender neutral with it all being passed down around all the kids in the complex regardless of “sex”.

We never went to an indoor pool so can’t comment on what the kids were wearing there.

She's got nothing to put in a top so this is very weird of them. It's stranger to put a bikini top on her.

Getting them out of swimwear really isn’t that hard, and I think it’s obvious that it’s the norm as the vast majority of ‘girls’ swimwear is sold as a 2 piece or a full over suit. My son wore a rash vest in the pool
when smaller as he got cold. Nothing unusual about it really

Sounds like you just want a reaction op. Why wouldn’t you put a top on her? Unless you are specifically buying her stuff from the boys section, all costumes for girls come as a one piece or has a top and bottom.

I've not (to my knowledge) ever seen a girl swim without a top on. Swimming costumes are more common than 2 pieces in lessons.

I think it's weirder to see young children in bikini tops covering non existent breasts. A full one piece is something else but a two piece bikini always looks odd on little girls to me (not bottoms and a rash vest an actual bikini top)

I also don't think she was sexualising your dd and I think that was unfair of you to accuse the woman basically of being a p-do.

I think it was more the kind of mindset that puts primary age girls in hijabs. I think she was more thinking about protecting her "modesty" as if girls have some kind of secret girl-essence that needs hiding away.

I don't agree with the staff member but I think you were unreasonable to make the accusation you did